Fun With Homonyms

Fun With Homonyms

I was looking through the ads for something to buy,
I needed an adze so badly, I thought I would cry
I didn’t want to err when I chopped my tree limbs down
Afraid they would catch air, fly off and hit the town.

As one fell it swooshed!, and made such a sound aloud
Man, I was having more fun than should be allowed
I chopped up the limbs and made a wooden altar,
But out crawled a spider; and my decision did alter.


I have arachnophobia, that spider looked awful
I hit it hard with my shoe; it became offal
What I’d done was just cruel, I felt so bad
Wrapped it up in some crewel, t’was all I had.

With it bundled up well, it had plenty of flecks
I tried to pick it up, but my back wouldn’t flex
Instead I stooped; then smelled a stench so foul
Something was rotten, it was an offending fowl.

Not just one, for I spied several flocks,
Luckily I found a large spray of red phlox
Out ran a hare from around the bend
Startled me badly, my hair stood on end.

Chasing the hare was a spotted gray horse
“Stop!” I yelled; and instantly became hoarse
It ran quickly past, its mane stiff in the wind
But my main concern, was would my back ever bend.

Trying to stand up, I fell on my humerus,
That hurt a lot, it certainly wasn’t humorous
Those flowers I found weren’t fully grown
But dang, I hope this poem hasn’t made you groan.

Jim Dorrell
11/3/10