As Bad As Life Is, It Could Be Worse.

I sit here in my rotating office chair and look out the window into a strange compelling world.
I am the Assistant manager of a Low Income hotel. I live on site, so I have gained a unique perspective
of the poor population of this area. Out this window I see the same people day in and day out walking
around like zombies. The same blank stare, the same I don't care attitudes. And it is easy to classify all of them the same way, but in reality that is not the way it is. Seven years I have been down here, me just as down and out as most of them. The biggest difference is I have a job, and I refuse to live off of society and not even try to better my life.

      But I have seen some wonderful people come and go through our doors. People who had it all, and lost it through no fault of their own. Some of them never recover, some move on and rebuild. And yes, we also have the stereotypical lifelong lazy people. The zero renters who want everything handed to them, who trash the units, can magically come up with beer money, but come ask me for a light bulb.
But believe it or not, they do not last long here. We do have some very strict and well enforced rules.
There are those that act tough, but get them talking and you see a whole other side. And I have to admit
that I am getting burned out. Especially when I see a guy holding a sign on the freeway making double what I am doing legitimate work. It is getting harder and harder to have compassion for some people. The what have you done for me lately tenants.
       
So I sit here day after day and contemplate the reality that some people just are not meant to be indoors. Some will get approved to rent here and stay through the winter and move on. Some will come in from the local shelter and make our lives miserable while they create disgusting messes, and do thousands of dollars in damage. Then they are kicked out on the street again and are happy with that.
So many different kinds of people, and not one of them  will tell you they wanted to be homeless when they grew up. Sometimes I think that all the stupid crap I did when I was young put me down here, and other times I wonder if I wound up here to teach me that everyone is someone, and not to judge to quickly. I myself am living paycheck to paycheck. Barely making ends meet at seven thirty five an hour. 

      And you know I never really thought about this until the recession hit. Wonderful, hard working Americans are losing so much. Families forced to live in motel rooms after their homes were foreclosed on. Losing their Health Insurance, stressed out to the point of insanity. What if their children get sick, what if the car breaks down, what if, what if.  We watch as bank execs get huge bonuses while  we bypass the name brands, and try to save with generic. Being threatened by credit card companies and collection agencies, not to mention the hundreds of scam artists that pop up with every new disaster.  It all scares me, and I have never really had all that much to lose.

Now that I am thinking about things like this I realize that I have a perspective that a lot of other people don't. I live in between
two worlds. By that I mean I have friends who own their own houses, drive nice cars, people who help me out because I help myself.  So I have seen that side of life, but on the other hand I live right in the thick of a world that Joe Walsh wrote a song about. And when he said that “City Streets don't have much pity, when your down that's where you'll stay.” he was not exaggerating. Even the hard working folks down here will stay down here without some miracle.
     
And it sometimes is hard to distinguish between a lazy bum, and a person trying hard to recover.
I have been here a long time and I cant tell at first glance unless someone is drunk on the street and falling all over the place. You wont hardly ever see a hard working homeless person wearing the suit and tie he used to wear in another life.  But it is all about mindset. I am definitely no better than anyone else. But seeing what I see every day just motivates me to try to set myself apart from some people. I have recently had a poetry book published. I am trying very hard to start my own business. Small dreams, small accomplishments, but focusing your attention inward and forcing yourself to take a look at who you are will make you realize who you want to be, and you will find yourself making small strides toward that goal.

      As long as we all remember that no matter how much money we have, or how untouchable we think we are. Life can change in an instant. There are so many like me that have rotten low paying jobs,  but think about those people who don't have a job. A crappy paycheck is still a paycheck. I would love to do more than go to a movie once a month, or be able to fill my tank up more than once a pay period. But the reality is is that I have a few bucks to see a movie, and a half a tank is better than an empty one.
One of the reasons I wrote this article is because everyday I see well to do people looking down their noses at me and my 1995 Pontiac Transport, as if to say how dare you not let me and my Mercedes go first. Or the person who snickered at me the other day when I grabbed for the value fish sticks and she got crab legs.  Just try to remember that tomorrow she could be applying for food stamps wondering what the hell happened.

        If I can keep perspective with the life I have, then I see no reason other people can't as well. The homeless/Low Income world is a mixture of the lazy, the hard working, former high society, and the very talented. Recession, hunger, and loss affect everyone. Do what you have to do to survive, but keep in mind that it's the way in which you choose to survive that will determine whether or not you can live again. Grab your family and hold them tight, they are your greatest resource. And if your in such a neighborhood. Look closely at the homeless, at one time, they may have been you. So as bad as things are, they could be worse.......God Bless