Destined to be a foe

Destined to be a foe



By La Thanh Tung





I was bent over some rice seedlings when a big clod of earth landed nearby with a thud, splashing mud all over me. I raised my head and looked right into angry eyes that seemed to want to eat me up. Trying to contain my anger, and a groundless fear, I asked him in a calm voice: "Why did you do that?"



".... you." He was clearly spoiling for a fight. "You hate me but have no guts to face me, eh? And you are bold enough to strike me on only on the sly."



"What have I done that you have to say such slanderous things?"



"You haven’t done anything, have you? You and I have the same patch of rice field, pay the same money for irrigation, so why have you and your brother prevented water from flowing into my field? Don’t you have any guts? Come up here and fight with me."



I turned and looked at his field. I had no idea when it happened, but there indeed was an embankment preventing the water from flowing into his field. It must have been Lan, my brother. Oh, what a monkey he was! What was the use of doing that? Why did he do such a stupid thing? But not being able to offer any argument, I had to swallow my pride, admit the wrongdoing, and break up the damn embankment. But anger choked by throat.



We are natives of a village that lies right at the wharf on Moi River that buzzes all day with human voices and the sounds of boats going up and downstream.



He was of my age, son of hunchbacked Nhieu, wife of a war martyr. He was very special. Lan and I both were good looking, but we were nothing compared to him. Was it because our parents now lived with their daughter in the south, leaving the field completely in our hands, that we turned out to get a bad name as loafers? I don’t really know, but in his eyes, we were both fops.



Actually I had never intended to show any dislike or play any practical joke on him, and I had no idea why he was always truculent towards me. And strangely enough, he was always in the right, making me somehow see my drawbacks, as though the reasons fell from the sky. Being inferior in both looks and strength, I had time and again tried to be friendly, but it never seemed to last long. It seemed that the way I expressed my intentions was clumsy, or maybe there was too big a difference in our spiritual world that would not let us get close to each other. I just could not find any reason that would explain this frozen relationship. So between us, sometime, somewhere, a conflict arose that was extremely difficult to reconcile - a conflict that would have been nothing if it had happened between me and any other person. I was always inferior to him, and he always played by the rules and I did not. He either pardoned me disdainfully, or would beat me black and blue. It was strange that behind his back, people always showed their disgust, had some disagreement with him, and clearly sympathised with me. But when things happened, nobody would dare take my side. Finally I came to believe my friend’s contention that it was fated and unavoidable that he was my foe.



It was about six months after the incident in the rice field, and I was in high spirits as I returned home from Nu’s house, when I saw some policemen taking him away with his hands tied behind his back. A strange pain rose in my chest. That served you right, son! Why have you done? You’ve bullied me so much, now eat dust! I almost jumped for joy like a mad man at the sight of my fated, unavoidable foe in trouble.



Yet out of the blue, an idea was born in my head. If I were to show my elation at his mishap, what would happen to me the day he was released and returned home? It would become impossible to salvage the situation. And I would lose forever the chance to make peace with him, and would become his fated, unavoidable foe. The very thought evoked a fear inside me that evaporated all the happiness of having been with Nu that evening and the elation of seeing him in trouble. Now or never, I should show him that I was a noble man. I should prove to him an adverse truth. I could even become his best friend ever. The thought spurred me into action. I rushed at the policemen.



"What are you doing? I protest.... I protest...."



"Eh? You! What the hell do you think you are doing?" A policeman who seemed to be the senior pushed me aside, saying: "Let us do our duty, just go away".



"But why do you arrest such an honest man?" I was shouting aloud. "What mistake did he make? I don’t believe it".



"If you don’t believe it, please go to the office of the People’s Committee with us" - the youngest of the policemen taking him said. "We have to arrest and punish trouble makers and law breakers".



Oh I see, you’re a trouble maker, a law breaker! So from now on don’t expect to turn up your face arrogantly. Joy exploded in my heart like fireworks. Yet, I had contain my emotions and carry out my plan of action.



