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My entry into a somewhat dubious contest |
Round 3 Darcy sat at her desk and sighed. There were so many problems involved with being a bride, not the least of which was that her mother was insisting on a cake with vanilla bean icing and Darcy herself was not so sure that that was the best option. She was still trying to decide whether to just let her mother have her way or insist that it was her day when her cell phone rang. "Hello?" "Darcy, I'm in trouble," said a familiar voice. "Erin? I'm glad you called. I have something important to ask you." "Well? Can it wait, because what I have to say is pretty--" Darcy interrupted. "Would you rather wear a pink or blue bridesmaid dress?" "What? You can't be serious, I just escaped from being kidnapped." Darcy's jaw dropped open. "That does sound more important then what I was doing," she admitted. "Who kidnapped you?" "It was one of your father's people." "What? Are you sure?" "Quite sure. He handcuffed me and threw me into his car. Then he drove me out into the woods. When I asked him why anyone would do this, he said, 'nothing against you, dyke, but the old man can't have a daughter who's a lesbian so he's getting rid of her girlfriend." "Good heavens!" said Darcy. "That was so unneccessary! How did you escape?" "Well, being a lesbian has its advantages, sometimes. You see, on the way there, I said, 'You can't blame me, can you? Darcy is so beautiful. '" "What good did complimenting me do you?" "Well, he agreed, and then I started describing some of our more fun escapades together in vivid detail. It gave him a huge bulge in his pants." "You whore," said Darcy with admiration. "By the time we got deep enough in the woods, and he told me to get out, I said 'Well, at least, I'm dying in these woods. I love it here. You know Darcy and I used to come hiking here a lot and sometimes if we thought nobody was watching, we'd-' "Then, he said 'That's enough. Are you ready to die?' "And I said, 'I've always wanted to die naked in the woods. I don't suppose you could uncuff me long enough to let me take off my clothes?'" "He was not that stupid," said Darcy incredulously. "Oh yes, he was," insisted Erin. "He uncuffed me and I took off my clothes. By the time I was finished, the bulge in his pants had grown huge. So I took a deep breath and kicked him right in that bulge as hard as I could. He doubled over and I jumped into the car which still had the keys in it and drove back to the road, but I was still naked so I had to drive very carefully, and--" "Wait, I'm confused," said Darcy. "Why did you take off your clothes anyway? Why not just kick him the minute you were uncuffed?" "Oh," said Erin in an embarrassed voice. "I guess you've got a point." Darcy sighed. "And like I said, this entire episode was so unneccessary." "What do you mean?" "I just now convinced my father not to have you whacked." "What? How did you do that?" "The message must not have gotten through to his underlings." "How did you do it?" Darcy sighed. She didn't want to say this. "I agreed to marry a man." Erin sounded stunned. "You can't be serious." "I'm very serious. And I want you to be the maid-of-honor." That made stop sound less stunned and more just plain angry. "I can't be your maid-of-honor. For one thing, I'm your girlfriend. For another thing, your family just tried to have me killed." "Couldn't you just forget about that for a moment? I need you to make an important decision. Do you want to wear a pink dress or a blue dress?" Round 1 Erin could not believe it. Actually, she thought as she strode into the Lady's room, she could not believe several things. She could not believe that Darcy was getting married to a man. She could not believe that she was the Maid of Honor. She could not believe that she was wearing a pink bridesmaid's dress. As she pushed into the stall and closed the door behind, her she could not believe how difficult it was to sit on a toilet while wearing a pink bridesmaid's dress. Oh well. One thing she couldn't help feeling happy about was Darcy in her wedding dress. It was white, which may have been a little inappropriate given Darcy's history, but Darcy with her beautiful flowing blonde hair and piercing blue eyes looked absolutely stunning in it. As Erin slid up her dress, she realized that the thought of Darcy had given her a slight twitch in her pubic area. She loved that feeling and only Darcy's long and dainty fingers could really give it to her. Well, maybe she would make do. She began massaging her clitoris while picturing Darcy. It wasn't as good as when Darcy did it, but it was still really great. She began rubbing harder and harder until finally she felt herself climaxing, and without realizing it, she gave out a loud yell. Then, she stopped, because there was definitely someone moving around outside the stall. There was a knock on the stall door and she tried not to choke. "Erin?" called a familiar voice. "Is that you?" It was Darcy's voice. Without waiting for a response, the door opened and Darcy stood there before her. "I thought that sounded like you in there." "What are you doing in here?" asked Erin nervously. Darcy smiled in that cool way that she had of smiling. "Even