My own mental prison

I think the lonely world that I live in was perhaps self imposed at the beginning but has now become the invisible prison that I can never escape. When all we year for is a single soul to understand our own, the greatest pain is realizing that it will never be.there is nobody around me that I feel I can feel connected to, or share my heart with and in the absence of that emotional warmth, I only have the cold expanse of the internet to document my human condition. I live my days hidden in my own head. The prison I have collected the iron it was constructed from the pain of my past experiences. A key lost long ago, or atleast held by another soul who is unknown to me right now. I seek the exit and I search for freedom. This self-imposed prison is far stronger than I alone can cope with. If I don’t find help I shall slowly wither and die in the depths of my own pain . This prison exists only deep within the confines of my mind. And that in and of its self is the largest problem I face, I seek the help which I crave yet, I fear it all the same. I fear reaching out and admitting that i'm truly weak. That this situation is not one I can deal with alone. That statement to any living soul would send me reeling further within my self-imposed prison, recoiling from the pain, and recoiling from the fear of revealing myself to another. I built my prison walls, high and sturdy, I built them to protect what sanity I had been left to grasp by my enemies and freinds alike, it was scant at best. I held onto it as if its loss would signal my own demise. And the walls them-selves began threaten the sanity they had been built to protect. surely I will be my own demise and I need help