Bernard and Fred Go to Wal-Mart

         “I told you they wouldn’t believe us,” Bernard said to Fred as Officer Dingleschwartz of the Groothtown Police Department guided him into the back seat.
         “Thanks, Bernie,” Fred said.  As always, your hindsight is spot on.”
         Before Bernard had time to strike back with a witty remark of his own, Officer Dingleschwartz slammed the door shut, leaving Bernard alone with his thoughts for a only a few moments, but even that was far too much time.
         How did things get to this point?
         The day started just like any other.  Bernard woke to the rumbling of his cell phone on his dresser, and before he even opened his eyes he knew it was Fred.  Nobody else ever called.
         Bernard knew Fred had something absurdly insane brewing in his head by his tone.
         “Bern!  Wake up, you lush!  Big plans!
         Bernard would have taken offense from the lush comment had it not been true.  At that point he wished he just let the phone ring through, so he could sleep the rest of the dreary day away.
         But he didn’t, and now he’s handcuffed in the back of a cop car.  Thanks Fred!
         Fred’s idea of a big plan was to to steal a flat-screen TV from the Wal-Mart down the road so they could watch the Pats game in style.
         “And if the doorman stops us, we’ll just say we paid for it,” Fred said.
         “They’ll never believe us,” Bernard said.
         Of course, the doorman did stop them.  “Excuse me sirs, I don’t believe you paid for that.”
         “Yes we did...”
         Normally one would give up in such a situation, but determination had always been one of Fred’s top attributes.  Instead he attempted to run away...and given their current situation that obviously didn’t work out too well.