brides need to shit, Erin. The real question is what are you doing in here." Before Erin could reply, Darcy held up a dainty finger and said with another cool smile, "actually, I think I can tell what you're doing. But don't you think doing it at a wedding where you're the maid of honor, no less, is not exactly classy?" Erin smiled a little too. "I figure I'd better start practicing. Now that you're married, I'm going to be doing it a lot." Now Darcy looked a little bit sorry for her. "You do know," she said, "that I'm doing it mainly for you." "Yeah," admitted Erin. Now Darcy tried to lighten the mood a little bit. "Here I am getting married to a man that I don't love at all, and I'm pretending to be happy about it just for you. What do you ever do for me?" "I'm wearing a pink dress in public for you." "Oooh, touche." They both laughed, and Darcy opened her arms for a hug, "Come here." The two first hugged, then pecked each other on the cheek, and then locked lips which gave Erin that wonderful feeling which she could only get from having Darcy's tongue in her mouth. The two were so happy that they forgot that the door to the stall was still open. So it came as something of a shock when a small voice said, "Hey, what are you doing, Aunt Darcy?" Both women turned around and saw the flower girl, Nancy standing there. "I really have to go," said Nancy. Round Two Alarm bells were going off in Erin's head, but Darcy somehow still looked cool. "Nancy, you need to understand," said Erin. "This isn't what you think it is." "Oh," said Nancy, "what is it?" Erin glanced at Darcy but she just shrugged. Erin decided to try a different tack. "You're a girl scout, aren't you, Nancy?" "Yeah, so?" And Darcy looked puzzled too. "Well, what your Aunt Darcy and I were doing in here was kind of like girl scout camp for grownups." "It is?" asked Darcy. "Yeah, you know how you go to camp because you want to do things without any yucky boys around." "I guess," said Nancy. "Well, Darcy and I just came in her because we wanted to have some fun where no boys are allowed. It's like when you took showers together at girl scout camp, and sometimes you'd pat each other on your behinds because they were so cute and wet. And you'd giggle and laugh, so the scout leader would have to come in and make sure you were getting clean, but sometimes she couldn't resist the fun, so she'd give you a little kiss on the behind or may even stick her fingers up the place where your poop comes out of. Erin realized that she was rather enjoying this description herself. Perhaps that was why she did not notice that there was a look of horror on Nancy's face. "We never do anything like that at girl scout camp. You're sick." Then she ran out of the bathroom. "Well, you have a way with words," said Darcy. "I'm sorry," said Erin, "but I thought-" "For the record, I don't think I ever did anything like that when I was a girl scout either." Erin struggled to her feet."I'd better go catch her before she tells someone." "Makes sense," said Darcy quietly. Erin dashed out of the restroom so quickly that she ran into a waiter who was carrying a hors dourve tray. "Oh dear, I'm sorry. Have you seen the flower girl?" The waiter picked himself up. "I think she went that way." Erin looked in the direction he was pointing. Nancy had indeed gone in that direction and she was by the wedding cake. Worse, she was standing near a man which Erin recognized as David, the groom. She rushed forward. David had been having a conversation with his grandfather. It was actually a rather one-sided conversation as all conversations with his grandfather tended to be. "I'm just saying," said his grandfather, "when bride and groom can get all the fucking they want from each other, it's great. . ." "Grandpa, your language." ". . .But sometimes they need a little more fucking, and that's why an affair might actually be good for a marriage." "Grandpa, you do realize that you're at my wedding? Oh and look. . ." David noticed that Nancy had wandered over to them. "How are you, sweetheart?" he asked hoping it would make his grandfather change the subject. "What's an affair?" asked Nancy. David turned red and looked at his grandfather. "Are you happy?" "What?" asked the grandfather. "The kid's gonna learn that sometime, right." David sighed and turned back to Nancy. "An affair is when someone who is married gets together with someone that they're not married to and has. . .carnal knowledge of them." Nancy looked puzzled. "What's carnal knowledge?" "It means they have sex," said Grandpa. David turned red again, but Nancy brightened. "I get it now." "You do?" "Sure, Aunt Erin was just in the bathroom having an affair with--" Erin leaped out of the crowd and tackled Nancy. The two tumbled face forward into the wedding cake. For a long moment, Erin did nothing. Then she turned over, tried to wipe some of the icing from her face, and looked around. She was surrounded by wedding guests. Some were astonished, some were laughing, and some were eagerly flashing their cameras, but the first person which Erin made eye contact with was Darcy who had slowly strolled over to the site and was now standing nearby with her arms folded and an almost unreadable expression on her face. Finally, after