The Dammed

It's not the same as writer's block. It presents the same result but comes from somewhere very different. Like hairs in a drain that bind together to prevent anything from passing through the path. I have these moments where I feel as though I could write an entire book in one sitting but then I come upon that frightful first blank page. I make the mistake of being aware of it. Seeing that page is deadly because then I don't see anything else. Everything that comes to mind seems somehow worthless and mundane. I'm not one of those people who need to be original. I don't have to stand out and be noticed and have the most insightful and profound observations, BUT if it isn't interesting then why write it? What's the point?

In fact, I'm quite the opposite. I like being able to swim through a crowd unnoticed. It makes me feel normal to blend in. People can't hear my thoughts. They don't see what I see and that comforts me. Of course, I can't always see what they see, either, and that unnerves me upon a occassion. It's very hippocritical to want to understand others without their having knowledge of my self, I think. Or, maybe it's selfish. I don't know, but I usually keep such thoughts to myself.