the uncertainty

what is there to do when your past haunts you every day and you cant change it? when your future is so uncertain you cant face it? when the present is un bearable to live it? the people around you know you but know nothing about you. they turn away when you need them most. the world so cold, cares little about you, or any one. happiness is a rarity now days and leads to ultimate suffering. i walk by you people everyday and you see me but you dont notice who i am. no one really knows any one, so how can we even say we know our selves?  the judgemental stares mean nothing when comparing to oppinions,so i give you all the cold shoulder you give me.you think im sad when i dont speak, ever thought i just might not have anything to say to all you savages who judge me for who you think i am. i dont know who i am so how can you? i move on day to day still with uncertainty following me every step of the way. if right and wrong is oppinion based, then whose to say what i do is right and whose to judge what i do is wrong? i cant get the past out of my head. my thoughts are full of what ifs and shoulda coulda wouldas. if you were still here would that cruel uncertainty still be there? would my future seem brighter or still as dull and blury as the midnight fog? i assume there is a reason we cant change what weve done or what has happend. the human race must move on, even at the worst of times. why does anything matter to you? my clothes merely cover gods creation why does it matter what clothes me? why do my words mean nothing but my so called rights and wrongs mean so much to you? the small things in life that i enjoy are differnt from yours, that makes you better than me? i was raised from a broken home and that makes me not even good enough to speak to you? thats exactly how this cold hearted world works. differences shouldnt be the barrior that sepparates humans, but it definiantly does. behind my back you speak of truthless tales. i dont retaliate to your simple minded selves. its me against the world. im afraid to say ive lost all hope in humanity. all good is gone. every thing is uncertain and that scares even the bravest kids. i try to speak up- speak outt .  society shuts me up. the world denies all trueth. what lies they feed you people. some know this just as i but unlike you i wont sit around and take it and live in the bitter uncertainty. im searching for a way out of this fog that gets thicker the longer im forced to stay. the uncertainty grows stronger and i become weaker. im almost out of fight. this is worth it. i know that. im running and running i find no escape. i yell for help and you sad people of this world deny my plead.  its hard to keep going and do this alone.... but i must. i must try.... for if i dont,,, this world and its harsh ways will consume me and i will become like you... a puppet of soceity. i follow the only light i see.... i run and i dont hold back. this is it . the fog gets thinner. i gasp for air as i reach the beam of light ive been searching for and see all the people i used to see every day drownd in the fog i try to help but no one wants it. does any one understand this!? im still alone. i stretch out my arm twords the bright lights. and everything gets clear. the old world long behind me as i leave the worries of the world. i finally get the reassuance ive been searching for- everythings going to be okay. love is real again.