The Lust

The Lust

He was staring at her as she was talking to her friends just outside their building. Now and then she also threw awkward glances at him, she was very much aware of the intentions of this man. But she was scared, scared of taking drastic steps. She knew these types of sick men, how they gaze at you, she often came across them. But the problem was that this man lived in her building and right next to her apartment. As her friends left one by one, she looked sideways at him, he was still staring at her. I had to be strong, brave, she thought. And she marched towards the building entrance without looking at him, as she passed by him, she felt as if he wanted to touch her. She ran towards her apartment and closed the door behind her as soon as she stepped in it. Her heart was beating faster, Annie, you have to be strong, he can't do anything, she convinced herself. Annie lived in this building with her father for last three years. She was in college while her father worked as a bartender. She was known to be the most beautiful girl in the college with her dark long hair, blue eyes. She was tall and had an air of grace about her that made her even more beautiful. But she was not like other girls, she had limited friends, she hardly talked to any boys. She remained to herself and while alone she used to cry thinking about her mother who died in a car accident. She sometimes found it difficult to express herself, even in amidst her friends she usually felt alone. As she sat on the couch with her coffee, bell rang. She looked at the clock and knew that it was her father.

He was lying on his bed, staring at the wall. His hands were shaking, his mind racing. The thought of her was driving him mad, her smiling face, her red lips, her breasts, those legs, everything was going through his mind. His heart was beating faster as though dreading something. He knew what he was driven to, could he do it, he wanted to. He had hard and blunt features, dark eyes which matched his hair. He had unnaturally long fingers and he was getting thinner and thinner. Jeremy lived alone his apartment for several years now, he had no friends, no family. His mother died while giving him birth, soon after his father left him when he was just 3 years old. His Uncle took care of him who died when he was eleven. From then he lived by himself, by his own rules. He worked at several places but nowhere he felt a sense of belonging. Often just to leave a job he used to get into a fight with his colleagues or boss 'cause of which he spent many nights behind bars. But one had to earn money to live that's a cold hearted truth, so he started working for a money lender. Beating up people and recovering money that they owe and won't pay, was his job as well as guilty pleasure. But his needs were same as every other man. He used to go to topless bars but prostitutes could never satisfy a man in a way that a normal girl could. That's when he saw Annie, and he felt something. It was pure lust and everytime he saw her something in his pants used to move. He opened his drawer and retrieved a photo. This was a photo of Annie that he took several months ago, he used it to satisfy himself, his urges. He stared at her picture, then he moved his hands inside his pants but something struck him. He threw the picture on the floor, How long, he thought. How long should i keep these feelings inside me, it's not my fault she's beautiful, it's her fault. She would be responsible if anything happened to her. Why she teased me like that, today also she was looking at me, like she wanted a piece of me. She wants it, and she wants it badly, he thought. But can i do it, what about my life, what if i got arrested. No, i would not leave any evidence, any witnesses, i would do it when she is alone. I would rape her, yes. Then i would kill her otherwise she would tell everybody. He again looked at the picture which was lying on the floor. Could I kill this woman, look at her, her beautiful eyes, innocent face. NOOOOO, he screamed, he closed his eyes. He can do it, and she would enjoy it, she would. She wants it, yes she wants it, she is an evil conniving woman who had it coming. Then he stood up, picked the picture and tore into pieces before looking into her eyes, her innocent blue eyes.

Days went by, He kept an eye on the schedule of Annie. When she went to college, when she returns, when her father returns from his job. His plan was perfect, he would leave his T.V. on at the full volume so that everybody would think he was watching it, and when she would return from college at six, he would enter her apartment by picking up her lock, a skill that his Uncle had taught him. Her father won't return till 8. He would have 2 hours to do the deed. He would do it slow, deriving full pleasure from it, he thought with a twisted smile on his face. He would cover her face with a piece of cloth, he couldn't stand her eyes and her looking into his when he would be doing it. Then with a sharp knife that he would be carrying, he would stab her till she dies. At 7:30 he would leave the apartment and would enter his. He would wash his knife and wait until they discover her body. He wouldn't come out of his apartment as it would draw attention, he would only open when cops would have arrived and surely ask questions. He would say that he was watching T.V. and heard nothing. He would act normal while doing this. Jeremy practiced what he would say to cops if they asked what he was doing at that time and did he hear anything? Then he looked at the clock, it was 6. He took a long breath and looked at the knife and the piece of cloth lying beside him. He picked them and switched on the T.V. He increased the volume at a point where it would be loud but would not attract any of the neighbors to his door to reduce it. Then he opened his door a little and saw Annie as she closed the door behind her.

