Growing

Growing
         
“Why do we have to move to this dump?” I asked my mom, while we were driving to our new home in Shelby, Indiana.
         “Because it was the only job offer I had in the past month and someone has to pay for all of the trouble that you get yourself into. We can’t keep relying on your father’s checks once a month, Kate,” she told me. We have been living off his child support for the past two months.
         “Well then maybe you shouldn’t have sold your copies as originals,” I said to myself.
         “What was that?”
         “Nothing.” I found that it was easier if I kept my thoughts to myself. It prevents me from actually talking to people. We finally pulled into our new driveway after driving all the way from California. I just stared at the house. Actually, I just stared at the shack. The paint job actually did look new, though it was a bright peach color, the front door was still on its hinges, and there were no broken windows.
         “Is this seriously where we’re living? This place looks like it used to be some hippie couple’s house and then taken over by a poor, single mom.”
         “Why must you always see things differently than I do? You should just be lucky I found us a new home and that I found myself a new job, so now we won’t have to live off the child support checks from your father anymore.” She just doesn’t want to take care of me, but I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it my whole life. She never had time for me. Not like I care anyway.

         For the next two days we unpacked all of our stuff into our new home. I didn’t mind because it kept me out of school just a little bit longer. There were only two months left of school anyway. I decided to take a walk around the block to see if there might be things to do around here. Every house I noticed was about thirty or so feet away from its neighboring house. Each one had only a skinny sidewalk as a driveway. There was a park about two blocks away from my house; two little girls were playing on it and there were two older girls sitting on a bench. I sighed deeply and then decided to have some fun while I’m stuck here. They both just stared at me, so I stared right back. One had pudgy lips, three rolls in her mid section, chubby ankles, big, bulging eyes, and freckled cheeks. The other one was taller and curvier throughout her body. She wore flip-flops, shorts, and a plain blue tank top. She had blotched on eye make-up with a neutral-colored lip-gloss. 
         “Hi. Are you new on the block? My name is Christine, and this is my friend Jessica,” the one with blotchy make-up said.
         “Uh… yeah I guess so. I’m Kate,” I said.
         “So where did you move from?” asked Jessica.
         “L.A.”
         “Wow. This must really suck for you then,” said Christine.
         “Oh yeah. More than you know. So what is there to do around here anyway?” I decided to ask them, thinking they wouldn’t say much so I could leave.
         “Honestly, not much. You want a smoke?” Christine asked, holding out a cigarette. I nodded my head and took one from her. She took her lighter out of her pocket and lit hers and Jessica’s, then offered it to me. I shook my head and pulled out my own lighter.
         “Well I’m gonna go. See you around. Thanks for the smoke,” I told them after my second puff. They nodded their heads and went back to talking to each other.

         I saw them in the cafeteria on my first day at school the next day, sitting at a table in the corner and I went to sit by them after I got my food.
        “Hey. So have you guys lived here your whole life?” I asked as I sat down.
        “Unfortunately, yes,” said Christine.
        “So what has that been like? Aren’t you bored out of your minds?”
        “Pretty much, but we still have fun every now and then. Hey, Jessica, remember that time when we egged Agatha’s house?”
        “Ha! How could I forget that? We almost got caught the third time we did it, though.”
        “The third time? Damn. Yeah… I remember when I was twelve and got caught smoking my first cigarette behind my school,” I told them as I smiled to myself.
“How in the hell did you get cigarettes when you were twelve?”
        “I stole them from my mom’s purse. I saw them sticking out of her purse and my first instinct was to just grab them.”
        “I wish we were that lucky at that age. We didn’t start smoking until Jessica’s older brother turned eighteen a year ago.”
        “Yep. Lucky me. I was a lot smarter about not getting caught after that, until I was sixteen anyway. I was smoking and drinking at a party, and then the cops came. You can probably figure the rest out yourself.”
        “L.A. sounds like it was a lot of fun,” Christine chuckled a little.
