Candi from Hell

Author's note:  This is a pre-review draft.  It almost certainly will be going through revisions as I (hopefully) get feedback.  I'm a newbie writer so any advive would be appreciated.

                                  Candi From Hell



Thursday August 26, 2010
Posted By Kelljoy at 4:20 AM

Wow, what a night! I was coming out of the gym after my evening workout.  This young hottie came up to me and wanted to go somewhere and have a drink. As always, I obliged the lady.  Then the cool part happened.  As we were walking past an alley I noticed this incredible babe being harassed by a gang of punks. 

She had the most amazing body I had ever seen.  Her short skirt showed off a pair of fantastic legs; long and tan.  Her breasts, while not the biggest, were shown off to perfection by her top.  Her brown spiky hair highlighted an almost angelic face.

Since there were only five attackers I didn't see any reason to call for help. Being a gentleman, I told the first hottie to get lost and went to help the mega-hottie. As expected, the resulting fight was completely one-sided.  The punks never had a chance against a martial-arts master like myself.

Afterwards, Candi, the mega-hottie explained the attack was just a random mugging.  She asked if I could take her home with me.  I could see she wanted me.  I have that effect on women. Unfortunately, this presented a problem.

As you all know, I allow my aged mother to live with me.  She can't get by on her own, so I feel I owe it to her.  She's not good with new people and is uncomfortable when I bring friends home. However, Candi insisted it had to be my place so I finally gave in.

Well, needless to say, Candi was fantastic. Afterwards, I kicked her out the door.  She pleaded with me to let her stay, but I wouldn't listen.  Like I said, I have that effect on women.

***

"You've got to be kidding me! That tub of lard is the Key?"  Candi watched horrified as an obese middle-aged man in a grease stained t-shirt walked out of the comic book shop.  He looked like he'd never even heard of a gym, much less set foot in one.  Fast-food places he was obviously familiar with.

She checked the talisman again to be sure. Nope, it followed him as he walked away. Oh well, there went the chance of mixing any pleasure with business.  At least she would have an easy time getting him to take her home.  A guy like that would follow any skank who showed interest.  Case in point, the one whispering in his ear right now.

Said skank led her target into an alley.  Candi broke into a run knowing what she'd find when she rounded the corner. Fortunately, there were only five of the expected thugs.  At first, she hesitated, not sure how to act.  The studly "Key" solved her problem for her by fainting as soon as one thug drew a knife.

A blast of hell-fire sent the knife wielder sailing.  With no witnesses, Candi was free to be herself.  The attackers quickly dropped their guises as well.  Now, the problem was keeping fatso alive.  Fortunately for her, her brother had sent not only weak demons, but stupid ones.  They could have fled; they could have tried to kill their intended prey; they chose to all attack her instead. 

After making sure all remaining demon parts were incinerated, she resumed her human disguise.  She slapped her brave hero until he came around.  He came to with a start.  "Where are they?  Where are the muggers?"

"You were alone, I'll bet that police car that just drove by scared them off."

"Oh, that must be it." He paused and then grinned. "I'm Kellvin" he said, speaking directly to her chest.

"I'm Candi." She put on her best smile, knowing he was barely aware of her face.  "Now, I'm calling an ambulance for you.  You fainted, you need to be checked out."

As expected, he declined.  "Well then, I'm at least calling a cab and making sure you get home safely."  He started spouting off some nonsense about letting his mother live with him.  But Candi insisted. She had to get inside his home.  She just hoped she wouldn't have to enter his bedroom.  The thought made her shudder.

The cab ride to his house was quiet.  Kellvin spent the time with his mouth open, staring.  Apparently, talking to attractive women live and in person wasn't a strong suit of his.  Candi thought about trying to put him at ease, but decided "screw it".

She still wasn't sure how she was getting inside, but Kellvin surprised her by actually working up the courage to ask her.  She almost reminded him about his mother, but she caught herself.  The last thing she needed was to let her fish off the hook.

