Another wedding/reception story

I guess the only place to really start this, is way back at the beginning. So I shall. I must forewarn you though, it may not start out as much of a comical story, but I assure you it is necessary to set the stage for what is to come...

December 12, 2009, early in the morning, my son shipped out to Japan for a four year tour. That night, my mother died. I thought it would truly be the worst Christmas ever.

Unbeknownst to me, my now husband had planned to propose at my family gathering on Christmas Eve. But due to the events of the previous couple weeks, he didn't know what to do, so he asked my sister. She suggested he propose Christmas morning, when it was just the 2 of us, here at home. I'm glad he did! Because as we were just trying to make it through the Christmas holiday and get it over with, my nephew and his wife informed us that they were expecting their first baby. I was elated, we all were. The news turned the whole weekend around. The next morning when my husband proposed, it was just icing on the cake. The blues were fading away and we all had some things to look forward to for 2010.

My husband was Lutheran and I loved the church we attended, so I started by converting, and becoming a member of this majestic little church that his family had attended for over 50 years. One of those places out in the country where it was easier to make, and put out signs for the guests to follow, rather than trying to give directions to.

The church is very small and we needed a place for the reception. My sister said "Lets have it at the conservation club in Dudleytown."

"Dudley what???"

Dudleytown it is! My husband, brother 'n law, and sister decided. It was no problem to get the key to check this "hall" out as my husband worked with the husband of the woman that handled the leases of this "hall". Let me inject here, that I use the word "hall", ever so loosely. This place was out in the middle of nowhere! The road to get there required that you decelerate to a crawl of about 5 mph to make it around the curves. Needless to say, the town name, was befitting of the location.

We left our tiny little town and drove even further out into the country for what seemed like 30 miles. At the top of a hill, we turned into a driveway of a mobile home with a concrete block building behind it. The mobile home looked as if the wind blew very hard, it may disintegrate. By the way, it was for sale...

Beside the concrete building there was a pond that had a large sign letting everyone know that only members were allowed to fish there. My heart was sinking further with every turn as I continued to look around. In front of the pond was a concrete block, three walled thing that I couldn't imagine what it would be used for. Upon asking, I was informed that that was the incinerator. "Really???" Of course there was a burn ban on for the county because it was the driest summer this county had ever had.

We finally walked up to the building, unlocked and opened the door. The musty smell was nearly breath taking. I momentarily held my breath as I walked around and slowly became adjusted to the stench in the air. I had wore white flip flops into this place and as I looked down at my now grayish brown flip flops and currently black feet, I looked at my sister and said through tears that were beginning to stream down my face, "Really? This is the best place to have a wedding reception in this county?"

"Sure it is, we can make it look really nice. Everyone knows where it is (with the exception of 80% of MY family and friends)". I was clearly, no longer a resident of the big city I had spent the previous 20 years in. Anyway....

We chose October 2, 2010 as our wedding day. We wanted a fall wedding because we were honeymooning in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. And everyone knows how beautiful the fall is in Tennessee. Who knew that Tennessee would have the worst summer ever, with floods, etc. and 2010 would probably produce the worst fall colors ever?

Next came the wedding dress. I obviously couldn't wear a traditional white gown, nor did I want an ivory or any other type of traditional gown. (Let alone the fact that my husband is a country boy. He cooks everything in bacon grease and he cooks it 3 times a day. After six months of living together, I had to go on cholesterol medicine as well as start Weight Watchers. It was a far cry from the everything organic and the healthy diet I had eaten while living in Dallas). But I digress. Anyway, I decided on purchasing this simple gold gown that my sister could add a train to. It seemed simple enough, right?

We went to Louisville and picked up my brother, whom worked for a florist and was in charge of my flowers. Together, we all went to a fabric store and picked out a beautiful gold and ivory design that would be made into a cumber-bun and train for my fairly simple dress. It was going to be a piece that could be removed so we could dance at the wedding reception.

We went back to my brothers apartment and cut out the fabric so my sister would just have to hem it and attach it to the dress.

I had no way of knowing that my sister was scared to death she would ruin the fabric, therefore ruining my dress. As the wedding grew closer and closer, the fabric still laid on the spare bed at my sister's house. I eventually convinced her to just do it. If it's ruined its ruined and I would just wear the dress as it was. I really didn't care at that point. Two weeks before the wedding, she finally got it done. I went over to try the dress on one last time. I put the dress on, along with the shoes I had selected for the wedding. I went to take a step forward and almost tripped over the front of the gown. I hadn't taken into account that the Weight Watchers diet was working well and I'd lost 30 pounds which had greatly reduced my stomach size and now the dress was very long in front and I couldn't walk even though I was wearing 4" heels.

