my only Christmas

Its Christmas time and I am learning to readjust. It's been sometime since I can last recall a Christmas where I was free and with my family. For the last decade it's been somewhat of a depression every time the season decides to bring the holidays with it. I can remember one Christmas that I wore a smile on my face the entire day. Other than that, I have either been high or in prison.

I want to focus on that day, rather the Eve of Christmas. I remember my sister and I hiding behind a closed door, listening to my parents wrap presents. Our parents wanted us to stay in our rooms and it wasnt exactly made clear why but we knew that they were wrapping presents for santa. While we were behind the door listening I suppose just listening wasnt enough so I took a chance and opened the door. I quickly looked around the room and saw the tawdry wrapping paper everywhere and my mom and stepdad on the floor wrapping presents. My mom wasted no time in shouting to us to get back to our rooms and I acted like I had no idea what i did or saw.

I dont believe there was ever a time that I truly believed Santa was real. I considered his task of getting down our chimney and the homes of 7 billion other people and quickly disregarded the fat man with the gray beard as a farce. Although my mom sure tried to play the part that santa was coming. We would even leave cookies and milk out. The wonders of imagination.

We were up half the night. Anticipation and excitement wouldnt allow us to sleep and we obeyed relentlessly. The next day we found ourselves to have fallen asleep and woke up realizing that it was Christmas.....and presents. We went into the living room and our eyes were filled with boxes wrapped in green and red colors. My eyes fixed on my prize...a Sega Genesis. We werent allowed to open anything until we read the Christmas story from the book of Luke. It appeared more of a tradition than it serving a purpose. I enjoyed it because it built up the alacrity we held in tearing those presents up in hopes of finding what we asked for.

We read the story, opened the presents, and then the rest of the family poured in. We ate, played sonic the hedge hog until i became sonic and then ate more. I think i played a little basketball with my cousin also.

There was no fighting, no yelling, no hidden feelings of resentment towards one another, this was my only Christmas that I remember and hope that i never forget.