The house was dark, but as soon as they entered it became brightly illuminated.  "Damn it Kellvin, I've told you to stop bringing whores home with you."

"B..b..but mom", he stammered.  "This one isn't a whore."

"Don't lie to me boy, I've got eyes.  Oh well, knowing you, you've already paid her.  Just make it quick and get her out of here."

Poor Kellvin simply hung his head down and led her down a flight of stairs to the basement.  That seemed to be the part of the house where he lived.  Candi actually felt a twinge of remorse for the way she'd been thinking about him.

Not wanting to know why she'd been invited down, Candi got right to the point.  "Here's the deal Kellvin, that mugging wasn't random.  It was a deliberate assassination attempt."

"Yeah right, then what stopped them from succeeding."

"I did."

Instead of replying, he just stared at her and then started laughing.  "I'm serious" she tried to insist, but he just kept on laughing at her. 

She should have known better, but the laughing made her angry.  She dropped her human disguise.  Her skin turned a bright crimson; horns protruded from her forehead; her tail was plainly visible.  Kellvin stopped laughing.

"You're a demon" he struggled out, "Get out".  His face had a look of abject horror.

"Don't worry Kellvin, I'm here to help you."

"You're a Demon!"  This time he screamed the words.  She tried to calm him down but he kept yelling the same thing over and over.  Realizing the futility of the situation she gave up and left.  There was no way she could calm him down enough to open the portal tonight.  As she went out the front door, she heard his mom yelling something about not even getting his money's worth.

"Damn it to Heaven".  She'd been so close and now had no idea how to proceed.  Her only real hope was that Kellvin would be coherent in the morning.  He'd better be; her brother's first attackers were picked because he didn't think they would face any opposition.  Balthus wouldn't make that mistake again.

***

Thursday August 26, 2010
Posted By Kelljoy at 4:03 PM

Guys. you'll never believe this.  Candi from last night is evil. I mean really really EVIL; as in actual hell-spawn.  No, I'm not kidding, this is real.  That whole attack in the alley was faked so she could get me to take her home and have her way with me.  Apparently she was supposed to kill me afterwards, but I completely wore her out and she didn't have enough strength left.

Turns out that I'm the Key.  I had a hard time believing it too. You see there's this portal to Hell right here in my basement. I'm currently the only thing keeping it closed.  I die, the underworld has free reign on Earth.  How cool is that?

I found all this out from Hallelujah.  Wish I could take a picture of her, but she said an Angel won't show up on a camera. That's right, I said Angel.  Halley is the most gorgeous creature ever.  Her hair is long and golden and almost seems to have a glow surrounding it.  Her face is stunningly beautiful.  Her knockers are absolutely ginormous.

She said that the demons will keep coming after me unless I close the portal permanently.  I'm not afraid of any demons, but she pointed out that given enough tries one might get lucky.  I decided it was best to humor her and do things her way.  I mean, I could see she wanted me. 

So, she laid out her plan.  She wanted to close the portal right then, but I pointed out that there was a problem. We had to capture Candi and put her through first. I couldn't leave an Evil Demoness running around loose in the city.  It's too bad though.  Candi's a truly awesome piece of ass.

Halley agreed with me.  She said she wanted to get some demon restraints, just in case.  I didn't think they would be necessary, but anything to make Halley feel safer.

Anyway, I'll let you guys know later how it goes.  And just to be clear, as usual I'm deleting any comments that call me a liar.

***

Kellvin opened the door in his underwear.  Halley either didn't notice or didn't seem to care.  "Peace be with you Kellvin Black, my name is Hallelujah. I've come to protect you from the demons who you threaten."

It took Kellvin a second to process this.  "I threaten them?!?"

"Yes Kellvin, allow me to come in and I'll explain things to you."  Halley didn't wait for a reply but brushed by him and entered anyway.  "Where can we talk?"