        “Yeah, well… I do what I want to do when I want to do it.”
        “Don’t your parents ever punish you?”
        “What parents?” I said, looking at the floor and then back up at them. They had a confused look on their faces and so I changed the subject, “Who is Agatha that you mentioned earlier?”
         “Oh, she lives behind us. She’s just this crazy old lady who is always gardening and outside taking care of her yard. She doesn’t talk to anyone and always seems to be mumbling to herself. No one really knows much about her,” said Christine.
         “Hey, do you know what we should do tonight?” I asked, after just having a fun thought.
         “What?”
         “We should mess around with this old lady’s plants and shit, like dig them up and move them around. I just would love a little fun and danger right now,” I told them. They looked at me, as if I had just gone crazy myself. Then they looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.
         “Sure. Why not? We’ve done something like that before,” said Christine.
         “Great. Well, I gotta go. Meet you at the park tonight at one,” I said and got up to walk away.
          “We’ll bring some eggs, too,” Christine shouted after me. I nodded my head without looking back and walked out of the school. I was done with school for the day.
         I saw Agatha on my way back home, outside in her front garden, just as Christine had described. She was wearing a white visor and had her hair up in a bun. She was on her hands and knees, gardener’s gloves on, and was digging new holes to put her seeds in. She might have also been mumbling to herself. It looked like it, at least.
         “What are you going to do tonight, Kate?” my mom asked when I got home.
         “I don’t know. Probably eat and relax. I’m going to have an early night, though. I’m really tired.”
         “Okay, well don’t forget to do your homework,” she said and went back to her artwork. I’m not even worried that she’ll check up on me. Jessica and Christine will probably have to stuff their blankets with pillows or something when they sneak out, but not me. All I have to do is turn off my light and close my door if I want to sneak out.
         I looked over at the clock and it was finally five minutes to one. I put on a black sweatshirt, shut off my light, closed my door, and started walking to the park. Jessica and Christine were already there, waiting for me, holding a carton of eggs.
         “Let’s go,” I said and we started walking to the old lady’s house. They both started to look a little nervous, as we got closer to the house. I started to think that they might be making everything up about how many times they have done this.
         “Here,” Christine handed me the egg carton and I took a few. I threw the first one. It hit the door with a splat! The yolk slid down the middle of the door. Eggs were splashing all over the ground and front porch from Jessica’s poor aim. Then we walked onto the lawn and walked all over the freshly plowed dirt, mixing all of the seeds around. The other girls were laughing loudly the whole time.
         All of a sudden, the porch light turned on and we could hear sirens in the near distance.
         “Shit!” Christine whispered loudly.
         “You guys should’ve kept your mouths shut,” I told them sternly and we all started running down the street. It was too late though. A cop car had just pulled into the street and the headlights shined brightly on us as we were running. I heard brakes squeal and a door swing open.
         “Stop! Stop right where you are! Freeze!” I heard.
         “Run! Go! Keep going!” Christine said as she looked back at Jessica, who was lagging behind. I ran as fast as I could. I looked behind me to see just how far the cop was behind me. Just as I turned my head, I slipped over a few rocks along the side of the road. I fell forward, scraping my knees and hands. Within seconds, the cop knelt down and began to cuff my hands together. Christine and Jessica were nowhere to be seen.
         “Remain still,” he said and stated my rights. He helped me up and walked me over to put me in the back of his police car. He left me there while he went to go talk to Agatha. I could only make out a faint expression on her face. She looked calm, but a little sad as she looked at her once beautiful yard. She can’t be too bummed though. Gardening is all she does anyway. She loves it, and now she gets to start all over.

         After all of the questioning at the station, my mom came to get me. She looked more upset that she had to get up in the middle of the night than that I got into trouble again.
         “What were you thinking, Kate? Now we have to go to court again since the lady is probably going to press charges. I just don’t know what to do with you anymore.” I just sat there, looking at the floor. I didn’t feel bad, I was just sick of hearing her voice and the way she pretends to care so much. My mom got to take me home as soon as she signed the papers to bail me out. We didn’t talk the whole ride home and went our separate ways to our rooms when we walked into the house.
