Afraid

I am afraid of lots of things.

I am afraid of responsibilities. I am afraid that I may break something. I am afraid of being in the frontier and being the first who will face the problem. I am afraid of blames.

I am afraid of possibilities. I am afraid that things may not turn out the way I want them to be. I am afraid of what things may become and what they may not. And that when they finally become the ones I want them to become, I may realize that they are not what I thought I wanted them to be.

I am afraid of the society. I am afraid of its great adherence to stereotypes and its narrow mindedness. I am afraid that I can not please everybody. And I am afraid there isn't anybody I can please.

I am afraid of other people. I am afraid of their tendency to compare. I am afraid of not meeting expectations.

I am afraid of faith because it requires ignoring what you see and putting your everything into something which may not be true.I am also afraid of hope because it means giving even when you have already run out of everything. And I am afraid of love because it means accepting both hope and faith.

But most of all, I am afraid of myself. I am afraid of my weakness because it can render me useless. And I am afraid of my strength because it can spoil me. I am afraid of the fact that I am their masters yet both of them can consume me.

I am a puzzle. I am every piece of it. I am scattered. I am afraid that I may not possibly put myself together.
But I am more afraid of the possibility that when I finally somehow manage to do that, there will not be an image my pieces can create.