"Um, downstairs."  Halley followed him down. The room they entered was strewn with pizza boxes, old burger wrappers, and other significantly less identifiable garbage. "I, uh, don't get a lot of visitors."

"That's all right", Halley smiled radiantly, "For someone as special as you I can forgive a little clutter."

Kellvin cleared off a spot for them to sit on the love seat.  Halley meanwhile cleaned off the other chair for herself.  "I know this is hard for you to accept Kellvin, but you are a very important person.  You already know that demons are after you; what you don't know is why.

You see, there's a portal to Hell here in your basement.  You are the Key to that portal.  As long as you remain alive, the portal remains shut; unless you willingly and intentionally open it.  If you die now, before a new Key is born, the portal will be opened and the hell-spawn will have full access to our world. You can see how that would be bad."  Again Halley smiled and Kellvin nodded.

"Fortunately, as an Angel, I can close Hell portals if they are willingly opened by the Key. If you open the portal, I'll seal it and you won't have to worry about demons any more."

Kellvin jumped up, "Let's do it now.  Tell me how to open the portal."

"Not so fast, we have a problem.  Remember, Candi, the demoness who went home with you last night.  She was supposed to kill you.  I've no idea why she didn't, unless you uninvited her."

"Well, I did tell her to get out. But, I thought the whole inviting thing only worked with vampires."

"No, it works with demons too, but only if the person telling them to leave is really strong and courageous.  Anyway, if we close the portal with Candi on this side, she'll never rest until one of you is dead.  We have to capture her and put her through the portal. Then I can close it for good." 

She held up what looked like a pair fur-lined fetish cuffs, some bondage straps, and a ball gag.  "These angelbonds will strip a demon like her of all her powers while she's wearing them.  It will be a simple matter for me to subdue her once we find her and these will ensure that she is no longer a threat."

"But, won't that be dangerous.  Can't we just kill her first."

For the first time, a quick shadow of disappointment played across Hallelujah's face and then she was smiling again.

In an almost disapproving voice she replied, "No Kellvin, that would be wrong.  No matter how evil she is, Candi is still a sentient being.  I can defend against demons that attack, but I can't kill one just because it would be easier."

"Oh", Kellvin muttered, "sorry."

"No need to be, no matter how extraordinary you are you're still only human.  First thing tomorrow, you and I will start walking around town, we should attract Candi and her minions eventually.  Then capturing her will be child's play."

***

Candi had been watching Kellvin's house since shortly after she'd walked out.  Given how late his light was on, he was probably still asleep.  She watched his mom leave and decided to give it a shot.  But, a familiar looking blonde figure beat her to the door.  She left little doubt as to her identity when she turned and waved directly at the car Candi was watching from before ringing the bell. That bitch Hallelujah! What the Heaven was she doing here?

This was purely an internal Hell matter; Heaven had no stake whatsoever.  Either the portal would be sealed with Kellvin's death like Balthus wanted, or Kellvin would let her through and she'd seal it from the other side like she wanted.  One way or the other it was getting sealed.  Even if it wasn't, so what?  The other side would remain guarded. No agent of Heaven was ever slipping through this portal unnoticed.

Ultimately, the only things actually at stake were her reputation with the Council and Kellvin's life.  She couldn't see anyone from Heaven caring about either.  But, whatever Halley's game was, it wouldn't involve actually murdering Kellvin herself and it was doubtful that confronting her in front of Kellvin would produce any useful results.  So, the only thing to do was watch and wait for Halley to leave and then confront her.

Well, so much for that idea; there was no sign of Halley until the next morning.  Candi had spent the night trying to avoid thinking about why Halley had stayed overnight.  Given that the basement lights had gone off early instead of staying on all night, it was hard to avoid jumping to the obvious conclusion.  She just thanked Hell it wasn't her in there.

Candi was surprised to see Kellvin actually awake and dressed.  He and Halley headed out together and she watched the two of them get in Halley's car.  Behind Kellvin's back, Halley made a point of waving at her again.  Looks like she got to spend the day tailing them.

