The return of a soldier

My cell beeps an urgent message; someone is calling my box downstairs from my apartment building. I check my IPhone for missed calls, there aren’t any. I’m confused. I put in my code and accept the person into my building and wait for the knock at the door. I just talked to Alli, she’s all the way in Lancaster with her mom, there’s no way she made it here in an hour. My family would definitely call, and Santiago, well he won’t be home from Atlanta until August. So who the F is about to knock on my door? And why are they taking so long? I’m confused and nervous now.
There’s a heavy knock on my door. Boy, I’m thinking, definitely a man knocking. I’m thinking harder as I walk over to the door, maybe one of my “brothers” on a surprise visit. My list is getting small, I look slowly through the peep hole and there he is, standing almost lazily waiting for me to answer the door, Alejandro. As I grab the handle thoughts of why he could possibly be there began running through my head, the next, when the hell did he get home? As I pull open the door I think how the hell did he know where I live, we’ve never written letters while he was away, I haven’t seen him in almost two years. Alejandra! Damn her! And in those two years, wow has he changed. What hasn’t changed, his eyes, his presence, and neither had that fucking tattoo on his neck. I hate it, the name of his first wife, they’re long divorced now, but still… it’s there. He has changed though.
Once clean shaven, now he’s grown a permanent 5 o’clock shadow in dark wavy hair. His hair is short as usual, stance is the same, but more serious. His muscles seem to have memorized this stance a little after he joined the ARMY years ago. And now he stands in my doorway. I realize I’m staring and embarrassed as I am, I manage to invite him in. As I close and lock the door, I begin to walk behind him. His shoulders are much wider, broader then when I saw him last. He sits down on my black leather couch; I look around for anything, as long as I’m not looking at him. My eyes fall on my kitchen where my wine table stands. Perfect!
“Drink,” I ask him, my voice almost trembling.
“Yeah, sure,” he answered huskily. “What you got?”
“I got Ciroc, Henny, VSOP, Belvedere, Cuervo, and Patron.” I answer him reading off the bottles.
“Damn lush,” he laughed.
“Excuse me but I am an official college grad and most of these bottles are from my graduation party a couple weeks ago. And thanks to this summer so far with your sister these bottles are like half and half.”
“Yeah yeah, you allow her to do it, you know she only listens to you for real,” he laughed with me.
“So what you want?” I ask as I put ice into two glasses. In one I pour the Ciroc and some pineapple juice figuring I’m gonna need a drink for this visit.
“Hennessey is cool, with Coke if you got it.”
“Yeah,” I answered pouring a good amount of Hennessey into the glass followed by the Coke then bring both glasses over to my couch. I sit his on the coffee table and walk back into the kitchen for some pretzels.
“So, when did you get home,” I ask him.
“Yesterday. I flew in and surprised my mom and Alejandra; this is my last vacation before I’m discharged in September.”
“Oh yeah, that’s what’s up. I talked to Alli earlier and she didn’t tell me you came home.”
“I know, I told her not to, I wanted to surprise you,” he said calmly.
​I’m confused again. What is going on? Mysterious visits, Alli hiding news for her brother?
“Why,” I asked him.
“Why,” he laughs, “Because I’ve missed you and I’ve wanted to see you for some time now.”
“But why, Alex we’re on better terms than bad, but we’re not frequent friends, we don’t write, don’t call, don’t communicate whatsoever. I ask about you through Alli every once in the while to make sure you’re okay, but that’s about it, so why?”
“Damita, I’ve been gone a long time. Back and forth for years now, and this last time out, I took a long hard look on my life. I thought about the people in my life, I thought about why they were there, thought about if they were genuine, if they really loved me, or was just bullshitting me. I went down my list and I started removing those in my life that only loved the good, wealthy part of me, not the real and struggling, and ugly person I am. I started with my wife. I loved her, would move mountains for her, but she only loved part of me. Some friends got the same judgment, and as I began to free myself from all their bullshit, I felt lighter; you are the weight I can’t get rid of. I treated you so badly Damita, I can’t even imagine how you feel about me.”
​My head is racing, what is he saying, why is he really here? What does he want forgiveness? Absolution? I can’t give it to him, I haven’t fully let go of the past either. I take a nice gulp of my drink and smile as sincerely as I can.
“I don’t know Alex, I just put you out of my mind. You’re living your life and I’m living mine. We connect at Alli, so I mean I plan on randomly being around you every once in a while it’s just that I didn’t expect you to be standing in my doorway.”
“It’s just, you’re the only girl to ever see me at my worst and still have hope. I’ve never understood that Damita. You had such faith in me, in us, even after fights and break ups and bitches, you always was there, just BAD as shit watching over my baby sister. You handled yourself so well most days given the circumstances that I used to put you in. And I mean yeah you did some crazy shit when it came to Manuela, but I mean she turned out to be the whore you kept calling her, so fuck it right? I don’t know Damita, I just needed to see you.”
​I take another couple of gulps of my drink to give myself time to process what he’s saying. He’s looking right into my eyes, I try to pay attention to something else. He’s tanner than usual. Too long in the sun.
“I’m still confused Alex, you just came home, just missed me so now you’re here to visit?” I ask him still jumbled; my brain is going too fast, trying to process all that he said.
“I’m here to ask you why you believed in me for all those years, I need to know what it was so I can understand you.”
“I can’t explain it more than that I loved you.” I say plainly. It’s the only honest thing that I can think of.