We Left You Out

We were only about five or six then, only just starting school. But already most of us were choosy when it came to friends. There was this girl. Let's say she's called Hayley...

She was slow kind of, and all the girls and boys in the class used to laugh at her. She used to learn her lessons slower than us, which often made it easier for us to bully Even at five, I felt sorry for her but I didn't know of any means of how to get my own new friends to play with her too at recess.



Very often I used to look at her from a distance. Those times, my eyes were sharper and I could clearly see her trying to get in a game of 'Police and Robbers.' They would obviously say "No" in her face and run away. Those are the kinder kids. The others would put her as a police and since she didn't run fast enough they would call her rude names and sometimes even hurt her.

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It was lunch time and Hayley didn't have anything to eat. Probably she was late for school and there was no time for her mother to make her lunch, I had reasoned. Today I think differently. Perhaps she had other problems at home. Maybe not. But let's go on.

The teacher used to make us sit at circular tables, where there was sufficient space for four children. I used to sit with my two best friends, a boy and a girl. Since Hayley was always alone, the teacher made her sit at our table.

I remember well how she looked longingly at us eating our sandwiches with gusto, her big blue eyes hungrily eyeing our lunchboxes. Without hesitation I gave her one of my sandwiches. She immediatly took it, politely said thank you and smiled at me. My friends apparently didn't approve of that and I finished up alone in the break.

Sitting on the bench which was reserved for the big kids who behave badly, I cursed the moment I shared my lunch with Hayley. Even if I felt sorry for her, I was angered that because I was kind to Hayley, I lost my friends.

After a few moments, Hayley crept near me and asked if she could spend the break with me. I said "NO" and pushed her. I was always fiery tempered and still am. Infact, at fourteen I find it hard to control my cutting tounge and fists.

Hayley fell over and started to cry.

The teacher came over and punished me. He went over to Hayley and to my surprise, Hayley hugged the teacher. I never knew of any child hugging his teacher, especially a strict, male teacher who was reknowned all around the school as serious and unkind.

After that I made friends again with two other girls.

Hayley spent her lunchtime alone.

She payed my rudeness with kindness. She invited me for her birthday party while I pretended I forgot the date. I could see she was feeling sadder as time went by but I never did anything to cheer her up.



Being of an age where I can think over things, I realised how ashamed I ought to be. Hayley was not a bad sort. She could have been a happy child despite her condition - if only we could have accepted her. I feel especially guilty because of all I did to her.





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Today I know I'm never going to see her again. Her lovely blue eys and shoulder length blonde hair, framing her chubby pink face, her lovely smile and polite manners are all a memory of the past. I recently heard she had some serious illness and left us.....