do you ever jus think wow , and nothingg

wow i never thought youd be the death of me .. have u ever just thought wow , i fucked that one up ?
we could have been something more than it was drawn out to be,
but we never were. everything was too scary. im missing you , thats why i belive im writing about you.


i liked you john , everything was magic form the first point we started talking. what could go wrong ?
i got to know you , thats what went wrong. i get to know everything, and its not right.
i dont believe in people i know , i believe in the things i dont know about them.
everything about people. people are my expertise. i wrote an essay today , about how i observe people.
isnt that what were constantly doing were watching people.
there are a few people i dont get annoyed by. one of them was you.
until everything you told me.


Dont question me , when you question me, you judge my motives. all of your faithin me is diminished, and i dont respect you.

there are a couple of people who piss me off in this world one is those littlegirl that are very cocky. the ones with the attitude. how do they sleep? i once had a friend where all she would do is give people attitude. she didnt maintain friends for long.ionce took drugs withher. ive never told anyone this anyone . doing drugs,and things of that nature , is nothing to brag about in my book. she now has a girlfriend, i wonder how they fuck.






Junior year

i enjoyed my junior year more than anything . ive had so many new experiemces.
I hated my lunch table all year , dont you think if you hate something so bad, you would want to change it. Maybe we dont change things because were too lazy . and to scared to start something new. its not that i sat at this lunch table because i had no other friends, but thats the exact reason i thought i sat there. i didnt feel like sitting with anyone else. because these were people i was comfortable with . It was all girls, and the boys would ocmeover to our table once and a while.

HATE

do you ever know someone and you just dont like them , but you keep them in your life, because they come with great benefits, like possibly a ride, a moment , or a past memory you share, sometimes we hold onto old memories, thinking we could make better ones. because thatsjust how we think. but you know this person , and you know how much of a bad person they are. their so bad that you have no idea why anyone would want to be with them! unless they met someone like them , someone as shady, and pervocative as them . GOOD for them , they found eachother, thye sould leave everyone else by themselves.

WRITING ADD
i start writing about something , then somehitng else pops in my mingd, and i have to start a whole new paragraph , because it has nothing to do with the one i was just writing about.


MATT CURRIE

Its summer , and of course i have one of those flings. Summer flings are the worst. because when you start school, it all ends. But i dont want this too end. And they say your supposed to enjoy your time, and ya know not think about what is going to happen , or the ache you'll feel . But i know how bad im going to feel when all i want to do is kiss you in the halls, but you cant do that can you? because your too afraid of what people will think of us. And thats embarassing for me. I always invision me trying to kiss you . and having you reject me, and i just slap you . and you deny me all the time. you deny things we've did, and your a horrible person , so why am i writing about you. i think that you've helped me realize what i want , and with what kind of person , that person will never be you. because the person that deserves me would never deny me, he would never make me feel like you make me feel . your a maniac, and im just a roller coaster , in your own private amusement park.

but the truth is you can have me whenever you want. whenever you call me , im there. im Right there, literally, id do anything for you. and i cant get your face out of my brain , and it sucks because im so tired of thinking about you. it feels like im with you even when im not. and the second i think im over you . over the entire stiuation we're in , you creep back into my mind. and you stay there for a while, and you alwayswhen i know you will . why do you do htis, i wonder if yu know what you are doing to me. i wouldnt know , because we dont speek of our feelings. and if i like you , i might tell you when im drunk , because i dont have the guts too , and i dont think i ever will . i dont think you'll ever leave me , i consider you a lover. and thats what you'll always be to me matt, alover . . present tense.