"What, what do you mean - making trouble and breaking the law? Please don’t make such allegations against an honest man. He’s the best man among my friends, the kindest man in the area. He is a bright example for us to learn from. He is...."



I lost my head, stammering, saliva dripping from my mouth as I sang his praises. Then the action extended to beyond words, as I grappled with the policemen and generally kicked up a big fuss to the complete surprise of the policemen and the culprit. A crowd quickly gathered. This was riveting stuff. In the end, the senior policeman had to use his martial art skills to throw me to the side of the road. "Please, keep detain this accomplice, so that we can take away the criminal," he pleaded to the onlookers. So the crowd rushed in to grab me, preventing me from rushing towards the policemen again as they took him away. Struggling away from the crowd, I caught a sight of his downcast face. I was so happy, so satisfied. From now on I could be assured about the future of our relationship. I could sleep soundly at nights, and finally get rid of his predestined hatred for me.



My joy was redoubled when Nu agreed to let me invite my family over to her place to talk about our wedding. She said: "No, there’s no need to beg and make promises. I’ll be your wife on two conditions".



"Okay. What are the conditions?" I was so excited that I dared not take her hand. "Please tell me. I’ll carry you on my shoulders and run round the village".



"No." She gave a wan smile. In the moonlight, her figure was like a flying cloud. "Nothing like that. You should not work in the field, you have to shift to another job. Whatever it is, it is up to you."



"Oh, God! I was intending to do that anyway. It is a lot of hard work indeed". I was bold enough to fondle her hair as I spoke. "But why do you ask me to do that?"



"Don’t ask for reasons. It’s just my desire".



"All right." - I was on tenterhooks, imagining holding her soft body in my arms. "What about the second condition? Tell me now."



"This is more difficult for you as it has to do with your whole family. But, like the first condition, don’t ask me for reasons. Our first child should take its mother’s family name. What do you think?"



I was dumfounded. Why was it so complicated? This was a condition made by the most beautiful girl in this village before getting married? Even assuming she did not love me, could it be really true that she was not afraid of idle talk by the villagers?



But as one who did not take traditions seriously, I was ready to please her. My Tran clan was a large one with many children and grandchildren, so we did not lack people to carry on the line. On the other hand, Nu’s family had few children, and her father had only two daughters: Nu and her sister.



After the wedding, my brother Lan had to plough the field alone for a few days. I kept my promise to Nu. I bought machines and working tools to open a furniture workshop. It was not the most harmonious of relationships, but we were able to compromise. Nu was with child quickly. But she was reserved and reticent all the time.



One day, she returned from a prenatal examination looking different, but said nothing. At lunch, she said she had a stomach ache, and went into the bedroom to lie down. Naturally, I did not worry much, as it was normal for a pregnant woman. But I was a little curious because she usually went to Mrs. Hanh’s house for a bunch of duckweed to chew whenever she had a stomach ache. Why hadn’t she done that today? Was something worrying her? Was something happening to the baby? Was it normal for a pregnant woman? I was very nervous. When I took a bowl of pho for her, I intended to ask her, but the sight of her weary face stopped me. That afternoon, Lan returned from weeding the field saying rats had destroyed a lot of rice plants. I lost my temper. "Serves you right. I told you to stay at home and do some business, but you are so obstinate".



About two years later, when I’d all but forgotten my damn fated foe, he appeared. Of course, I did not show any sign of fear. I was not chicken-hearted. Nor was I the kind who took advantage of another person’s misfortune. During the 18 months that he was in prison, I had sold to his mother a cupboard and two hundred kilos of sawdust and wood shavings on credit. So when he appeared in front of my shop, I welcomed him. "Hello, Nam. When did you come home? Please come in for a cup of tea."



"I’ve just returned. I’ve got something to tell you".



I cleverly shooed some customers out of the shop and then made tea for him. Fortunately, my wife and her child were now visiting her sister in Hai Phong. He refused the Vinataba cigarette I offered. Instead he lit a Du Lich which was badly burnt. His tone was threatening: "Stop your hypocrisy towards my mother, do you hear? You know, a dog stinks more when it wags its tail".