a long silence, Darcy walked up to Erin, bent over and used one of her dainty fingers to wipe some icing from Erin's ear, and licked it. This made her sigh. "My mother is always right." Erin didn't understand. "Huh?" "We should have gotten vanilla bean icing instead of this." Round 4 The soccer game was not going very well for the ladybugs. Nancy was the goalie and she had already let three goals go. Her Aunt Darcy and Uncle David sat in the bleachers and watched the game with sad expressions on their faces. They hardly noticed when Erin arrived. "Hey, sorry I'm late." Darcy frowned. "What are you doing here at all?" "Darcy, be nice," admonished David. "Yeah," said Erin. "Besides Nancy invited me to the game." "Oh?" said Darcy. "Exactly how long ago was that?" "Uh. . .I don't know. Maybe a couple of weeks." "Let me rephrase the question. When it happened was I married or single." "Single." Erin admitted. "Right, so it was before the day that you pushed Nancy face first into a cake at my wedding. Did it occur to you that that might have rescinded the invitation?" Just then there was another cry from the field. They all looked and saw that Nancy had given up another goal. After the excitement had died down, David tried to break the ice. "Well, it looks like this is going to be a sad enough day without us arguing. Let's try and get along. How have you been Erin?" "Oh great," said Erin with joy she didn't feel, "I'm glad somebody here still likes me." Darcy put up her hand. "David does not like you. He's just glad you're here, because he figures that if he were alone with me, I might start complaining about how lousy he was in bed." Erin looked at David who was red in the face. Finally, she sighed. "Look, in case you didn't realize it, the crazy things that happened weren't completely my fault." "What?" said Darcy half-sarcastically. "You mean when a girl gets into a lesbian relationship, agrees to get married just to save her girlfriend's life, and then asks that same girlfriend to be her maid-of-honor, she shouldn't expect her life to be storybook perfect?" Erin was about to retort that that was exactly what she meant when there was another loud shot from the crowd, because Nancy had given a fifth goal. The coach, a thirtyish blonde woman, was berating Nancy in a loud voice. "You know," said Erin trying change the subject, "that coach is kind of sexy." "Really?" said Darcy. "Well, then why don't you leave us alone and go see if you can hit on her or something?" "Are you serious?" "Dead Serious. Just get away from us." Erin sighed and walked over to the bench where the coach was now standing. "Um. . .Hi." The coach gave her a dirty look. "Are you one of the parents?" "Er. . .no. I'm just what you'd call a family friend. I'm here with the family of your goalie, Nancy." "Well, then you have my condolences. That kid has no athletic ability whatsoever!" "Maybe, but she's a sweet girl-" "Sweet girls don't win games. I wish we didn't have these damn liberals with their 'everybody has to play' nonsense. Then, I might actually be able to win." Erin's sexual sexual attraction to this woman was evaporating. She tried another tact. "Well, I hope the girls have fun anyway." "The girls are not having fun, thanks to Nancy." Now the coach smiled for the first time. "I imagine they'll make it up to her after the game, though." Erin didn't follow this. "What do you mean?" "Well, I don't know anything about it, because I'm 'the responsible adult', if you know what I mean." "I don't know what you mean--" "Well, we have a little tradition. When one girl does miserably in a game, the other girls give her a little 'discipline' in the locker room." Alarm bells went off in Erin's head. "Do you mean they bully her? You allow that?" "Well, I'm like you, I want the girls to have fun." "But that's not fun for the girl they pick on." "Well, no, but maybe it'll encourage her to play better next time." Erin couldn't believe it. Ever since she and Darcy had got together, she had been fond of Nancy. The thought of her going through such a thing was horrible. The Ladybugs lost the game 26-0. As the girls rushed into the locker room, a figure slipped in behind them. * * * Nancy was in the locker room nervously changing out of her uniform when Hilda, the team captain, approached her. "And what do you think you're doing?" "I was just changing out of my uniform into my clothes?" "Heh. Out of your uniform, yes. Into your clothes, no way." "I don't understand--" "Strip naked, we want to see your bare ass." The other girls all laughed. Nancy felt scared. "Come on. I don't want to." "You don't want to?" said Hilda in a nasty voice. "We didn't want to lose the game today, but we did anyway. Life is full of unfairness, bitch." Then she called to another girl, "Is the camera rolling." "Sure," called the other girl. Now, Nancy was even more scared. "Camera?" "Of course," said Hilda. "That's the good part for you. You're going to be a Youtube star. Now strip." Nancy knew that she couldn't fight with all of these girls, so while trying to fight back tears, she pulled off her top and her shorts. She optimistically paused in the hope that they wouldn't make her remove her underwear, but Hilda said, "You're not finished," so