A Sky full of Stars

Author's note: First of all, this a mild case of a sister eventually falling in love with her brother. :) If it's not your thing, don't read it. But it's just a story of a girl about her hidden love.

A Sky full of Stars

“No matter how hard it is… I’ll bear with it because you’re my brother…”

         “Thercey… your brother will leave in two months right?” asked my best friend, Arianna.

         We are out at the park this late evening while waiting for my mother to finish her movie. I did not join because the theme was not appealing to me.

         I looked above at the dark sky. “Yes…” Ahh… Maybe it will rain because I cannot see any stars tonight.

         It is cold. The leaves of the small apple trees are swaying softly with the calm breeze of the wind. And just a few seconds ago, I saw my boyfriend walked down the street with his sister.

         “Hey, isn’t that Brad?” She looked me. “Why didn’t you call out for him or at least shouted a hello?”

         “Ha-ha… is there a need to do that? We always see each other at school… He might get tired of me.” I smiled briefly at her.

         “What? That’s impossible. He really loves you.” I saw she rolled her eyes from the corner of my eye.

         I just chuckled.

         “But…” she continued. “Do you still have feelings for him?”

         I looked at her perplexed. “Who?” Although I think I know who she pertained to.

         “Your br—“

         Bingo. “Ah… I’ll ask you… Pretend you don’t know anything about this hidden feeling of mine towards him… From an outsider’s view, what do you think when you see us together?”

         She scratched her head. “Huh? Ah… Well… I might think nothing is weird between the both of you… since you are good at hiding your feelings…”

         I smiled and looked down with my heart aching. “Ahh… Then that’s good… At least no one will suspect anything…”

         She sighed beside me and the swing where she sat made a noise. “But you are hurting yourself… You perfectly well know your love is—“

         “Forbidden… I know. Arianna… I also don’t like what I am feeling towards brother but… no matter how many times I tried to ignore this feeling of mine… It just wouldn’t vanish… I… I…” My vision started to blur. “…don’t know what to do anymore…”

         Arianna stood up from the swing and hugged me. “Thercey… don’t cry… I might cry too…”

         “Stupid…” I chuckled and wiped the tears that flowed down my cheeks.

         She grinned at me.

         I heard my mother called my name from the theatre’s front door.

         “See you tomorrow.” I bid farewell to Arianna.

         “Okay.”


         I was right. It did rain heavily last night but it lasted until morning while I had breakfast. Mother had no work today so no one was going to send me to school. Meanwhile, my brother with the car hadn’t gone home till now.

         “Do you want to skip classes?” Mother asked as she sipped her coffee.

         “Huh?” I turned to her. “No, I can’t. We have a test on Biology today. I already sent brother a message.”

         “Did he answer?”

         “No…”

         “Did you try calling him?”

         “No… I don’t have much load to call him now…” I sighed and looked out the window.

         “Get my phone. I’ll call him.” Mother said.

         I got her phone from the end table and handed it to her.

         “It’s already 7:50. The travel time is a bit long…” She said, her eyes glanced at the wall clock at her left.

         I walked near the window and searched for any sign of my brother. “If he’s still not here when the clock strikes 8:00, I’ll leave.”

         7:55; still no sign of brother. I could see my mother staring at me behind the newspaper she was holding every now and then. It was still raining heavily.

         Every toll of the clock I could hear. And every minute seemed long. At last, after the last sound of the clock, it was already 8:00. There is nothing I can do.

         I kissed my mother goodbye, grabbed my bag, wore my coat, and headed outside. But just as I was about to ride the first bus that stopped in front of me, someone shouted my name.

         “Thercey!” The man was smiling.

         It was brother.

         I could not decipher what I felt at the moment he called my name. My heart was in full bliss and I ran towards the car.

         “I’m sorry for being late. I was worried you might have left already. Thank goodness I made it.” He smiled apologetically, and we drove away.

         “No, it’s okay. He-he. I’m gladder you made it.” I could not stop grinning. And my heart was racing against my chest like it would burst out at any moment.

         He told me he slept over at his friend’s house because it was already late when the project they were doing was finished. And that he intended to go home early. But he overslept and woke up at 7:40. He saw my message and immediately drove off—so fast he forgot to reply to me.

         “It’s only 8:15. Ha-ha. I’m fast aren’t I?” he smirked; clearly pleased with himself.

         “Yeah, yeah. Bye brother.” I turned round and began to walk towards the school.

         “Wait!”

         “What?” I looked back at him.

         “Have you eaten breakfast? If yes, still accompany me.” He smiled.

