The role of control in your life

Have you ever given some thought about why control plays such an important role in your life?

The answer is quite simple. It all started with the don’ts, which you were subjected to since your childhood.

So, let’s take closer look at the don’ts. Can you remember how many times you were told “NO!” by the time you have reached the age of eighteen?

It is estimated to be between eighty and ninety per cent. Only a small percentage of the answers was neutral, and an even lesser percentage was positive. The problem many people don’t realize is that the “don’ts” and the “no’s” form a considerable percentage of all the programming they received.

This means that you have grown up in an environment where control plays a major role. In fact, because of the intense control you were subjected to, you seldom have the opportunity to think independently. You always have to ask for permission to do anything. And even if on a rare occasion you have a suggestion, or an idea, you will be confronted with the phrase: “Yes but…” or something similar.

The chances are good that when you join the workforce, you will end up in an organization where a compliance mindset is dominant. In fact, in most mature organizations and especially in government services, this will be the case. This will further reinforce your beliefs about control, which may have a major impact on your potential.

As you climb the career ladder, and stick ardently to the control measures, you will soon be in a supervisory capacity from where you will be able to control others. The higher you climb the more control you will be able to exert.

Now, one of the characteristics of control is that it is self-generative, i.e. control generates more control. This creates another problem. Owing to the fast changing world, predicting the future has become quite a challenge. What’s more, the fear of loss of control will become more evident. And, according to your thinking, the only way to counteract this fear is by more control, thus reinforcing your compliance mindset.

You start to work harder to keep things under control, but the harder you work, the greater the effort becomes to control, creating more fear that things will not go according to plan. A snowball-effect is created resulting in desperation to improve control. Eventually, everyone and everything are engulfed in this control-craze to ensure that no mistakes are made.

It is not difficult to predict the outcome of this insatiable desire to control. Apart from smothering creativity, people are often driven to extreme levels of anxiety and stress. No wonder you will find yourself in the straitjacket of control from which it is hard to break free. It requires that you have to move out of your comfort zone where control is dominant, and which keeps you protected.

You see, you have to become aware of the fact that there is more to life than to be fenced in by a compliance mindset. To free yourself from the restrictions of compliance, you have to find the courage to break out of this mindset. This can only be done if you are prepared to change your manner of thinking, and accept the risk involved.

Changing your thinking to free yourself from the shackles of control will require imagination, courage and especially the drive to envision and pursue your purpose. This, of course, is easier said than done, because it involves diagnosing your manner of thinking to determine the following:
• How are you thinking at present?
• What is likely to happen if you don’t change your thinking?
• How would you like to think in future and what is stopping you?
• Are you prepared to accept the risk involved in this change of thinking?

You cannot address and rectify the adverse effects of control in isolation, because you will invariably find yourself on a side-track. It has to be done within the context of systems thinking, where it will be synchronized with adjacent activities to reduce red tape, among others. In this role, control will mainly serve as a tracking mechanism, and not to police activities.

By taking charge of your thinking, you will find the courage to free yourself from the don’ts. This provides the first step towards claiming your authentic power, and will enable you to pursue your vision and purpose without outside approval.
In addition, you will enhance your effectiveness as a leader and a manager to pursue your unique purpose.