DO I LOOK FAT IN THESE JEANS?

You know who you are....you have your high school reunion in 2 weeks and you have to jog off the 30 lbs your classmates remember you as not having.  You drink coffee for a week and exercise feverishly in hopes of hearing "OH MY GOD! You look amazing, how do you do it?"....Maybe you'll go that extra 5 and wear the jeans you saved from high school.  Wow, that would be something huh?



Statistically, men and women (women far outweighing men) go on what I like to call "the event" diet. In 2 months she's getting married so she begins her new diet in hopes of fitting into the size 2 Vera Wang dress she's going to wear.  Now, this is fine if you're naturally a size 2, gained a few pounds, and want to get back on the ball.  But here's a reality check for the size14 woman who's convinced she can lose the weight without dying of a heart attack after a 70 lb weight loss in 2 months in addition to the fact that if she's lucky enough not to die, she'll gain back the weight and then some in the time it takes her to zip up that dress.  The delusions are stunning.


I shake my head when I hear people say "well, I went on Atkins for 6 months and I'm fatter than I was before I started the program", same for Nutrisystems, Jenny Craig, the old trusty WW, you name it, they're on it, and they're actually shocked by the fact that they're bigger than they were before their new "way-of-life diet".  IT’S CALLED DISCIPLINE PEOPLE! You can't go on a trendy weight loss plan, double up on the meal or add another pseudo Snickers to your day because it's from the plan's menu and actually believe you’re going to lose weight.  Look, you and I both know you do NOT need someone to make you little black trays of pasta...or dump 12 circles of Cheerios imposters in a bag to make you feel like you're "doin' it".  The reality is THEY’RE doing you!


The bottom line is you are all addicts.  You've burned your bridge to willpower and accountability, and if you’re content with that then please….AND I STRESS PLEASE…do not ask me if you look fat in that dress.

By: Liz Albani