The Eulogy

Here lies a man who gave up on life; a life much longer than he deserved.

Here lies a man whose profession was drinking, his past-time too. He was an alcoholic, something he all too readily reminded people of. They say the first step is to admit you have a problem but he used it as his scapegoat, his actions was the drink’s fault, not his own. With that out of the way he drank and debauched to his heart’s content and his liver’s ruin.

Here lies a man who treated people horrendously. He was abusive: two wives fled his presence after years of physical and emotional torment. He threatened them violence and followed through on his threats. His self-esteem came from their fear, but it was short-lived because his failings remained, so the abuse continued until they left him. They bore the brunt of his ire and disappointment with himself. He spoke ill of all those around him, he never had a kind word about anyone; that would draw too much attention to his own inadequacies.

Here lies a man without principles or pride. He didn’t contribute a penny to the raising of his children, all his money went on booze. He didn’t think that he needed to be a role model, someone for his sons to look up to. He didn’t recognize that he needed to be a better man for the sake of his family. He saw no problem visiting them drunk and dishevelled, can of beer forever sticking out of his pocket, spouting lies and profanities about how he was a victim of circumstance and nothing in his life was his fault. He once said that his only regret was that he’d never been with a prostitute. That’s a hell of a regret given the life he led.

Here lies a man who was the perfect argument for abortion; this drunk, lazy, fat, cowardly, abusive, miserable affront to the human race. He was weak and rotten to the core. He was a waste of breath in life and a waste of these words in death. Here lies a man who wasted his life and nobody is sorry he’s gone.