Slaying Dragons

Fairytale?

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, a princess lived in castle guarded by fire breathing dragons, sorcerers with magic staffs and ten-foot trolls with spiked clubs who could quite easily knock me into the next AlterNet universe…

Ok so this is no fairytale, I’m no knight in shining armour, there’s no dragon’s, sorcerers or trolls and there is probably no AlterNet universe, though there is no way to know that for sure… But I can tell you that there is definitely a princess and where she lives is kind of like a castle.

The girl I’m talking about… Jade Isabella Thompson!
The most beautiful girl in my school and possibly the whole world!

My names Patrick Drew Markham and I’ve had a crush on Jade since the day girl germs and kooties became silly, childish and immature. But seriously if you saw her you would want her too, with her long blonde hair that shines like the sun flowing gracefully through the air like a bird but that’s just starting at the top... literally. Then there’s her clean, fresh, tanned acne-free forehead that’s shaped very well as to make her eyes shine and glisten in the light. Then there’s her well shaped neck perfectly proportioned to the rest of her body. Getting further down even thinking about this part of her makes my breathing heavy and I shamefully become a little... ok a lot excited. Her breasts are perky and voluptuous... not that I’ve looked, but they are trance alluring

Ok so five years is probably considered a long time to have had a crush on someone and not to have done anything about it. Sure your right but I have reason not to.
Jade is the most popular girl in my school, and me… I’m… Well… I’m not the most popular guy in the school. As it turns out I’m the guy who gets picked on by the guy who gets bullied by the most popular guy in the school (who also picks on me). So yes I’m a lot lower on the food chain and if I ever tried to change that would probably be gobbled up instantly. I don’t hold it against him of course, how else can he stay popular?

So it’s the first day of school year 9 and I’m waiting for the siren. I’m half an hour early and sitting outside my math class reading a book whilst all the other kids catch up with their friends and the school gossip. I’m not at all surprised by my current predicament, happens every year. Naturally my friends are few and far between, though I can’t say I blame them hanging around me can put their popularity in jeopardy.

“Oi loser! Class don’t start for another half an hour!”

I turned in inquiry, who was to be my first attacker for the year?
To my surprise it wasn’t a school jock trying to get an early popularity boost at all, it was one of very few people in the whole school who doesn’t give a damn about reputation or popularity. It was my equally loserish mate Mitch.

“Hey! Thank god it’s only you. I thought I was in for it already!”

Mitch began to giggle. “Nah your alright for another half an hour.” He said laughing to himself

Mitch sat on the bench next to me I hadn’t seen him for about a month he and his family went to England to visit relatives so my holidays were pretty lonely I spent most of them with my Mums new boyfriend Rob. He’s a nice guy but he’s not my Dad and I’m never gonna be able to do the kind of stuff with him that he would like me to. He’s a real bloke his favourite sport is Australian Football and his hobbies include fishing, camping, cars and anything manly.

“So how was England?”

“Cold!” smiled Mitch like he’d cracked the funniest joke of all time. “I ate a lot, I’m pretty sure that at least 70% of my time there was spent consuming a very unhealthy amount of food.”

“Don’t complain! There were moments in my holidays that I would have turned to cannibalism had I had a license to kill.”

“What do you mean James Bond?”

“Mum’s dating a new guy and she wanted us to try and get to know each other so for three days we practiced camping in the back yard. It was horrible, I wasn’t allowed to shower or use the toilet and our only food source were things we found in the backyard or in the river. We even had an incident where the backyard caught on fire and the fire brigade had to be called, and then he thought that that was cheating so he bravely combated alongside the firemen who I’m sure thought he was a right tosser!”

“Well at least you weren’t bored, that 30% that I wasn’t eating I wanted too just to pass the time. All my cousins are plump and lazy, thankfully Mum noticed my quick weight gain and reluctantly allowed me to spend some time outside in the snow with some of the neighbours’ kids.

“Sounds like we both had pretty crappy holidays then!” I sighed.

“Yep!” We both sat staring into the distance of possible alternative holidays we could have had. “So what were you reading anyway?”

“Our reading book for English this semester,” I flipped the book to check the title wow awesome book I didn’t even remember the title. “Howling at the Moon” I read.

“Any good?” Mitch asked, you could see the hope in his eyes. He was probably thinking about the stupid book we had to read last year and didn’t want a repeat.

“It’s alright” I reported back, I had found it hard to get into but after the first couple of chapters it wasn’t so bad.

“Anything’s better than that crap we read last year!” He trailed reminiscing.

“So true!” I said becoming distracted by a group of girls that walked past giggling. What were they laughing at? Then I realised that Mitch was practically drooling at the sight of them. I turned and quickly wacked him in the arm.
“Dude! Do you want to be laughed at again this year?