          I woke up late the next morning and quickly began to get dressed for school, thinking my mom was going to yell at me to get to school at any moment. When I went out into the kitchen, I didn’t see her sitting at the table drinking coffee, as she always did. I went to her room and she wasn’t in there either. I decided she must have had something more important to get done than make sure I went to school, so I wasn’t going to go.
         When she did finally get home, I was watching TV and she walked right passed me, not even bothering to ask if I made it to school. 
         I didn’t have to go to school the next day since my court session was scheduled for noon. My mom almost had forgotten about it and we got to the courthouse just as they called my name to go in. 
         “So… Ms. Hail is it? I see that this isn’t the first time you’ve been in a court like this, under similar circumstances,” the judge began speaking when I had sat down.
         “Yes,” I gave him for an answer.
         “And so there is always the possibility you will be back here in a matter of time, no matter what punishment I give you. However, I’m still going to make you give back to your new community. I’m assigning you one hundred hours of community service and since you seem to love gardens so much, you will be serving your time at the Shelby Arboretum.” 
         “This is such bullshit,” I said under my breath.
         We walked out of the courtroom silently and then my mom started talking as soon as we got into the car.
         “Well, I would have to say they let you off easy this time. It looks like everyone is giving up on you,” she said more to herself than me. I didn’t get what she meant. How can you give up on something you never really started to do anyway? When we pulled into the street and parked, I went straight to bed, not wanting to think about anything else tonight.
         
      Once I walked into school the next day, I wanted to walk right back out. Everyone stared at me all day long, whenever they had a chance. Clearly the word had gotten out.
“So what happened to you? Why didn’t you keep running?” Christine and Jessica came right up to me just as I walked into the cafeteria at lunch.
      “I was running. I tripped over rocks and fell, and you know the rest. Where did you guys end up going? Certainly not back to your house, otherwise the whole school wouldn’t know shit. You were probably hiding in some bush the whole damn time,” I said and walked out of the building, determined to go straight home.
         I had to start my hours at the arboretum every weekday starting at four. My mom wasn’t home to give me a ride so I had to call a cab. It pulled into the entrance about ten minutes after four and I paid him and got out of the car. I walked up to the front desk inside the only building there and told them my name. She nodded and told me to follow her as she got up from her desk. I followed her out and around to the back door. I looked around as I followed her outside. We walked down a small garden path, lined with small rocks on each side. There was a water fountain about the size of a bathtub, with statues of frogs sitting on top of the flat rocks surrounding the pond. Flowers of all colors were growing on every patch of grass, with name stakes in front of them all. I looked ahead and saw an old lady cutting away some old grass with her back facing me. She was wearing a pair of khaki shorts that went to a little above her knees, a button-up shirt with sunflowers covering it tucked into her shorts, a pair of white nurse shoes with dirt smudges all over, and a white visor.
         “Excuse me, Mrs. Krepler, Ms. Hail is here to begin her work.”
         “Thank you Darlene,” she said without speaking to her face. Darlene turned around and went back inside. Mrs. Krepler finished pulling out one patch of dead grass and then stuck the shovel in the ground and finally turned to face me. It was Agatha! I couldn’t believe she worked there.
         “You’re late.”
         “Big deal. I had to call a cab in order to even get here. You’re lucky I even showed up.”
         “You are not allowed to talk to me like that. You are to do as I say unless you want me to tell the judge that your wish is to spend your time in a jail cell.”
         “I can’t believe those are my only options,” I told myself, but she heard me and sneered at me.
         “You can start by getting a shovel from the tool shed over there and then help me remove all of this dead grass. I have this area covered, so you can start over there,” she pointed to an area next to the pond I had seen earlier.