He again looked at the knife, and for one moment he considered his decision, the outcomes, the people affected by it, Annie. He shook his head as though thinking that these thoughts would fall from his head. Was it his conscience that stopping him, compelling him to reconsider it, he looked at his hands, they were shaking, He never felt like this before, he closed his eyes and pictured Annie naked. He felt something in his pants, then when he again opened them, he was determined, he marched towards her apartment. As he entered her apartment, he could hear someone arguing. Damn, who is with her, he thought. My plan, it can't be possible. He slowly walked towards the room from which the voices were issuing. Standing outside the room he could hear the argument,

"You are my father." Annie screamed, it seemed like she was crying.
"I'll show you what a father can do, you'll do what i say, you are my property." Her father growled, he was drunk.
Annie screamed, and Jeremy felt something, an irresistible feeling, a feeling to do something, he looked into the room. Annie was lying on the bed, she was naked and her father was on her, intending to rape her. At that moment, Annie's eyes meet with Jeremy's, and he knew what those eyes meant. Her eyes were filled tears and agony, with all the sadness and pain, the most innocently beautiful eyes he had ever seen, how could he ever thought of hurting her. "Helppppppp meeee" she cried. And seeing Annie's eyes her father looked at the door. This was time to do something, this was time to.....he thought and without wasting any time, he busted into the room. "You motherfucker." He shrieked at the old man and punched him in the face. Before her father could do anything, he took his knife and with all his energy pierced it in his flesh 3 times until he died. Then he realized what he had done, and a feeling like someone was patting him on his back overcome him, a feeling of accomplishment. He was aware that Annie was still lying on the bed naked but this time he didn't want to do anything, he didn't want to see her like that, he looked at her clothes lying on the floor. He picked them up and threw at the bed without looking at her. "You should wear them" he said in a hushed voice. Annie took the clothes and ran from the room. He just sat there, he didn't know for how long, gazing at the dead body, thinking to himself, it was worth it.

"So your father used to abuse you, was he your real father?" Annie nodded as the cop asked her. She was sitting on the chair beside Jeremy in the police station.
"Yes, he was. And he was continuously raping me since my mother died, he beat me, tortured me" she started crying. Jeremy moved uneasily in his chair seeing her cry. His heart moved. "What was i supposed to do, where would i run to, i have nowhere to go, he was a monster, that despicable man."
"And Mr. Jeremy, it's clear that what you did was to save her, you did with good intentions, i applaud you for that. But i don't understand one thing, what were you doing in her house at that time with a knife."
Jeremy took a deep sigh "I..." But before he could say anything Annie interrupted him "I called him, he is a friend, you see, and i called him just before my father came. I must have left the door open, so he came inside and he must have picked up the knife from the kitchen hearing voices, he killed him defending me. He is my hero." She looked at him, Jeremy hid his face guiltily. Did she know his real intentions of coming into the room.
Cop looked at Jeremy as though reading his mind, when his voice came back "I was not able to see what was happening to her, it made me do what i did, whatever i am proud that i saved her life, that filthy man deserved to die." Annie looked at him smiling.

They both were standing outside the station, when Jeremy said "I am..." Annie again cut him "Don't say anything, i know why you were there. I know that this day would come when you would break into my apartment. But now i am sure even if you did break into my apartment at maybe some other day when my father wasn't raping me, you wouldn't have done it. You know why, 'cause deep down inside you are a good man. Seems like you needed someone to tell you that" She smiled at him. Jeremy looked at her, and now he could see how beautiful was she, not only from outside but from inside too. "Sometimes we just judge people wrongly, seeing them we tend to take actions that are inhuman. And sometimes circumstances made us to do some things that we don't want to do. It was not your fault, it's natural. I think it's important to know a person from inside rather than seeing his or her from outside. It was not only you, it was me too.I also thought you were some sick man who was trying too... lets leave it, what would you say about a dinner?"
"What..." Jeremy wasn't ready about this unexpected question. No girl in his life has ever asked him that question.
"Dinner, what about tonight, i will knock on your door at 8, what do you say?"
"Sure...and i am sorry"
She smiled. She hesitated for a second and then kissed him on his cheek "Thank you, Jeremy."
Annie turned and left smiling. Jeremy mouthed the words "Thank you" but his voice failed him, and again he felt the same feeling that he felt before looking at her but now it was not in his pants, but was in his heart.