Translating Ann Hathaway

          Love and Other Drugs had rocketed Ann Hathaway to naked pin-up fame.
    Had she known that the Lizard men control the media; she might have reconsidered.
    Now she was strapped to a picnic bench with mayonnaise and mustard poured over her naked body.
    The Lizard men waited for the dinner triangle to be rung. Then, they could devour her.
    They paced about her licking their faces with long red tongues. "Just a God dawn minute!" she snapped,
    "I'm not a meal. I'm an entertainer." Her voice quavered as the Lizard men chuckled.
    She broke down in tears, "You know I have people, who will be looking for me!"

          Suddenly, Angelina Jolie stepped forward. "Hi. I should say yummy! You've really been working out."
      Angelina's tongue came out. It was as long as a Lizard man's. She licked Mrs. Hathaway all over.
      "You bitch! Your not getting my parts!" Ann struggled at the nylon rope. Angelina chuckled and slapped
      Miss Hathaway's mound and then she raised the triangle from her purse. It rang out.
      The wood picnic bench dripped with regal Hollywood blood. Ann didn't have a chance to scream.
      "A gorgeous feast!" Angelina toasted with Chablis; "I always have wine with my meat. It cleanses the pallid"
      "Hah! You are a magnificent predator." a Lizard man toasted.

          "Well, this is one way to eliminate the competition." Angelina smiled and swallowed Ann's tongue.
      "We should have a new meal tomorrow. There is a lot of up and coming talent." a Lizard man laughed.
      "Let's not be too greedy. Remember, never stampede the herd." Angie hugged him and licked his face.
      It was a private affair and a great sport for the true predator.

      It was their fault that no one had told them the real function of entertainment was to be hunted and
      need be eaten. The peasant is always restless and thirst for more sensational distractions from
      their meanual existence. The elite are no different except in their limitless appetite.
      Angelina put on her human mask and made her way home.

      999