The Passions of a Normal Teenager

I've always struggled with what I want to be when I grow up;

Film director? Author?

Lawyer?

The deadline draws closer,

the visible end coming closer.

The choice needs to be made.

I know what skills I possess,

what passions I have.

My passions mainly draw from my self therapy I administer daily;

theatre, and writing.

Yet I have only looked past these selfish passions to see other things;

I want to help children.

I want to help teenage girls see that the body you've been given is beautiful

and there is nothing wrong with being a little curvy or thin.

I want to help teenage boys see that they don't need to be muscular,

or play four hundred sports, just to be worthy of love.

I want to help children maintain their innocence for as long as possible,

because it's one thing you never can repossess.

I want to help everybody put down the pills, the drugs, the booze,

the razor, the candles.

I want them to pick up life, and happiness and joy and hope,

for I have been there myself --

I am still there, for the most part,

and yet I feel as if it is my duty as a survivor and a fighter to help those weaker than myself.

I want to help those find passions that light that flame inside them.

By helping others, I am not hurting myself, making myself weaker by being around their influence,

in truth I am helping myself;

I am following my passions of helping others who need it.

My friend cuts -- so I am not suppose to help both her and I at the same time?

Another friend has anorexia -- I am not suppose to help her eat, yet eat less for me at the same time?

I must do what I can for the world,

both out of moral obligation, and for the happiness of myself.

When the time comes for me to decide what I want to do,

I have no doubt that in the end,

I'm going to help the teenagers,

the children,

the adults,

the elderly,

anybody whom I can reach out and caress with my words,

for everybody is worthy of love.

Everybody is beautiful.

You've done something you can never forgive yourself for?

If not you, then who?

We have all screwed up --

let's decide to love us and move past the hard times.