         “Fine,” I said and walked over to the tool shed. I grabbed the nearest shovel and went over to the pond area. I looked back over at her and noticed that she was turned away from me. I dropped the shovel and walked quietly over to the side of the main building, behind some bushes. I took out a cigarette from my back pocket and was about to light it up when I noticed a shadow was right behind me and I turned around.
         “What are you doing? You get back over there and finish your work. If you want to smoke the rest of your life away that’s fine with me, but do it when you’re not on my watch.” She took the cigarette from my mouth and tore it apart.
         “This is so unfair! You know what? Go ahead! Call the judge! I’m so out of here. I’m not going to take this shit.” I ran back through the main building and walked down the long entrance driveway. My mom was supposed to pick me up at six and I found a big rock to sit on while I waited. I looked around a bit and noticed a small patch of flowers next to the rock I was sitting on. I felt like I had seen this type of flower before. I thought back to my old home. My mother had once taken me to a plant nursery with her when I was six years old. I first had thrown a fit because I didn’t feel like going anywhere with her. She was really only going to get an idea for a new painting and she couldn’t afford to hire a baby-sitter to watch me while she went on all of her outings I had later realized. She had stopped in front of a vine-like plant and had immediately gotten an inspiration. She let go of my hand and walked over to it. Since I was on my own I had decided to do some exploring since I was already there. I remembered walking over to this exact flower that I’m looking at now and I remembered deciding it would be my favorite flower. They were daffodils.
         I felt a hand on my shoulder and jumped a little. I forgot where I was for a second, but I soon remembered when I saw it was Agatha.
         “I though I had told you I was done,” I said, but she sat down next to me.
         “Those are beautiful flowers, aren’t they?”
         “What? Oh yeah… I guess.” I was confused as to why she was here.
         “You know those are my favorite flowers. Daffodils. When I was young my mother had her own garden that she never seemed to leave. When I was feeling depressed about something, she always tried to make me feel better by saying some plant metaphor that would fit perfectly with my situation. When I was your age, I was exactly like you; always getting into trouble, thinking no one really cares anyway so why should I care. After awhile, I started to pay more attention to my mother and her garden. It was like her own sanctuary, her own place to get away from the rest of the world and think only about the plants. I wanted that. And so she helped me set up my own garden and before I knew it, I had a full garden of healthy, beautiful plants.”
         “Well, that’s great for you, but why did you tell me that? You have no idea who I am, or what my life is like.”
         “Actually, I know more about you than you realize. Let’s see here… your mother is revolved around her work so much that she doesn’t have time to take care of you. And without a father or any other parental figure in your life, you try to get her attention by getting in trouble with the law time and time again. You don’t really have any real friends because you feel like you can’t trust anyone and are afraid of people knowing too much about you. Am I right?” she looked at me and a small smile formed.
         “What makes you think that?”
         “Well, you think that you can do anything you feel like whenever you want since you feel like an independent adult who can do those things too. Truth is, you are still a child and have been acting like one, too. If you want to get into trouble then that’s fine, but if you want to be treated like an adult then start taking responsibility for your actions. You only get one life to live and before you know it, it’s over. Don’t waste the one life God gave you,” she said as I stared straight ahead with an angry squint, “We will try this again tomorrow, then.” I tried my best not to stare at her as she got up and walked back to the main building.
         My mom finally drove up about an hour later and I slowly got into the car.
         “So how was your first day?”
         “It was fine. I didn’t have to do much at all actually.”
         “That’s nice. Oh, I finished my painting today. You will have to take a look at it and tell me what you think. The class that I teach at the school will just love it, I know,” she went off rambling about her artwork and how wonderful her class is. I couldn’t even get one word in, so I just leaned my head against the window.
         When we walked through the door I started to walk to her studio to look at her finished piece that she really wanted my opinion about, but she stopped me on my way there.
         “Where are you going? Don’t you have something you need to work on? Like homework or something? I have to work on something in the studio right now and you know how I feel about people watching me work.”
         “But I thought you wanted me to look at your finished piece of work.”