         “No… I have to study Biology.” My chest felt heavy. I’m sorry to decline brother.

         He pouted. “My treat. Pretty please…?”

         I rolled my eyes. When will I learn to refuse my brother? “Fine.”


         Minutes later, we got ourselves a table for two at the Brisco. Brother already finished ordering so it was just us left. I am not nervous because I am used to brother around, instead, my heart is filled with joy.

         “Thercey, I’m going to leave you a few things to remember when I’m gone. You’re the type to take responsibilities as a burden.” He stared at me.

         “That’s not true.” I replied.

         “Liar.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyway, take care of mother for me. She’s old now—“

         “I know that! And I love mother very much.”

         “That’s good to know.” He smiled. “Check the house always because mother might forget to do it. Okay? And be responsible for yourself, don’t make mother worry for you—“

         My heart started to ache.

         “—be a good cousin to our cousins. And visit them from time to time—“

         It hurts that I could not say it to you brother.

         “—don’t hesitate to call me when there is an emergency—“

         Can I hold your hand for the last time, like those days when we were still kids?

         “—and when you feel lonely. Don’t hesitate, ever, to call for me. My little sister.” He patted my face and smiled.

         I grinned as wide as I could. “Yes… yes big brother… I’ll do all of that…” —even more; for you.


        I’ll be the best sister you will ever have.


         From the time brother stayed in our house, he was the one who did the cleaning, grocery. He took care of mother very much. I, on one hand, helped him as a good sister would have done. Whenever it rains hard, he always fetches me from school. Sometimes, before going home, he would treat me to dinner.

         I was very happy. But underneath that happiness, is the thought that my brother is going to leave for another country to support us.

         A day left before brother leaves this town. We had a party at home with all our relatives and close friends invited.

         I took a break and went outside to buy a gum and ease the tension in my heart. But brother saw me and went along with me to the store.

         “Why did you left?” brother asked. “We’re having a good time.”

         “Nothing… I just want a gum…” I said in monotone without looking at him.

         I heard his sigh.

         We were already on our way back when he took me for a swing in the park. I hesitated at first but he managed to drag me.

         We sat on separate swings; unlike before, the other was always at the back of the other to push.

         “We used to play here a lot.” He said cheerfully. “Don’t you miss those times?”

         I lowered my head a bit. “Yes… I miss those times….”

         There was silence around. The wind is warm against the skin, and the skies are full of stars.

         It will not rain—so I cannot cover the tears that swelled up in my eyes.

         “Thercey…? Thercey…?” He tried to brush my hair that covered my face but I pushed his hand away and stood up.

         “Let’s go… They’re waiting for us…”

         He sighed and wrapped his arms around me. His warmth gave me peace but my heart did not stop aching.

         “I’m sorry… I had been avoiding it all this time…” He spoke.

         My eyes widened. What…?

         “I know that sooner or later, your heart cannot keep it anymore. But I was cruel and pretended I did not know anything… I’m really sorry…”

         “What…?”

         “I was afraid to talk to you about this. Because I don’t know what will happen after we talk. Will our relationship stay like before? Will you ignore me? I was so confused…”

         I slowly escaped from his hug. “What are you… talking about?”

         “I knew it from the start… that you love me… beyond as a brother…” He looked down.

         I could see the visible pain on his face. “You knew…?”

         “But Thercey… Even if we defy the odds, even at the end, no matter how it hurts to admit, we cannot be together…”

         Tears swelled up in my eyes again and it streamed down on my cheeks. He was crying, too.

         “Maybe we are just not meant to be in this life… When we die, we might be born again. And I hope in that new life of ours, we can finally be together. Not as brother and sister but as lovers…” He held my hand shakily; his head still lowered.

         “I’m sorry that I cannot return your feelings… but I want you to remember something forever… This will be the first and last time I will say this… I love you…”

         We cried together tonight for long I do not know. We made a promise that once this day ended, we go back to being brother and sister; and pretend this never happened.

         
         Years passed after brother left. He came back four years ago and married his long time girlfriend, Brenna. She is living with us now with their three year old son, Cale. Mother’s health have deteriorated over the years but her spirit is as high as the sky. As for me, I graduated from college; and am currently working as the mayor of our town. And just a few months earlier, I and Brad planned to marry and start our own family as well. Whenever I have the time, I call brother and let Cale speak to him. He is very happy.

         I am pleased of what have turned out. I can say I am also happy. I help take care of their child when Brenna’s at work.

         But this is what I have discovered:

No matter how many years will go by, I will still love my brother with all of my heart.