Still Around

i waited out there everyday
i waited and you never came
i never saw that smile on your face
even though i waited all those days
and i still do;
i stand out there waiting just for you.
i fall among the crowd, standing unoticed
expecting you to show, eyes never losing focus
you never show
but i continue waiting even though i know
i lost the right to look upon you long ago.
This wait is worth that disappointing grip at heart
staring at that house makes it feel like we're less apart
and then come the tears of knowing your not very far
but the walls around you are able to keep us worlds apart.
i think that tugs at the heart strings the most
your right there but those metaphorical walls are keeping you enclosed
hiding you from me. keeping you safe from the unknown
holding back the monster you loved; the monster that has only grown.
the monster that laughs at the thought of you but cries within your prescence
then wishes to soak up in your smile's effervescence
but will never get the chance
ive lost all that i once had.
what happened to not dwelling on the past?
Sure i lost, but gained so much more
yet im still standing at your guarded walls, waiting at the door.
            waiting.
just as i always have before.