         “I didn’t mean tonight or right this minute. Just go watch some TV and don’t come in here unless I tell you to. Ok?”
         “Yeah. Sure, Mom. Whatever,” I said as I walked away to my room and slammed the door.

         When school finished the next day, I didn’t feel like going to that stupid arboretum. I went home and lay down. I heard sirens off in the distance and looked out the window to see an ambulance speed down the main highway. Then I heard my mom come in and I was about to go out to say hi when I heard a man’s voice. I heard a bunch of giggling coming from the living room. I went to my door, opened it a crack, and saw her with some strange guy on the couch making-out. She never did worry that I might walk in on her with some guy, whether she knew I was home or not. I went back to my bed, put my headphones in, and turned the music up as far as it would go and closed my eyes.
         When I woke up the next morning I noticed that my mom was already gone, so I decided to skip school again. I had to call a cab again to get to the arboretum, though. I showed up on time and went to the front desk as I had done the first time. This time, Darlene stared at me with watery eyes.
         “So where is Agatha today?” I heard her sniffle.
         “Oh dear… I’m afraid she had a heart attack yesterday. Why didn’t you show up? She was waiting for you when it happened. She was rushed to the hospital,” she began crying softly.
         “I’m sorry to hear that, but does that mean I get to go home?”
         “You are still instructed to come here ever day of the week for two hours. You can finish up what Mrs. Krepler had you working on the first day.”
         “I think I’ll just go home actually. I have some stuff I have to get done anyway.” And I walked right back out the door. I didn’t feel like calling for another cab nor did I feel like waiting for my mom. I started walking down the road toward town. I saw wild flowers along the side of the road and a few rabbits and squirrels run away as they heard me coming closer. I remembered when my mom took me to a beautiful meadow so she could paint it when I was very little. I had seen a rabbit run off and decided to follow it. I had looked back at my mom to see if she saw me, but she was already drawing and painting vigorously. I ran as fast as I could after the rabbit until I ran out of breath, but I had noticed that the rabbit had stopped as well. I sat on a big rock that I saw a few feet in front of me and watched the rabbit. It was alone, fighting to survive on its own.
         I came out of the memory and realized I was at the park a few blocks from my house. I saw Christine and Jessica sitting on the bench, smoking. They turned around and saw me walking past them, with smirks on their faces. I shook my head side to side and continued walking home. I had almost forgotten that Agatha’s house was on the way to my own. There was a car that was pulling into her driveway. Darlene was in the driver’s seat and Agatha was in the passenger’s seat. Agatha was the only one who got out of the car, though I could tell that Darlene might have been insisting she walk her to the door from the way her door kept opening and closing. Agatha waved good-bye and Darlene backed out of the driveway and drove away. Agatha watched her drive away and saw me staring at her from across the street. She motioned her head for me to come to her. At first I hesitated and looked in the other direction, but then I thought I should at least go see if she’s ok. I slowly made my way up her up-hill driveway. Before I reached her, she spoke to me.
         “Where were you yesterday? I waited for you. I thought you were going to start taking responsibility for your actions. I expect to see you tomorrow.”
         “Are you okay? I heard what happened to you. Was it a serious heart attack? I don’t really know much about doctor and medical stuff.”
         “Don’t you worry about me, now. I’m a strong woman. It was just a minor heart attack anyway. I had to stay only one night. It’s no big deal. I’ll be back to work tomorrow and I’m actually going to start on fixing my gardens today.”
         “Oh. Well, that’s good to hear. And I’m sorry about your gardens. I just wanted to have some fun, but I had no idea what all this really means to you,” I said as I pointed to her gardens, “But I should really get going.”
         “And just where do you have to be that is so important?”
         I sighed, “Nowhere really,” and chuckled a bit.
         “I see … Go grab that shovel over on the side of the house.” I looked at her, deciding whether or not I should listen to her and then I walked to the side of the house and grabbed the shovel.
         “Start digging some holes for replanting. I’ll be out in a minute.” With the shovel in hand, I dug the first hole.