Daisy

Am I supposed to miss you as much as I do?
Are tears designed to burn scalding paths on my face?
Can I not be allowed to forget you now that you have gone and given up on my realm?
My race
For time.
Time means nothing to you now; but it never did.
I know time.
Know it well. I know the days melt into each other and the nights were never long enough
That I could have spent them with you.
I know the moments were there one minute and gone the next.
I know I needed, wanted to be there to hold you and to show you the days and the nights
And the stars and the trees.
But you saw them all yourself while I was working. Or sleeping.
I watched you as you willingly shunned me.
You watched as I willingly shunned you as a pay back.
No, no regrets. No remorse.
We deserved what we gave.
But I did not deserve your silence.
Never telling me where you were going.
Never returning.
Ever again.
I did not ask to be reminded that I might lose you.
I did not ask that I find you, still. So still that you would never share another meal.
Never share another day.
Another star.
Another stupid TV show.
Another night on the warmth of my bed.
Tears abrade.
Your memory abrades.
I loved you so completely.  So utterly. Didn’t you know that?
Damn you Daisy!
Damn you for you.
Damn you for letting me love you as much as I do.
You could have told me the day I found you that you wouldn’t be around for much longer than a minute.
You could have spared me the heartache and the grief.
I’m very glad you didn’t.
I’m very happy you walked into my life and shunned me.
I’m very glad you disobeyed me and did not answer me when I called your name.
I’m so very happy you loved me as much as I love you.
Daisy Lady. Little cat.
Tread happily upon your realm and as you pad softly across my heart again and again, you’ll know
The memories I keep there are all I need.