Clear and Strong, Ice

A dull pain spreads through my body. Embers burn my lungs with each shallow breath. The world is a haze. My body aches and burns, but my mind is clear and my heart cold. No amount of pain nor sickness can penetrate this unholy duo. For my whole life they have proven to be my downfall, and yet, they are my strongest tools in life.

It has never mattered what is happening to me or anyone else. Nor has the location of an event caused complication. At all times I wield my mind and heart with sure strokes. When my mind strikes the world is laid bare unto me. My heart is always ready to be used against a worthy foe. However, it has only found easy victims to sate it's thirst and only a few at that.

Crying. A girls stands before me quivering. Her eyes can no longer meet mine. If eyes were what I once had they have been replaced by impossibly vast glaciers. My heart has struck again. I do not recall what she has done to be rewarded with such terrible malice but my heart tells me she deserves it. My mind is still processing what my heart has done. It's conclusion will no doubt be in favor of the ice. Still shaking, the girl cannot seem to move. Her continued presence grates on my nerves and my heart tells me to unleash upon her once again. But my heart's thirst has been quenched for the moment. For I know it does not enjoy anything other than the initial kill, and kill it has. I stand to usher the dying doe from my room and she flinches away, still unable to meet my eyes. My mind interprets her action as an instinctual response to the anticipation of being hit. At the same time my mind decides that I do not care. I raise my arm and gesture to the door. She does not move. My heart is starting to smolder with anger and my mind is feeling the effects. The world begins to cloud over and become indistinct shades of gray. My will is the only tool I have left to keep these two beasts in check. For while my heart and mind are of me, they are not me. "Me" or "I" is an odd collection of experiences and genetic predispositions. "Me" is my will and above all things my will reigns supreme. Slowly the girl realizes that I could lose control and scar her anew both mentally and emotionally. I hold fast and do not move. Ever so slowly she begins to back out of my room with shuffling steps. My mind tells me that the simpering fool is gone. My heart is silent. I breath and reflect. Clarity infuses my mind as it replays the event over and over again. The ice has once again fallen into a long torpor. I feel regret for my actions and yet I feel exhilaration from the power and control I wielded over another. We have decided that this is a good day.