Apparently Halley's plan was to just walk around downtown and hope they attracted attention.  It didn't take long for them to pick up a pack of followers: the same five morons from two days ago.  Either Balthus was having trouble recruiting higher level demons or he was just being cheap.

Or, maybe, she'd actually gotten through to him. Her argument had been simple.  This was the 21st century; you couldn't just solve every problem by killing some human.  The other side had figured that out 2000 years ago.  The Council had grudgingly given her one week to try things her way. 

But, Balthus had argued, there was no reason to change policy.  Hell had always killed Keys when they were discovered; it was a simple elegant solution to the problem.  The fact that he was ignoring the Council and still trying to kill Kellvin seemed to indicate he knew he had a significant amount of support. If Kellvin wound up dead, Balthus won by default. It was unlikely the Council would allow her to try again with the next Key.

And yet, the attempts on Kellvin's life were pathetic.  Was Balthus just trying to save face while giving little sister a chance to succeed?  She'd have to ask him next time she saw him.  For now, she needed to keep an eye on Kellvin.

This time it was Halley leading Kellvin into an alley; their pursuers followed.  Candi held back.  The coming battleground put Halley between Kellvin and the demons.  They would have to get past her to get to him and Candi knew that that wasn't happening.

After a minute or two, she peeked around the corner.  The last demon was just being sliced in half with Halley's sword.  Even Candi had to admit she looked impressive with wings spread and her full heavenly glow shining.  Kellvin, for his part, remained bravely curled up and quivering on the ground.

Candi hurried back to her car.  She assumed that would be that for the days adventure. She still couldn't figure out what Halley was up to.  But, knowing that scheming bitch, it probably wasn't good. The last thing she expected was for Halley to appear in the passenger's seat next to her.

"Candara, dear, it's so good to see your snarling face again."

"Screw you Hallelujah, what the Heaven are you up to."

"Candi, sweetie, can't I stop and visit an old friend?  By the way, I absolutely love that outfit.  It's amazing what those humans will sell at thrift shops these day."

Candi didn't rise to the bait. "Get to the point, what possible interest could you have in Kellvin?"

"Well, you won't believe what happened the other day. I was just flying a routine patrol over the city when I saw him.  You'll never guess what was attacking that poor boy.  Demons!" Halley's eyes widened in feigned surprise. "Well, he got away from them that time, but I had to follow him to make sure he was all right."

It's a good thing that I did; the girl he went home with turned out to be a demon too.  Wow, I mean what are the odds?  Luckily he was able to banish her before she killed him."

"So, you were spying on us."

"Of course I wasn't spying." Halley acted shocked at the accusation. "I mean, being able to shrink to pin-head dancing size comes in handy, but I would never stoop to spying. I was just making sure that poor mortal was safe.  I just felt it was like my duty."

"Like sleeping with him?"  Candi couldn't resist trying to turn the tables and needle Halley for a change.  She should have known better.

Halley genuinely laughed. "Poor Candara, I can't believe even you would think I'd stoop that low.  After explaining your plot to kill him I shrunk and snuck out.  I didn't get back until a few minutes before you saw me leave.

"You told him I wanted to kill him?!?"

"Well yeah. Although I suppose I might have misread the situation.  My bad."

"Cut the crap, Halley.  You know I'm not buying it. Again, what do you want with Kellvin?"

"Fine, be that way.  I'm up for review in a few days and I needed a really big good deed.  Saving a mortal from a pack of demons definitely qualifies.  How often does a girl find herself a mortal in immediate demonic peril?"

"He wouldn't have been in demonic peril if you had told him the truth and had him open the portal for me."

Halley put on her best wide-eyed innocence look. "But Candara, honey, I couldn't possibly have known for sure you weren't trying to kill him.  The review board can't fault me for mistrusting a demoness."

Candi just shook her head. "So, what are you doing here with me now."

