Macbeth - How did Macbeth feel after....

Today is a very black day, for I have committed a terrible act. The guilt that is dwelling inside me, I cannot describe. My heart keeps telling me that what I have done is wrong, that I had killed such a good king and a great friend.

As it was my wife’s plan to kill Duncan, I feel a sense of loneliness and guiltiness because what I had done could of been prevented, and the fact that I agreed to her plan makes me feel even more guilty. At the time of planning this act, I did not know whether what I was about to do was right or wrong, but now after his death, I realise that I had done a terrible thing. My life will feel empty without a good friend to talk to, although I will still have my wife but I do not her feelings towards me, after this terrible act. I am beginning to wonder whether she actually cares about me, after persuading me into killing such a good king. I am beginning to wonder if she was drunk when she suggested the idea of his death to me. How will I keep my sanity with all of these feelings building up inside of me?

I am filled with mixed feelings of ambition and remorse.... possibly more of remorse at this present time. I was so ambitious and I do believe it was the lack of control of my ambition which led me to murder king Duncan. I should have been satisfied with the way things were but I desired more because I wanted to be more powerful. I just wanted something for myself so desperately my ambitions knew no boundaries. Although my actions were harsh no one can imagine how remorseful I feel at this moment. As I sit here staring at the dagger my conscience will never let me escape from the guilt I am now burdened with.

When I take this moment to think about how close Duncan and I were, I never would have imagined that I could ever murder him. I do feel that I was influenced by the witches and their prophecies. I can’t say I was forced to kill Duncan but I was certainly influenced to carry out the task. The witches fed my ambition and somehow managed to control my mind. They planted the seed of evil in my mind and with that I acted upon it. Yes, I was indeed spell bound. I feel manipulated and deceived but not only by the witches, also by Lady Macbeth. My wife gave me a false sense of what is possible and this led me to see the prophecies given by the witches through. Oh I wish I had not had listened. She questioned how manly I am and I needed to prove to her that I could do this or she may have seen me as weak. It was clearly not just me who murdered Duncan, there were other people involved, I was just the unfortunate one to be holding the dagger.

I am indeed horrified by my actions but my thoughts are now wandering towards my destiny. I need to avoid people finding out it was me or else it will spoil everything. I must do whatever it takes to cover up my atrocious act. I am fearful for the future as I am worried that people will find out that it was really me who killed Duncan. Surely, my people will not make me king after what I have done. The first person that is bound to find out about it is Banquo, and he will surely turn me in for my crime. I must of a way to get rid of Banquo, I will convince the two murderers that killing him is right. I should have resisted the evil thought of killing Duncan. I am beginning to wonder whether I have endangered the harmony of my country.

All I wanted was for me to become king but if Macduff finds out about the murder, I will surely be killed, and then Malcolm will be made king. because of my ambition, my whole world is falling apart and I cannot let it happen. All I can do now is focus on becoming king and not let anyone get in my way.