(ugg, this is turning into a rather lengthy short story...sorry about that. I promise the end will make you laugh...read on, please?)

The fabric of the dress was satin and my sister said there was no way she was going to attempt to hem it. So, in this very tiny town we lived in, we had to find a seamstress. One of the girls I worked with told me that she had a friend that does all kinds of sewing and would have no problem hemming the dress. Perfect! I thought...

The seamstress was also a hair dresser and was coming to my place of employment the next day to cut the clients hair. So it was agreed that I would bring the dress to work and she would take it home and hem it.

A week later, and 3 days before the wedding, I finally got my dress back. I went over to my sister's house to put it on one last time before the big day. I walked into the room where it hung and burst into tears. My sister came running to the room to see what was wrong. I held up the dress and my sister gasped as she looked at the puckered up mess that was now the front hem of my dress. Apparently the seamstress doesn't sew a lot of satin either.

It took the remainder of the 3 days before the wedding to painstakingly remove the stitches without pulling any of the fabric, or leave any holes in it. Once the stitches were removed, there was still the dilemma of this dress being way too long. My sister is quite creative, so I was somewhat amused when she chose double sided sticky tape to hold the hem of my dress.

The rehearsal was quite interesting. My brother was to give me away since our father had passed away in 1981. His ex-wife, and my long time best friend that I had grown up with, was my bridesmaid. Their grandchildren were to be my ring barer and flower girl. My eldest sister was to light my side of the unity candle as well as my husbands sister was to light his side of the unity candle. (His mother had died 8 months before my mother). Anyway...my niece was to be my junior bridesmaid and one of my other sisters was to be my maid of honor.

On my husbands side, his best friend of numerous years was to be best man and another one of his best friends was to be his groomsman. Now the groomsman was in an accident years ago and lost his right arm. Not a big deal...right?

Just about everyone eventually got to the wedding rehearsal. The best man was drunk, the bridesmaid walked into the church with a tequila t-shirt on....I thought...here we go. As I walked down the aisle, the best man was whistling at me, and the groomsman turned a shade of red that I had never seen before. My brother couldn't make it so he would have to filled in at the last minute as would my eldest sister as she couldn't be there either...and it was just the lighting of a candle, right?

We made it through the first round with just about everything perfect. The drunk best man turned and took my sisters arm to go back down the aisle, the groomsman looked at my bridesmaid and back to his ummm stub, and said "You know this isn't happening right?"

After the third trip down the aisle, the kids started racing, the best man was over the whole thing and just want to get back on his Harley and head to the bar, the pastor was losing all of his patience and ironically, I had to get back to work. So we called it quits and started to all go our separate ways, when the pastor spoke up and said there would be no drinking before the ceremony. The best man looked him squarely in the eye and asked why? The pastor told him that it would insure that we would all make it down the aisle without falling down. The best man stared at him for a moment before spouting out, I made it down the aisle today didn't I? sigh...

It was finally the day of the wedding and I just wanted to make it through the day without any big issues arising. Wanted...being the main word here. The hair dresser came to my sister's house and did our hair...all went well there. Then the cake baker walked into the house and informed all, that she needed to talk to me immediately! At the same time, my cell phone was ringing. My sister yelled that she would answer my phone and told the baker to go back to the bathroom where I was doing my make up. When she got to the bathroom, she looked mortified and I calmly said, "What"? She informed me that the grooms cake had not turned out and that she had had to use cupcakes instead. She showed me a picture and they looked cute in front of the wedding cake and fountain so I assured her I didn't mind and told her not to worry about it. She was thankful and left. By this time, the person on my cell phone was freaking out and had to talk to me right away. I took the phone and asked her what was wrong. She said she was at the reception hall and the wedding cake and grooms cake were not the way I had ordered them. I let her know that it wasn't a big deal and the baker had already come in with pictures. She couldn't believe I wasn't freaking out. I asked her if she had ever seen me freak out and she quickly replied "No, but it's your wedding day, and everyone freaks out on their wedding day." I just laughed, hung up the phone and finished my make up.

