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Rated: E · Article · Emotional · #1766951
My motivational force
Over the course of my life, I've always felt like "The Lost One"...nobody knew what direction I was going in; nobody particularly cared, for that matter. Most were extremely quick, however, to point out regardless of what was transpiring in "John's World", it was wrong. It was extremely difficult growing up to hear, on a consistent basis, how "wrong" you were...and how "wrong" you were always going to be!
I spent most of my adulthood proving THEM wrong!!!

The events taken place two years ago have redefined my course. A house burning down; all sole possessions damaged and lost. The "average Joe" would have completely crumbled and felt inconsolably helpless. But ironically, the weekend of the fire, was also the same weekend a massive earthquake hit China...killing thousands of people. And those who weren't killed, had no home to live in, no job to go to and no stores to shop at. Life wasn't so bad for me now, was it? Sure, my house and everything I owned is still smoldering in the background as I sat on the front steps of a charcoal remnant, but at least I still had a job to work, and Target was right up the street. Let's go get a new toothbrush!!! In the days to follow, I would be inundated with packages from friends, coworkers and family to help get through the tragedy. Only to be blindsided again!

Three weeks after that, my best friend, my confidant, my father, passes away. The iconic figure of a man, once the pillar of strength and conviction, will and determination, lay in a hospital bed 40 miles away. Still struggling with insurance companies, contractors and rebuilding plans, I manage to find the time to venture out for a visit or two, hoping for a more positive spin on his condition. His roller coaster illness always managed to take him for a wild ride...he would get sick...he would get better....then sick again...then better again. Traveling back and forth to check on him, then begin the rigors of rebuilding a house, while trying to maintain not only my job, but most importantly my sanity, sent me into auto-pilot mode. With him making the final call, the final decision...his roller coaster ride ended, and he got off.

The auto-pilot mode kicked into high gear. Funeral planning...done! House prepping, tag sale, paperwork and moms finances in order...done! Relocate mom to Florida...done. All, while at the same time, rebuilding my own life...our home, furniture, pick out paint colors, carpet vs. hardwood, stainless steel appliances or not? The saga was never ending, but at the same time, I was numb and impervious to it all. Just going with the flow. Getting things done and making sure they were done RIGHT!

Reflecting on all of the above mentioned doesn't take much. Really, it's not difficult when speaking from experience and most importantly, from the heart. Those two major life events propelled me to where I am today: A Respiratory Therapist, a Clinical Product Specialist, a Territory Manager, a Justice of the Peace, a Republican Town Committee Chairman and member of the Board of Directors of the Connecticut Society of Respiratory Care. But lest not forget, also a husband, a father, a son, a uncle, a friend, a coworker, a neighbor...the list is endless.

I don't do ALL of these things for self-recognition or glorification. I do it all because the recent events in my life have awoken a spirit. A spirit whose previous destination was unknown...the "Lost One". But the purpose now, has so much more meaning! My chosen profession has allowed me so much in regards to personal growth, the value of human life and the amazement and wonder of the strength and vitality of the human body! My profession defines me in the sense that it provided me a direction. Witnessing life, death and every thing in between allows you to put things into a greater perspective. Playing an active role in either helping others get better, or ending their misery, is truly and eye opening experience. And most of all...I WAS GOOD AT IT!

I am involved in my town on a political level, not because of politics, but more for the sake of caring about where I live. Remember, I had nothing. POOF! 10 minutes of being away from home, just to get a phone call saying the house is on fire. The sad part is...others are not involved for the common good. They are involved more for the self-righteousness, glorification and self-recognition. I don't need recognition to know that I am having an impact on not only my community, but most importantly, on those who LIVE in this community. Yes, as a registered Republican, we are outnumbered "politically" by the Democrats on a 3-1 ratio. But it remains disheartening to really open the eyes and realize how many really have no desire to give back to their community by getting involved. Sometimes I wonder, why fight the battle? Nobody else cares...why should I!

I fight the battle, because somebody has to. I fight the battle because I care. I fight the battle because I've seen (and lived) the alternative. I do what I do, NOT for self-glorification; NOT for recognition or rewards. I fight the battle because until my last breath, this is MY roller coaster ride. I haven't decided to get off yet!!!!
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