Wifely Observation

The other day, as I was greeting my sweet Bug after work, my other sweetie came in the kitchen.  I noticed something about his shirt.  It was on backwards.  Clearly on backwards.  It was a T-shirt, so it wasn't like a button up, or a collared shirt . . . then I wouldn't be telling you this story.  I would be getting him some brain scans before my insurance hike.  Anyway, something else stood out about the shirt.  What was it??

Oh yes!!  That was the same shirt I had accidentally placed on the hanger backwards because AJ had snagged the toilet plunger and was plunging his face and head with it!!  I had to just jam the shirt on and run!

Gross!  I had to disinfect his face immediately.  Lysol wipes to the skin tend to burn a bit, especially in tender areas.  I know this because I accidentally used one when giving a urine sample as a "cleansing" wipe.  As I was peeing, I then noticed the big red circle with the line through it over the picture of a butt.  The front was all in Spanish.  I remember thinking, "Hmmm.  No butt?  I wonder what that means?  Don't put them on your . . . wow, that is really starting to . . . YIKES!  BURN!  BURN!"  That was quite a mistake.  They shouldn't place those in a restroom where people give urine samples.  Some people may not examine the warnings before cleansing . . . um, obviously.

So yes, see, I had hung the shirt on the hanger backwards.  I don't DO that.  My closet is organized.  There are ZONES.  Shirt zones, pant zones, shoe zones.  Zones are faced and hung MY way.  My hangers MATCH.  I even place dryer sheets on the hangers to keep my clothes and closet smelling fresh.  Aaron must trust the way I put the shirt on the hanger and put it on that way.  Wow!  What pressure.  If I mess up, he will dress backwards.  So, I test my prediction like any good scientist.  I put another shirt on a hanger backwards.



Aaron has a lot of shirts.  Some of them, I try to hide in the End Zone (the back of an area near clothes that don't get worn).  That doesn't work, usually.  This time I chose a similar shirt.  An Old Navy Tagless T-shirt.  I think the lack of tag plays a role in the backwards confusion.  It still says "Old Navy, Size M", but when you know your shirts face a certain way 99% of the time, why look for a tag or print?



It took almost a week for my prediction to be proven.  He came out with the shirt on backwards.

"Hey, your shirts on backwards,"  I said casually.

"Huh?  Oh!"  He did the pull the arms in and twist maneuver.

I thought about ways to help him, like switching all the shirts to backward, telling him about my hypothesis and confirmed prediction . . . but then I realized all the things I do without even thinking- just expecting it.  He goes way above and beyond doing laundry.  He makes stew for the dogs that guests think is leftovers and eat for lunch.  He keeps Bug's and my drinks of choice well stocked (Organic DHA 2% Milk, Iced Tea, and Peach Margarita respectively).  He makes Maggie oatmeal or Cream of Wheat for breakfast.  He does all the yard work.  He cooks 90% of our meals.  He grocery shops.  He cleans (except the bathroom- another of my OCD areas).  He drives everywhere.  He loves my family as much as I do.  He pretends to be a customer at AJ's drive-thru and uses Costco coupons to buy plastic Fee Fies and cookies.

"I probably put it on the hanger backwards.  Sorry!  I think AJ was plunging his face or something."

"It's okay, I don't know why I do that."

I do.  But I'll make a real honest effort not to make him do it again.  Unless he really deserves it . . .