11- year - old diary entry.

This morning I have been cleaning out the boxroom. In the very back of the room, there was an old cardboard box, chock - a - block with schoolbooks. I removed the Sello-tape away from the flaps on the top of the box so that I would be able to browse the box without getting any of the tape stuck to my shirt sleeves! I found folders full of school handouts, dusty books and copybooks with yellowing pages. I also found a copybook full of essays of when I was fourteen, the fourth year in secondary school. The first essay was "Write a diary entry in which you describe a place you would love to live in." I remember I had worked hard at that essay and probably I ran out of point because of the wild imaginative things I included in this essay. I got a "B" and got really disappointed!!! The following is the essay, copied from my copybook.



" 5th October 1999,



Dear Diary,

Isn't our old Earth boring? For me it's always the same routine - school, home, back to school the very next day and home again. Exciting....

You know, sometimes I let myself go into a swirl of daydreams, imagining my future dream home. A simple hut made of mud and sticks, with enough space for me to sleep into. The hut is situated in an enormous bay covered with beautiful red sand. The weather is always sunny and hot, and I would bathe in crystal clear turqouise waters, each day. I would stand at the edge of the bay feeling the cool waters rushing up my feet, basking in the sun every afternoon, to get a tan, and in the evening I would watch the light of the setting sun play on the swirling waves of waters.

Of course, there s no one living here, just me, but I find my friends in the never ending jungle just a few miles away from the bay. The cheeky monkeys hidden away in the leafy, green trees, or hanging about by their tails to a branch of a gnarled tree.Hissing snakes twisting here and there in the long, green grass. Birds chriping and flying sweetly in the skies. Superbe!

Sometimes while laying in the warm afternoon sun, the heat does the better of me and I fall asleep, dreaming about large fishes, coming to take me away in the eye-popping undersea world, where I would discover long lost place that archeologists wouldn't even dream about. Beautiful glittering temples under the water, the sun shining on to them through the waves, creating a rippling rainbow on the stone walls. I would be introduced to strange species of fish nobody knows about and go for rides on flying fish which can fly up over the moon and away from our galaxy.

But, dear diray, sometimes a nosy teacher would nudge me so harshly that POOF goes my beautiful hut, away goes my imaginary beach and the jungle and all my animal friends disappear! And I return to boring, old Earth!"



Okay, that was the essay, what do you think about it, what did it have wrong? Please review.