'Twas The Rush Before Christmas

“Santa, honey, didn’t you set the alarm last night?”

“I’ve never had to set it before my dear, why would I now? I wake up at the same time every December twenty-fourth.”

“Well, obviously not every. I told you to cut back on the eggnog last night. You’re not as young as you used to be. Come on, get up and get Christmas Eve going.”

“Not to worry, it’s just a minor setback, the reindeer will pick up time once we’re over the Atlantic, and the winds there are usually in our favour.”

“I’m not so sure about that, look out the window. Rudolf, Comet, and Vixen are making snow angels for crying out loud. Dasher and Dancer are doing three-sixties over the pond. And look at that lazy elf, sleeping on the sacks in the sleigh. I should go out there and slap his little pointy nose. I told you that one was trouble. Spends more time looking for ways to get out of work that making toys and testing games.”

“True, but he has come up with some intriguing ideas. We have a whole new line of apps because of him.”

“Don’t even start with me, apps schmaps; he still needs a slap, the lazy thing. Here’s your coffee. Get your suit on and let’s get in the kitchen and get breakfast ready. I’ll let the village know you are running slightly behind. We’ll use the “there’s been revisions to the naughty and nice list” as the excuse. They’re used to these kids all of a sudden deciding to do their chores three days before Christmas and then being upgraded from coal to toy.”

“Right behind you, my dear.”

“Remember, we’ve been working on the list, that’s why we’re late.”

“Yes, yes, the list, I got it.”

“Good, come on. What would you like before the big trip, the usual catfish, eggs and hash browns or something different?”

“I’ve had the same breakfast on December 24 since, well, since forever. I’m not about to change now.”

“I didn’t think so, but how about I add a little fruit to it? Perhaps counteract some of that eggnog. When the Tooth Fairy was here last week she brought some of that nice fresh Hawaiian pineapple. I’ll cut you up some of that as well. You need to add a little fibre to your diet and the vitamin C might just help with the adverse effects of those one-too-many drinks you had last night.”

“I did not have one too many, I had just enough.”

“Oh sure, just enough to make you sleep in on your one day of work. Eat up and let’s go get the troops ready.”

“Maybe just a tad. But this wonderful breakfast you’ve made will chase away all the cobwebs and I’ll be well energized to face the elements and challenges that this day will present. Stop rolling your eyes, it’s true. It’s delicious. Even the pineapple.”

“You’re nuts. But I love you. I have forever.”

“As have I. Now who the heck is ringing the doorbell? The village knows we’re on our way out there to get this day started.”

“Ah. Yeah. Here’s the thing. That might be my mother.”

“Your mother? Why is your mother here? And why didn’t I know she was coming? I didn’t feel the usual cold wind that precedes her arrival.”

“Oh Claus, my love, my darling, you were supposed to be gone by now. You’re running behind, remember? I haven’t seen her for a while and yes, I know she can be a challenge, but she’s still my mother, and I love her, warts and all; even the large ones. But she had arranged to arrive once you were well on your way to delivering toys to all the good girls and boys. And well, perhaps you should get your jacket on and do just that. I’ll get the door, you go out the back and knock that lazy elf off the sleigh and get everyone in order. I’ll be out shortly to say goodbye.”

“Good idea, I can’t face the witch right now, give me a kiss for luck.”

“Here you go, and good luck, and have fun. I’ll be watching the television to see where you are. I’ll be out in a minute. Now get out.”

“You got it.”

“Mother, hello, we’re running a bit behind here. Why don’t you come in and get yourself a coffee and relax. I have to get outside and see the team off.”

“Oh? What’s the problem? He’s not as agile as he used to be? Perhaps he needs an eye of newt or toes of frog or wool of bat or tongue of dog to get his butt in gear?”

“Okay, enough. You do this every time you are here. Which if you haven’t noticed is not quite as frequent as it was a few years back. My husband, who I love very much, your son-in-law, who you treat like an imbecile is the single most respected and revered and, I don’t know what, waited for; anticipated, man in the world today. The children love him. I love him. And it’s time you accepted that, or move on and spend your free time in the swamp with some of your other narrow minded friends that think pulling legs off of frogs or the tongues out of dogs actually achieves something worth being proud of. This man makes a difference. He brings happiness and joy to the children of the world; and to the world itself. And if I have to take a stand between where I came from and where I am, then it will be where I am. Mom, I love you, but I believe in what Claus does. You’re the one that need to choose. “

“My very smart daughter, you make me realize that perhaps I have failed. I understand. And accept. And I apologize. I’ve spent far too much time wallowing and getting caught up as you say, with the swamp babble to see my way clear to what my daughter and her rather gallant husband are up to. Forgive me, it’s not in the nature of witches and ogres to be giving and kind; it’s new to us. And this whole Christmas thing...”

“Oh Mom, forgiveness isn’t the issue. I love you. I understand, and even Claus will if you give him the chance, but face it, you’ve been rather hard on him. But I believe he will bend and accept you if you show you are sincere. He knows your ways are different from his, but you need to also accept his ways. Our ways. This is what we do. What we will continue to do. And if you took the time to experience it perhaps you might also see the goodness in it. Let’s go outside, they must be almost ready to take off. Put these boots on and I’ll grab you a scarf. And you’ll want ear muffs too. “

“The snow is quite deep here dear, I didn’t realize that. I’m glad I brought these gloves. Oh my, this is the sleigh? It’s quite large, and looks very comfortable. Oh, look at those funny little men loading up at the back. Are their ears like that naturally? Why are you looking at me like that dear? Why are you shaking your head like that?”

“My darling wife, we’re all set to go. Hello Griselda, nice to see you.”

“Honey, everything looks wonderful, you’ve gotten it well organized and ready to go. But where’s that lazy elf?”

“He’s back in the lab, working on ideas for next year.”

“Or sleeping more like it, the sluggish sod. But we’ll deal with that tomorrow. Boxing Day is named that for a reason! So I was thinking. Mom here wants to better understand what we do, what we believe in. She spends far too much time in the swamp and doesn’t see the good side of life as much as she should.”

“And this is going where?”

“Let me finish please. She would like to go with you tonight to deliver presents. Honey, please don’t look at me like that. She’s serious, right Mom?”

“Yes my daughter, you are right; I want to make it up to you both for my years of doubt and insults. Santa, your very devoted wife has made quite an impact on setting me straight and getting through to this thick witch’s skull as to what you are both about and how important it is.”

“Well then ladies, I say how about we all deliver presents tonight. Honey, you haven’t come with me for years, I’d love to have you by my side. And Griselda, yes, please join us. You might just have some fun. And if you behave, I’ll let you take the reins. Maybe even drop down a chimney or two.”

“Yes! Come on Mom, hop up. I’ll get up right behind you.”

“Well Mrs. Claus. I thank you my sweet girl. I always knew you were headed for better things. Perhaps I just didn’t want to accept it. And you, sir. Show me how this Christmas thing works.”

“You’ve got it Griselda. Here we go ladies, fasten your seat belts.”