Mosquito Theology

A genre which is not included in the WDC listings is Fable. A fable is usually thought of as a story about animals which is meant to make a point about human behavior. The most famous fables are those told by Aesop, which had simple morals, but other more modern fables such as Animal Farm and Watership Down had more complex ideas behind them. This story is supposed to be of that type.

Mosquito Theology

The day before the church picnic it rained heavily, but on the day of the picnic it was a fine sunny day. "Praise the Lord!" said Meghan with a happy laugh as she helped set up the chairs in the field being used for the picnic.

"Indeed," said Pastor Phil. "Days like today can make a man forget about the dog."

"What dog?" asked Meghan.

"That new puppy we bought. She keeps chewing on everything and this morning she snapped me on the leg. I'm going to have her put to sleep."

"Pastor?" said Meghan giving him a hug. "I know you better then that. You would never do such a thing."

"Well, maybe," he confessed.

There was a silence, but then Pastor Phil cried out, "Ow!"

"What?" asked Meghan startled.

"First the dog, now the bugs," said the Pastor rubbing his arm with a sigh.

"You know, that's right," said Meghan. "With all the rain we've had recently, the mosquitoes are probably coming out in droves today."

"Oh wonderful!" said Pastor Phil sarcastically. "And we were just praising the lord for such a perfect day!"

* * *

On that day, a mosquito named Charlang was paying a visit to his old mentor, Gargo.

"My dear chap," said Gargo, "come in! Come In! You know I am always happy to hear from you." He began pumping two of Charlang's three right legs. (That is a common practice with mosquitoes. They can shake hands formally with only one right apendage the way a man can, but when they wish to greet one another enthusiastically they use two of the three right apendages thus leaving themselves only one right leg to stand on. This can make balancing difficult and is therefore only reserved for one's best friends.)

"Thank you," said Charlang having a seat in Gargo's somewhat cluttered office. It was exactly the way he remembered it being when he was a divinity student.

Now then," said Gargo. "I think this calls for something special. I've been saving this," and he pulled out a few fragments of egg shell.

"Is that?" asked Charlang with astonishment.

"The shell of the egg which I hatched from. In fact, it's the last of it."

Charlang was touched for a few reasons. For one thing, a male mosquito treasures the egg from which he hatched all his life and only eats pieces of it on rare occasions. If, he offers to share some of it with another male, that is a sign of intimate friendship. Further, he only finishes his egg when he expects to die soon.

"So," said Charlang as he bit into the shell which was quite tasty. "You don't expect to be around much longer."

"Nah, I'm old," said Gargo matter-of-factly, "I'm old. But I can't complain. It's been a good life. I've mated twenty-three times. My spawn are everywhere." He paused to meditate on the point. "But enough about me. What about you? You're married now, aren't you? How do you like that?"

"As well as can be expected," said Charlang.

"Hmmm. That bad, huh?" said Gargo.

"Very funny," said Charlang. "Actually, it's all pretty good except that recently we haven't been able to find much blood. That can make a woman into a raving lunatic."

"True," said Gargo. "I could never understand the appeal of drinking blood."

"You may as well try to understand what it's like to be pregnant, but you know the old joke-- 'When your wife doesn't get any blood-'"

"You don't get any." Gargo finished for him. "Ah well. I think the swarm is getting close to some blood soon, so I wouldn't worry about it."

Charlang nodded. Then he sighed. "Sir, did you ever have trouble believing?"

"Believing what? In God?"

"In God. In Satan. In how Satan tempted the first female mosquito to sin and how she tempted her husband to sin too, so God drove them out of the Garden of Eden."

Gargo laughed. "How can you not believe that? For one thing, it's the only reasonable explanation, I've heard, for why females need to drink blood. It was God's way of punishing the woman. Plus the rest of the story explains how everything else was created. God showed mercy on Eve and so created all kinds of animals and creatures called humans which would have plenty of blood for the females. As long as God is with us, we will always have enough blood.

"I suppose," said Charlang nodding.

* * *

"I don't understand," said Pastor Phil rubbing his legs which by now had several bites on them. "Sometimes they almost make me question my faith."

"What Mosquitoes?" asked Meghan. "Don't be silly. For one thing there are much worse things in the world. As we speak, Japan is becoming radioactive and. . "

"Yes," I know said Pastor Phil, "but with wars, plagues, earthquakes you can always find a purpose if you search hard enough. If nothing else, it brings the population down."

The Pastor sighed and became thoughtful.

"But what sort of loving God would create mosquitoes?