"What the hell are you saying?" - I tried to control my anger and speak calmly. "I always think good of you....".



".... your thinking good! You arranged to put me into prison, and you dare to speak of ‘thinking good’?".



"I....I...."



"You think I don’t know anything, don’t you? Listen. You’ve often seen me hiding the watering-can in the corner of the co-operative’s pond, so you and your brother poured insecticide into the lake and informed the co-operative, didn’t you?"



"What, I don’t understand what you are saying. I thought the fish died of some disease as soon as they were released into the pond".



"Don’t pretend. Before the day when the fish died, five bottles of insecticide in the co-operative were stolen. No other field in the village used it except the one by the dyke watch’s hut. If I did not do it, who else but you and your brother?"



I opened my mouth wide. Oh God, that day Lan had been so greedy at the low price of the stolen insecticide, and he had bought it and sprayed the field. Now it could land me in trouble with my unavoidable foe. And as always, I could not explain and argue with him. I had to change my tune.



"If it’s true, please sympathise with us. Probably my brother, still a bit wet behind his ears...."



"Either of you, it doesn’t matter. And I don’t mind. I’ve already got the bad name. Actually I did it because I wanted to calm down Nu and make her accept your proposal, don’t you understand?"



A thunderbolt struck me again. So had my wife really loved him? I was the latecomer? Was that why she’d cold-shouldered me at first and then did a sudden turnabout and married me quickly? But why? Why would my unavoidable foe want to leave Nu, the most beautiful girl in the village? And why did Nu keep that cat in the bag, when she was already married to me? Then I thought of the two conditions she’d imposed on me that day. Why did I have give up farming? Why did my first child have to take its mother’s family name? Or was it....



The thought that the child could have been conceived before she became my wife made me dizzy. Unable to contain my bitterness, I said: "So did you eat the snails and asked me to throw away the shells? Oh, that mischievous hog...."



"Good, good. It would have been much better if you’d realised that previously" - He pulled and bade me sit down - "O.K. Be calm. You have not understood anything at all. Listen." I could read the disdain in his words as if it was passed down from a previous existence. Highly vigilant about avoiding a mistake that I was likely to make, I shrugged and listened.



"When Mr. Nguyen left for the South to fight the enemy, he had only one daughter - Nu’s sister. Do you know that? In 1976, he was demobbed, and the clan wanted to have a son to carry on the line. Unfortunately, during his years on the battlefield, he was contaminated with the toxic chemicals sprayed by the US, effectively sterilising him. He did not know that, but my father did. He was in the same army unit as Mr. Nguyen. When father was on R&R, he passed on the information to Mrs. Nguyen because the three were very close friends. Then they discussed if they could give birth to a son for Mr. Nguyen. However, father was killed as he pursued fleeing Pol Pot troops, and it was another daughter -Nu - who was born next. Mrs. Nguyen was disappointed. One day she felt into a slaked lime pit and I was the one who took her to the hospital. She told me the story then. It was fortunate that the fish died that day, or else I would be in big trouble with Nu."



Dumbstruck again, I thought: Was he cheating me? But what was the use of doing that? Indeed, now that I thought of it, my wife’s did resemble his - two thin faces with slanting eyes, drooping mouths which Nu’s sister did not have. So Nu was his sister. My mind was still in a fog, however. But why did he have harbour such a hatred for me, making me constantly fearful. He seemed to understand my doubts. He lit the third or fourth cigarette and fanned the smoke away with his hand.



"I don’t mind you and your brother. But I hated your chicken-hearted character. What kind of a man are you when you always go around with your eyes looking down on the ground, even if you’d supported the enemy. I’d provoked you many times so that you would get angry and become a man, but you were always as dumb as an oyster. Why? Who on earth did you hear saying that I was fated to be your foe? Could we eat each other up? So why have you always fawned over me? This will make you despised by women, didn’t you know that?"