"Well, you see, I just had the most wonderful idea; I can't believe no one thought of it before. Instead of just letting Hell kill Kellvin, why don't I convince a Demon, you for example, to help me.  I'll convince him to open his portal. You go through and seal it.  It's win-win; we both get what we want."  Halley absolutely beamed at her own cleverness.

As usual, Candi had to fight hard to resist the urge to throttle her.  "Yeah Halley, It's amazing no one else thought of that."
 
"OK, good. Put these on."  Halley held up the bondage gear she'd shown Kellvin with a big smirk on her face.

Candi was actually shocked.  "Why in Heaven would I put that on?"

"Um, because I told Kellvin that this gear strips you of your power.  Wearing this is the only way he'll be calm enough to open the portal in your presence.  I mean you did try to kill him after all.  Plus, you'll look adorable."

Candi just glared. Halley had screwed with Kellvin's head so badly, she'd never get him to trust her. It was either let Halley humiliate her or let Balthus win and see her reputation with the council plummet.

"You fucking bitch," Candi spat out.  Halley continued to smirk.  "I guess I don't have a choice, I'll do it."

***

Saturday August 28, 2010
Posted By Kelljoy at 4:04 AM

WOW!!!  The battle was AWESOME!!!.  Earlier today, Halley and I went out to find Candi.  She said we would have to fight Candi's minions first; but I had no idea what we were in for.

We set up our position in an alleyway with only one exit and waited; Hallelujah stood behind me where she would be safe.  She brought a sword she inisted I use.  She said that even I couldn't handle the kind of army we would be facing today barehanded.  She's really smoking hot so I agreed to do things her way.

When the first five demons entered the alleyway I almost threw the sword away.  Sure they had fangs and claws, but none of them was over five feet tall.  But, more demons followed.  Some were at least ten feet tall; others were flying.  Every sort of grotesquerie was soon arrayed in front of me.  It looked like Hell was throwing its best at me.

Then they all rushed forward with a near-deafening roar.  I glanced over my shoulder and saw Halley shaking with fear.  I gave her my best reassuring smile and it seemed to help. Then I turned and got down to business.

I sliced through the first two demons that neared me and continued swinging.  I could hear Halley moving back to keep from being splattered with demon gore.  I, on the other hand, was soon completely covered.  Fortunately, my swordsmanship matches my skill at unarmed combat. 

Halley had been right, I really couldn't have handled them all without her sword.  It actually was kind of flattering that they had sent an entire army to try and kill me. After what seemed like hours, they stopped coming; turns out it had only been around one hour.

Halley practically flew into my arms.  She clung to me as tightly as she could and started sobbing.  "Oh Kellvin, I was so scared for you.  I need you to hold me in your big strong arms.  You are the most studly man I have ever met." she told me.

After I disentangled myself from her, I reminded her we still needed to find Candi. That turned out to be easier than I thought.  One lone snarling demoness appeared in the alleyway's entrance.  "I don't want to hurt you Candi, you're too good of a lay to waste."

Candi stopped snarling and looked defeated.  "I can't kill you, you're the best lover I've ever had.  No one else has ever come close.  I'll go with you and do what you want."  I thought about not putting the demon restraints on her, but I knew Halley wouldn't feel comfortable if we didn't.

Anyway, the whole portal opening and closing went off without a hitch.  When we first got back to my basement; Halley informed me that demons would show up when using a camera.  I managed to take a bunch of pics of Candi before chucking her through the portal; Halley insisted we kept her bound up the whole time. I'll post links to the pics after I'm done with this post.

As I kind of expected, Hallelejuh started ripping her clothes off as soon as the portal was finally closed.  I knew she had been wanting me from the start.  She was even more amazing than Candi had been.  She promised to keep in touch and she was so good I might actually let her see me again.

That's pretty much it.  The portal's closed; Hell is safely locked away. Just think, the whole fate of mankind was at stake; but all's well now.  You're welcome.