Deep Inside Me

I'm the girl that wakes up in the morning

and tries to forget he's not there but

his side of the bed untouched and pillow cold

I'm the girl that gives a plastic smile

to anyone that looks my way

but my minds screaming, don't look my way...

you don't know me.

you don't know how i feel.

you don't know i'm crying inside.

I'm the girl that goes to her body combat gym class

the instructor says, pretend like your punching my face

i pretend i'm punching the Navy in the face.

sweat pours down my forehead, drips to the floor

and while everyone leaves refreshed and invigorated

i just leave angry and feeling defeated.

I'm the girl that tries to ignore when the door rings

and one of her kids call out, daddy!

it's just UPS...

my heart aches.

I'm the girl that's filled with jealousy

when i see a family eating in a restaurant together

and i'm sitting in the drive thru just getting food for

me and the kids.

I'm the girl looks at the clock

but for what?

time stands still.

i watch the world buzz around me

and i'm frozen

frozen in my world

I'm the girl that stares at the calendar

it brings no comfort.

i don't know when he'll come home.

i don't know how long he'll stay.