My Lawn

Psst. Come over here. I want to tell you something. Wipe that strange expression off your face, you look like you’ve never seen a talking squirrel before. Be quit and just listen, it’s important.

What’s with the new dog? Do you have any idea of the trouble he’s been causing? I was down on your lawn two days ago collecting nuts minding my own business, as usual, when I suddenly hear ‘yap, yap, yap’.  I turn around to see this Yorkie barreling down my six coming straight for me.  I nearly lost my nuts trying to escape.

Then yesterday, I was back on your lawn collecting grass for our nest. Everything was clear when I went out, so I figured you were just dog sitting a buddy’s dog. That would have been cool, helping out a buddy like that.  You’ve been a good neighbor to us, so we can make exceptions now and then.  But not so, when I have my cheeks stuffed full of grass I hear ‘yap, yap, yap’, look up and it’s the same flea bitten dog. I lost a few tail hairs, but that is getting way to close.

So I’m up in the tree out back and watch as you call him over and pick him up with one arm, stroke his head, and tell him what a good boy he’s been. Are you for real?  Good boy?  That good boy nearly killed me.

Now, I must insist that you get rid of your dog. Winter is coming and my family needs to gather food and bedding. We just can’t do that with your furball running around.  Get rid of your dog or we’ll get rid of you; we have our ways.  Go and think about it. I need to get some sleep.  Good night. 

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