Affairs and Ambiance

Affairs and Ambiance

I couldn't see anything in there
Not a glimpse of light from ambiance,
Or glare from the moon.

I couldn't see it, but it saw me.
It was behind me
But it made no sound.

The paranoia suffocated me for a while
Until I managed to escape
It wasn't an easy escape.

Maybe it was there all along
And I couldn't see it.
Couldn't feel it.
Couldn't fight it.

It's over now
And I am breathless.
The sun streaming into my focus
Sending away the clouds and fog.

The sun blinded me but it warmed me.
Giving me a temporary lapse of pain
But a longer moment of comfort.
I savoured it, for I didn't know when it would come again.

It's been a year and three months
Since you left me.
Or did you leave me?

The constant weight of your memory nags me.
Thats me, almost.
I shouldnt've left you
But fate deals us things we all refuse to learn from.

I am free from you now, physically, emotionally?
But your face, your black hair
Has one last place in my heart to travel
Until I demolish every last thought of you.

That's how it happens
And with me, it's almost certain.
I have to forget you
And I can't ever be near you.

That's selfish Time for you
And it is not a healer.