I was silent as he reprimanded and cursed me. He was my wife’s brother. Besides, the old habit of fearing him had not yet died. It was not easy to forget that he’d been an unavoidable foe for years. Yet, I should recognize that I’d been too yielding, and I was determined to show at least some pretended anger: "No, don’t rely on your position as my brother-in-law to sling curses at me. I sold things on credit to your mother because I felt pity that she had to be lonely at her age. Not because I was afraid of you. OK?"



"Yes, your pity for my mother was nothing compared to your wife. She really ordered you to do it, didn’t she? Did she force you to stop farming. Do you know why?"



My mouth was agape again. I had never ventured to ask her. Now my brother-in-law and unavoidable foe was telling me everything.



"Sweet potatoes and rice grains are the fruit of human love for the land. You don’t belong. On the other hand, you always manure the field with fresh dung, making filthy my father’s grave at that corner of the field. Nu bore a grudge against that, you know. But she could not say anything clearer just for fear that you would doubt it."



"So why did my wife ask me to put her family name to my child, brother?" I did not know that I would address him so obediently and call him "brother".



"You can’t understand that, can you? You know that our forefathers always consider the first child in the family very sacred, and you were not held in great regard by Nu. When I tried to evade her, you were patient, so she could not but settle for you."



He stopped and stood up.



"What I’ve said is aimed at helping you know how to behave, but don’t divulge this to anyone, particularly Mr. Nguyen and Nu. She is my sister, and also my friend."



I saw him to the lane, but then another thought struck me. "But why do you know that Nu prohibited me from doing farm work, if you have just come home?"



He made a face. "You’re really a stupid man. Do you think I was actually in prison? I only let the police take me to make Nu see it so that she would no longer look out for me. I was easily able to prove my innocence. Then I went to work in the provincial capital city as a helping hand for a mason, and sometimes I visited my mother. The last time I was home, I saw Nu going to have a pre-natal examination, and offered her some money, but she refused it."



"So why don’t you marry someone?" - I found it difficult to be polite.



He smiled. "You could ask your brother Lan about it."



He had slack-jawed me again. Why didn’t I pay enough attention to my pig-headed brother? Was it possible that he had some relation with my brother-in-law?



That afternoon, I got burns on two fingers from the cigarette as I listened dumbfounded to Lan’s story. My brother had been involved in a love affair with Hoa and she was pregnant. They were now in a quandary about settling the situation. Hoa was the niece of cross-eyed Tieu at the crossroads. She had loved my brother-in-law, for quite a long time. However Nam had been away for a long time working on the construction site, so she had let herself be wooed and seduced by Lan, after he treated her several times with pho at the foot of the Teup bridge. I asked Lan if he intended to marry her, and he said: "She looks quite inviting, but she always mistakes me for Nam and calls me by that name, and it annoys me...."



At the time I am telling you this story, Mr. Nguyen and Mrs. Nguyen had departed from this world. Only then did I have the guts to write about what my brother-in-law told me. However, there was no relief. In the afternoon, Nu - my wife - came home crying. "Hoa has fallen down from her bicycle and given birth prematurely. Brother Lan had been pushed down into the river by Nam, forcing him to agree to marry her."



I sprang up to my feet. "Where is brother Nam now?"



Nu handed me a bunch of keys and a piece of paper.



Nam had written: "I am taking a boat up the river to the mountains. Both of you should organise the wedding for Hoa and Lan, and sometimes go to my house and burn some incense for my mother. When I am better off, I’ll come back and tell you something. Thank you"



Even in his letter, his voice still sounded high-handed. Anyway I still felt completely in his power that seemed to be exerted from a previous life, impossible to oppose. Even if our present relationship did not warrant his description as an unavoidable foe, it was still impossible for me to explain his power and authority.



I went to the wharf and looked down at the river. I saw thousands of twinkling waves, some of them rushing in from nowhere, raising their crest and plunging down. Sometimes they bounced in rhythm around some bunches of duckweed with their violet flowers. Still drifting with my thoughts, I could see the strong waves no longer. Where were the rapid waves? Where was the furious unavoidable foe of a man like me?