Nancy took a deep breath and removed that too. Then the other girls laughed and took turns slapping her on the breasts, the rear and the genitals. By that point, Nancy was so close to tears that she almost didn't see the figure step into the room behind Hilda. Hilda must not have noticed it either until the figure grabbed her by the ponytail and pulled hard. "Ow!" cried Hilda. "Who the hell--" "Ooh, sorry," said a familiar voice. "My name's Erin. I would say that I'm pleased to meet you, but who am I kidding?" Hilda tried to be tough. "Well, what are you, this girl's bodyguard?" Erin tugged harder on Hilda's ponytail. Hilda screamed louder and her face turned red. "Now," said Erin letting go of her, "why don't you start by apologizing to Nancy?" "I'm sorry," Hilda mumbled. "Good, now put your clothes on Nancy. I'll take you home." But before Nancy put her clothes on, she couldn't resist giving her "aunt" a hug. "Great," said Nancy, "at least you're happy to see me again." Round 5 Erin sat under the bleachers and sighed. She didn't quite know what she was doing there, but since the soccer game yesterday, she had felt the need to be alone. In a way, it seemed odd that she had come back to this soccer field, but since it was Sunday and there was no game going on, it felt like a good place to be alone. It was a beautiful day, but she still did not understand how her life had ended up this way. Suddenly, there was a loud bark and Erin was surprised to see a small beagle puppy come bounding up to her and begin licking her. Well, she thought with a laugh, you are friendly. The puppy did not seem to care. It licked her face, her neck, and seemed intent on licking the cleavage which was showing through her t-shirt. It was kind of sexy in a way. "I hope you're a bitch," she said to the dog. "I don't normally let males suck my tits." "Hey, Sniffy. There you are!" The voice was familiar and Erin was astonished to see Nancy come running towards her. When she got there, Nancy looked just as surprised. "Erin!" she said and then threw herself into Erin's arms. The hug lasted a full minute. Then Nancy said, "Erin, My parents say that you're a sexual deviant. Is that true?" Erin sighed. "Do you even know what a sexual deviant is?" "Not really." "Well, netither do I, so I can't very well tell you if I am one." She decided to try changing the subject, "So how's soccer?" "I think I'm going to quit soccer." "I think that's a good idea," said Erin giving her a loving pat, "So now that you're not going to the women's world cup, what are your plans for the future." "I'm entering the young inventor's competition." "Really. What are you going to invent." "I'm testing it right now," said Nancy with pride. "It's a dog butt-plug that I made for Sniffy." "What?" "Sure. I put it in her backside and we don't have to worry about her pooping on the floor. I'll show you." She made a reach for Sniffy's rear end, but the dog suddenly started barking and ran away. "Oh, Sniffy. Come back," cried Nancy running after her. Okay, Erin thought to herself. "She's quite a girl," said another voice and Erin saw that Darcy was walking up to her. Erin gulped because she wasn't sure what to say, but Darcy was smiling. "Hey. Nancy told me about what you did for her yesterday. I don't think we have to worry about my dad trying to whack you off anymore. My entire family likes you, now." "That's good," said Erin. "But when you say your entire family, do you include--?" She was asking if that included Darcy, but Darcy didn't rise to that. "I even include David, but for slightly different reasons. Would you believe I finally managed to unfreeze him last night? Do you know how?" "No, but I have a feeling you're about to tell me." "I told him stories abou the things you and I did together in vivid detail. You wouldn't believe how hot that got him." Actually, Erin could believe it. Why was it that men were so homphobic, but so excited by the idea of lesbians getting it on? "Anyway," Darcy went on. "He liked it so much, that I had a crazy idea. I suggested that we let you come over all the time and maybe you and I could put on a show for him." "What? Are you sick?" "Oh come on. Everyone wins. My parents are happy because I stay married to a man. Dave is happy because he gets to see two lesbian hotties going at it all the time and I'm happy because--" the coolness vanished from Darcy's face as she grabbed Erin around the waist, "because I get to be with the woman I love more then anything in the world." That was all Erin needed to hear. She pressed her lips to Darcy's and the two went to the ground pounding each other with all their clothes on. Darcy was on top of Erin and the two might have had an orgasm right there if they were not suddenly interrupted by Nancy's voice calling, "Come back, Sniffy." Darcy scrambled to her feet in time, but Erin was still lying on her back when the dog ran over and straddled her body. Then, there was a popping sound as something that looked like a plastic cork flew out of the dog's backside and was followed by a gushing of poop which landed in Erin's lap. "Oh Shit," said Erin getting to her feet and looking at Darcy who was trying not to giggle. "Tell your niece that she needs to work on her invention! |