MIND SPEAK

She wakes up with a start only to find that she can oversleep, still 10 minutes to go before the hurricane affairs of the day presses upon her. It's the same everyday. How she wished it were a holiday, these thoughts crossed her mind as she cuddled to the pillow and realised that she had only 5 more minutes of leisurely sleep left.
Why had life to be a time clock? She loathed at life being so mundane.
Before long the breakfast was prepared, the children attended to and she herself was ready for work.
It has been two years now that she has been managing things on her own literally, while her husband, Shamit keeps the kitchen fire burning, virtually. Shamit had to leave India for some quaint Nigerian town for a job which he couldn't afford to leave. They were great paymasters, he said. It was hard on the petite Anoushka to accept his reasons but yield she had to. He knew how to woo her to his side.
Tears well up in her eyes whenever she remembers how Shamit had promised to look for greener pastures in India within a year and end this exile for the couple.
The children aged six and two didn't miss their father as much though. She thought at times, were children not as sensitive as adults? Why didn't her daughter, Ria aged six pine for her father as much?As for the younger one, Ritwick, Shamit wasn't even an acquaintance to him, he was just three months old when his father preferred Eldorado to staying in India with a few dollars less in his locker.
Such reveries filled her waking hours. She had to shuttle between the creche, the elder kid's school, her part time job and home. She could sparsely find time for herself.
Thank God! It's Sunday. As she relaxed on the settee with her morning cup of tea she felt within her a sense of happiness which had something to do with the happy sunshine on her verandah and the morning breeze caressing her. It was autumn now and the Durga Pujas were just round the corner. What excited her all the more was that Shamit was due for his homecoming in a month. She resolved once again to play it tough on him. This grass widow kind of status had to end for her. She has been cajoling him to think about better options in all their conversations over the few months, so he must be prepared with his defence, she guessed. She could manage with a smaller family income she chided herself, it won't matter as much. But without her husband things were getting tougher. She squirmed as she thought of the advances of Sil, the office superintendent which had to be resisted every day. It was no mean feat for a woman in her late twenties with no husband to fight back men who thought they needed to be her savoir.
The tinkle of her cellphone made her jump out of her stupor. Samit never called at this hour, her father too was not an early riser. She ran into the kitchen where she had left her phone. It really was Samit. The conversation was short. He would call back he said. Some change of plans was forcing him to come home earlier. He would be flying down to Delhi day after tomorrow. Anoushka would have been celebrating the news but for his tone. She knew something was wrong. She could sense tension from that taut tone which Samit rarely used unless things were awry.She didn't have the mettle to ask more, she never pestered him when he pulled up the curtains around him. She had come to know that he preferred it that way. Left to himself, he would recover, come out of his cocoon and confide in her.
The first sight of Samit after such a long time didn't evoke any emotions in her, she was too numb to react actually. It was only when she was in his arms that she felt the tears hurting her eyes. Being in the folds of his arms meant such reassurance, such comfort, she went through such range of emotions within seconds.
The first fortnight flew off like a wind. Anoushka found herself even more tired each day after having served countless cups of tea, coffee and delicacies to the visitors, relatives and friends who poured in to their nest after Samit's homecoming.
She earnestly looked forward to the Puja holidays which were due in a couple of days.The children were adjusting to the new member in their household. While Ritwick was yet to extend an olive branch to his father and reluctant to allow the intruder to share his home, Ria was enjoying being pampered by herv father. She was the doting daughter who was being often treated to gifts of toys, dolls and books by her father.
The nights were warmer for Anoushka now. The couple would light up in unison as if they had gone back to their honeymoon days in Nainital when the world was younger and merrier.
Something was amiss though, she felt it deep within. She knew it from the distant look in Samit's eyes at times and the way he snapped off at times. She knew he was avoiding something, holding back something from her. At times she was drowned by such menagerie of emotions for Samit which betrayed her unconditional love for him. She was sure that there was some part of Samit she was yet to unravel. This time, he was even elusive in discussing his future plans; he hadn't even given away his date of departure to Nigeria.She decided to broach the issue with him during the holidays.
The city had decked up for the Pujas and the spirit of good cheer easily caught on Anoushka. She usually felt happy at this time of the year and it was all the more special for the presence of Samit. She had attended to the shopping with care squeezing out time from her frantic schedule and was just waiting for the final five days when she would have a chance to show off her city to Samit. Samit was alien to the culture of this city as he had to battle with a diaspora of Bengali as well as north Indian culture having been born in a Bengali family ,brought up in Uttar Pradesh and therafter Delhi during his formative years. His lost his parents in a tragic accident two years after their marriage. They were returning to Delhi after a visit to the Kumaon hills when the death in the form of the deadly gorges of the gusty hills embraced them. Anoushka had to mother an inconsolable Samit for months. She still shuddered as she reminisced those sleepless nights when he would be up all night with a blank look on his face, staring at the skies, completely oblivious of the hour of the day.
It was Sasthi which set the bells for the Pujas ringing. The Bengalis all over the world waited every year for these five days of divinity to grace up their lives. Anoushka woke up early as usual to find the sun's golden rays flooding every bit of earth in an attempt to purge and enlighten the least fleck of dirt and darkness. She felt unnecessarily happy and light at the thought of visiting the shrine of the goddess with her children and husband to offer her prayers. The goddess alighted from her heavenly abode to bless the mortals on earth with four of her children in tow every year in autumn.The idols were immersed in the holy water of Ganga after five days, leaving behind a teary group of women bidding adieu to their "Maa" and joyous crowd of teenagers and youth dancing on their way to the immersion ghat, with promises to greet" Maa" with familiar fervor the next year.