Hope

I start to feel that little stir and

Hope pops out her head.

I chastise her relentlessly

Until she runs away instead.



Such a foolish little girl,

That Hope, with all those dreams

Sigh... If only life could be

The way she makes it seem.



But I know better now,

So I keep her at bay.

I am so above her game,

that I refuse to play.



But she's always right there peeking,

Trying to make me think,

That maybe, just maybe,

She's the missing link.



Sometimes I really have to fight,

Not to let her sink in.

But I can always remind myself,

Every place I thought she'd been.



Every lie that she has told me,

Every night I've spent alone.

The times I've needed her to show me,

Are the times she's never home.



How can she ask so much of me?

I'm afraid to even move.

Give me something solid Hope,

Something to hold on to!



She offers me no solace,

No accompanying guarantee.

She tries to make me take a step,

Though my feet I cannot see



She pokes her head out less these days,

But I guess I'd stay scarce too,

If every time I came around

I was told to shoo.



She just doesn't get it.

She is soo naive.

And then she tries to act like

The fool in this is me!



I do miss Hope, though,

When she's not around.

At least she brings a smile

Just before the frown.



I can't get Hope figured out,

I don't know why she stays.

I don't how she keeps that shine,

On the dirtiest of days.



But I don't feel so shiny,

Wallowing in this pit.

It makes me feel so hateful.

It makes me want to spit.



She keeps holding out her hand,

I almost take it every time.

How I wish that I'd just go with her,

That I could cross that line.



Someday I hope to grab her,

Until then, this game we play,

With intermittent Hope

In this world of ash and gray.