When Tomorrow Never Comes

When Tomorrow Never Comes?
I was so broken and so ill in 1998, that I did not even have a place to live. The friends I had known for thirty years turned away from me so they did not want to feel they should help me in any way. So I moved in a salvaged mobile home on my ex-husband’s property to help him through a major illness. After about three months he died, again I was without a home, ill and no income.
I went to work for a convenience store about a half mile from where I was staying, in the deli department. I went to work every day, though my feet and legs would swell so much I could hardly walk, but I kept pushing through. I had no choice. I could not go to a doctor for I had no money.
Then one morning, I looked up into the face of an angel. His spirit was so sweet that he almost glowed. He ordered his breakfast and I took special care in the preparation. I felt like a sixteen year old who was still learning the art of dating. I took a moment to speak to him, let him know about the lunch special, just whatever I could think of.
Well, I don’t know how he knew I was wishing to know if he was married or not, but he did. We made a date for that very night. We spent most of the time together from that day forward. He asked me to marry him about three days after we met.
I explained to him how ill I was and didn’t think it would improve. His response was that he would love even if I was sick. He would take care of me as much as I needed. So I agreed to marry him.
About a week later, we announce our wedding plans. My daughter’s response was, “Mom, What if he is an ax murderer?” My response was, “Then it will not matter will it.”
On July 25, 1998, we were married. We spent the next 12 years loving each other to the fullest. True to his word he took very good care of me. He would not let me very much of anything. It was the little things that made our relationship so sweet. The gentle caress as we passed by each other, the gentle kiss on his forehead, or taking him his morning coffee that were the basis of our life together.
On April 30, 2010, I came home from work to find he had died during the day. I lost my senses for some time. I miss those little things we shared in such simple ways. We had never had cross words, not that we didn’t disagree, but we talked about them and settled them before they flawed our loving relationship.
It has taken me nine months to accept that I must go on, and make a new life for myself. Every fiber in me screams when I think of him not being here ever again. I will make a new ending to my life. I will look forward to the day when I can join him in Heaven and we can stroll through Heaven together. Sometimes beginning a new ending is just what one must do just to survive the  tomorrow that are coming, because we can never keep tomorrow from coming.
When you face such a loss, it is hard to get past today, but you must. Who knows what the new ending might have in store for us, if we never reach for it we will never find the best it has to offer.

Word count: 624
Darlene Pharris