Perfect Little Oddity

I know each child is different. Please! I'm a teacher. I've seen some quirky kids. But I'm pretty sure my son has some interesting, if not sometimes obsessive and occasionally gross, likes and soothers. Yes, he has his "B" (his blanket bear with satin trim that is actually one of a family of woolly octuplets that rotates tag-team style on the shelf in my closet), and he has his "Dee Dee" (his pacifier) to soothe him when he's upset. But there are other things, things the average toddler may not even relate to calm and comfort.

One of those things is the hard, bright turquoise blue brick found in many peoples' freezers. That's right. The lunch box ice pack. He loves to carry around these frozen, Pop Tart size slabs.
"Coool Mama! Is coooool!" He'll happily coo, as he holds the heavy block sweetly to his cheek.
You may think, "Oh, well, maybe he's hot!" Or, "Maybe his teeth hurt!" No, this kid likes the ice WAY more than that. The cold little calmer goes straight to bed with him. He snuggles with it like the softest stuffed animal. He kisses it, sniffs it, holds it on his stomach, his neck, his face, and even his feet. He holds it in his warm little paws and never complains that he's cold, or asks to put it down. Nope. That piece of plastic is trapped in his clenched little fist after the last lullabye, only to be pried out by Mom or Dad to be placed in the freezer door, next to his own body double, for the next day.

Another of AJ's comforts is coupons. We noticed this back when he was just 18 months or so. He came home from Grandma's with a chocolate pudding coupon. Normally, this wouldn't be something we would cut out for ourselves. So, I had to ask Aaron about it.
"You craving some chocolate Jell-O pudding, Honey?" I asked, after AJ reluctantly let me look at what he had been holding onto for the past hour after we picked him up.
"No. He must have stolen that from my mom's house." I looked down at him, as he stared back, reaching for his ticket to .50 cents off his next purchase.
"Huh." I had said.
Now, at 26 months, it is so much more. One of the words AJ says better than any other word is "coupon". He loves coupons in an obsessive sort of way. When he's crying in the store, we give him some coupons. When he's grouchy at home, during that time between dinner and a bath, we give him some coupons. When envelopes, or newspapers come in the mail, and he sees perforation, or a thick dotted line, you better get your scissors.
"Coupon! Coupon!"
"You want me to cut some out for you?"
"COUPON! YAH YAH!" He doesn't want one, he wants a full on stack. It doesn't matter what they're for- he just wants them!
He pretends to "doolooloo" the barcodes. He pretends they are money and gives them to Aaron and I so we can buy plastic food. He lays them out and examines them, one by one. He counts them. They get crushed, ripped, chewed up, but he doesn't care. You better not throw one away- unless you aren't afraid to dig through dinner scraps to find that tiny shred in the trash can.
Another use he has for coupons is communication. It is very interesting how certain coupons appear at just the right moment.
"AJ are you hungry? You want some fish sticks and corn?"
"No." He called the other evening to Aaron. He walked into the office and handed Aaron a coupon for a large pizza, soda, and game tokens at Chuck E. Cheese. "Go Cheese? Peepa?"
"You want to go to Chuck E. Cheese and have pizza?" Aaron looked at him in shock.
"Peepa yah yah." AJ ends all important statements with "yah yah".
Another time, I was going to work on a weekend. Aaron asked AJ if he would like to go to lunch at In-n-Out. As he was packing AJ's diaper bag, AJ brought in another hint slip.
"What do we have here? Oh! Buy one get one free Western Bacon Cheeseburger? Carl's Junior?"
"Junior, yah yah." AJ has never even eaten at Carl's Junior, but apparently he thought the Western Bacon Cheeseburger deserved a try and was a great deal.
Our favorite was the time AJ brought us a coupon for chocolate turnover at Arby's. We'd been trying to decide where to eat one Saturday, and were about to settle on another buffet. AJ was playing Legos, happy he hadn't been made to put on his shoes yet.
"AJ get your shoes on! Let's go eat at the buffet! Yum!" I grabbed his sandals and marched over to his Lego table. From some secret coupon hole, AJ pulled the full Arby's ad out.
"Chocit? Cake?" He pointed at the chocolate turnover.
"Where did you get that? Honey, ha ha, AJ wants Arby's chocolate turnovers!" Aaron came over to see what was so funny. AJ just looked at us, like we were annoying. Aaron went and dug through the junk drawer for the scissors.
"You want Arby's, Bug? Sounds good to me!" And to Arby's we went.

AJ just seems to me to be part squirrel. Shiny objects catch his eye. Colorful objects call his name. And any toilet object is a must have. He loves plungers and toilet brushes. It doesn't matter where I store them. He'll find them, use them as swords, and declare war on the pets. Every night when I am in the shower.
Last night, I hid both items in my closet behind a shoe rack and a play tent. No way could he have seen where I put these, because he was drinking his nightly cup, relaxed, watching Spongebob the Movie for the gazillionth time.
"Hee hee! No nasty toilet brush wars tonight!" I thought to myself. I climbed into the shower and began to wash my hair. As I lathered, I saw a little creature fly by the glass door.
"RAHAHAHAHAH!!!" AJ screeched as he headed for the bed with the toilet brush.
"Rarf! Rarfrarfrarfrarf!" Rocky is highly offended by AJ's desireto stab him with the prickly potty cleaner.
"AJ! STOP! EW! DIRTY!" As I shout, I see his little behind head through the doggie door.
When I can't find something, I know to look in the yard. AJ hides all sorts of embarrassing goodies in plain sight for the neighbors. I've found kitchen tools, feminine products, undergarments, toilet plungers and scrubbers, and even toothbrushes out there. Sometimes, the dogs will even offer their own two cents worth of urine dribbles. It's really like a treasure hunt without the possibility of riches, but with the possibility of ruin.

Finally, AJ loves clutter. He would like to sleep in a pile of "stuff" that doesn't belong to him. Last night, AJ fell asleep with Super Glue, rubber cement, a keychain with a pig that "oinks", and a staple remover. He's been known to sleep with an OXO wine opener, lotion, Chapstick, spatulas, tape, coupons (of course), pens, notebooks, receipts, bookmarks (that he's taken out of my books), tape measures, necklaces, nail files, dishwasher packs and screwdrivers. He's even slept with five cans of Cesar dog food on occasion. The more junk he can fit around himself, the better. Do I have a little hoarder on my hands? I don't think so. He's just as excited to throw all these same things into the trash can when he feels like it. There is always something else he can snuggle with!

I know, I know. All kids probably to weird things like this. But I'm telling you, my little oddity is special. He's got a brain that has a unique way of thinking; he can plan way beyond any other toddler I know. And that is the truth. Yah. Yah.