it hink

i think everyone just believes things, because that is how they are raised or thats what they feel are expected to believe. Marc mightwant braces , but he doesn't need them . Just because a dentist is trying to rip him off a couple g's , doesn't mean he has to accept that . God made his teeth the way they are for a reason , and he shouldn't listen to anyone else .

everyone thinks the same as others, why ? just so they can conform into the same person as the other person's beliefs. i dont understand why poeple are so afraid to speak out . its just so hard to actually be listened to , and maybe people dont even say the point .

a boy questioned me in class today , with grandiloquent style , and i didn't like it . i appolagized, but i really should of ignored him . i know that if i ignored him , it would have made him more pissed off .

i love pisssing people off , its a hobby . people think too much about too little , and it affects them . its their faults. they let the littlest things bother them ,, and its ridiculous.


i like being an outcast ya know, i feel as though i can say whatever i want . i can say that i hate cheerleaders, but they cant ,, right? propbably not . they all must talk behind eachother's little blonde heads , about how fat cindy's thughs are . but they all still like me , i dont understand why . they must think im funny , or somehting like that. their all the same though , i dont know why guys are inlove with them.

i just watch them and realize how dumb they all like , and how they aren't making a difference , or being their own person . their in the same categorie someone else was before them . A cheerleader with a highschool boyfirned , who drinks on the weekends. But maybe im an outcast who drinks and smokes on the weekend. i feel so much more than that though , maybe they do too ,

matt and i
Me and matt are lying under the stars , and im thinking about how cool it is to be right there in that moment. and i give him a look , the look that i want him to kiss me , but he turns his head , and i say " how weird it is to die and be in all that fluffy stuff" and i can tell he was thinking the same thing.


but i love to be in cool places where i think a cool sotner was, playing bongos or somehting. it makes me feel ten times lighter, and freer.









vanessa, i wonder if you thought of me right before you were about to jump in fornt of the train , i wonder if you thought of everyone and what their going to think , feel , or do. you know i hope you thought of when we met at the prospect firehouse dance, or if you thought of freshman year when we had homeroom together. ya know , i just wanna know , if you thought of me . because i wouldnt mind texting you right now to see if your alright , or to see whats new,