We finally got to the building across the street from the church where we were to get dressed. There was my bridesmaid with a bottle of vanilla vodka, passing it around as she and my niece dressed the little ones. My flowers were beautiful and they had placed an anchor on it to represent my son whom couldn't be there and a silver locket with my mom and dad's pictures in it as well as one of my mothers blue hankies in the back of the bouquet. It was all very special!

The only really funny thing that happened at the wedding itself was when my sister lit her side of the unity candle, my husband's sister lit her side, then the two of them together lit the big candle from the tapers they were holding. As they went back to their seats, my niece ran up and put out the candle my husband and I were supposed to light. She burned her fingers in the process...

We made it through all the official stuff, and headed to the car. When I got in the car, my husband handed me a huge beer mug that had been etched with Regina Bride, into it and held up his matching mug with his name and groom etched into it. I laughed so hard. The groomsman and his wife were standing beside the car and laughed as he (the groomsman) held up his mug stating his name and groomsman on it. Apparently my husband thought it a fine idea that the wedding party got matching beer mugs with their names on them. This would have been a fine idea for the best man and groomsman, but none of the rest of us drank. Well occasionally my husband and I might have a beer, but that's pretty much it...well except for the tequila...

We started out to the reception and I realized my husband was not going the direction of the signs I had placed. Soon, we had a long train of vehicles behind us. Now, my husband has lived here for all of his life and knows the back roads like the back of his hand, but my sister from Indianapolis was back there, my brother from Louisville and Lord knows who else. I asked him to look in the mirror and slow down so we wouldn't lose anyone. He obliged and twenty minutes later, we were at our destination.

When we got there, the pastor said the prayer, we went to the head of the food line, fixed our plates and took our seats. Behind us, my sister and friend had taken a big piece of lattice, painted it white and put like 500 white Christmas lights on it. Though it did look pretty, the heat it radiated had us eating quickly, stripping off any clothing that was possible and just trying to get away from it. But before we could, it was time for toasting.

Now, my brother 'n law and I have had this long standing tequila tradition. When I would come home for visits, we had to do shots of tequila together. When I would return to Texas, if either of us had had a bad day, we would call the other and do a long distance shot together. I had no way of knowing that he would make a speech of said tradition, while he had my niece pour us both a shot. Unfortunately, we had purchased 4oz wine glasses for the reception and my niece thought it would be funny to put about 3 shots in the little glasses. My brother 'n law looked at me and asked if I needed training wheels? That is what he called the salt and lemon. He thought that was for wimps and never failed to tell me so. I laughed and said "Now have you ever known me to need training wheels?" We grabbed the glasses and I saw what my niece had done. I looked at her with a look that I thought she would surely fall over and die from, but she didn't...There were about 200 sets of eyes on us and no getting out of this one.

Mind you, I had just ate a large meal and had those damn lights on my back. I was already sweating like crazy! I took the glass, bumped his, slurped down the tequila like I was a pro, and finally got away from those stupid lights.

We went to the dance floor, did our first dance, thew the bouquet and guarder and I excused myself to the ladies room. I'd had it with the pantyhose and the whole cumber-bun and train. Sweat was pouring, I felt nauseous from the tequila on a very full stomach...

I had worn one of those one piece body suit things so I wouldn't have any lines under my dress. After unfastening that, and removing my pantyhose, I heard the DJ call out for me, as I had been requested to dance with a friend of the family. My photographer came in and I had told her that I couldn't get the body suit re-fastened fast enough and they were calling for me. She told me to just pull it down as far as I could and she would watch during the dance to make sure nothing showed through...thankfully, the lights had been dimmed and it was a slow dance. I watched her face through to the end of the song and she kept giving me a thumbs up. I'd made it! I ran back to the bathroom, grabbing my sister for help along the way. Just as we made it to the bathroom door, the same family friend was calling for HER to come to the dance floor. It was at that moment when I finally freaked out! As my sister started to turn and go to the dance floor. I grabbed her hand and said "HELL NO! I am not spending my whole reception in this bathroom". I yelled out to the closest person and told them to go tell the DJ that he needed to play another song before my sister would be available for that dance!

We finally got me all suited back up, returned to our guests and continued on. It was a wonderful evening after that. Everyone stayed and danced, wine and beer flowed, everyone commented, "I didn't know this place could look so beautiful!" I beamed with pride. We'd pulled it off, it did look stunning and I couldn't be happier. I had married a man that I couldn't believe existed. Although I do cringe every time he says "ain't got no", I appreciate the simple life we have, in the simple town we live in, in a simple time that has been all but been forgotten.