The Voice

This was written January 3, 2005 - Twelve days shy of the one-year anniversary of my brother's suicide.  He was 19 years old when he died and his name was David.

The Voice

Gone from this realm of constant pain
Our efforts and pleas were all in vain
Selfish love and prideful need
We all stood there and watched you bleed
All you wanted was freedom from choice
But all of us never heard the voice
It screamed and raged within your heart
We chose denial right from the start
He's okay it's just a phase
Who knew it would be just a few days
Before you took your life; chose to die
Leaving no note or answer why
Two beautiful babies without a dad
Yes, at first you know I was mad
I didn't understand, I didn't know why
All I could do was sit and cry
I neglected the world, my family too
Longing for solace, longing for you
I searched for answers, for reasons why
You felt so helpless and wanted to die
How you could resign your fate on earth
Why you felt you had no worth
How could you hurt mom, dad, and me
How could you abandon your family
Slowly but surely the answers came through
You faced a choice and couldn't choose
A boy or a girl, who means more?
Something you couldn't handle, couldn't balance the score
Eliminate yourself, and don't make the choice
because no one but you could hear the voice.