On Mormon Baptism by Proxy

Paul wrote thus to the Corinthians: "Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if
the dead rise not at all? Why are they then baptized for the dead?" (I Cor. 15: 29). This verse is used by the religions, as few there are, whom practice “Baptism by Proxy.” What does it mean to the non-
religious? Nothing but the usual bickering between holy book mongers whose lives revolve around the
worship of beings beyond our realm. But to a holy man, Baptism by Proxy is one of the most heated
debates, current and previous, to wander our ears.

The practice is almost entirely known to be used by those of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter
Day Saints, although interestingly enough, the practice is not used by the Fundamentalist Mormon
churches, the source of most of the issues and debates that the entire Mormon religion is constantly
under fire because of. This may be because of the extensive record keeping that must be done in order
to perform it properly. The Church of Latter Day Saints has kept a lengthy record of all births, deaths,
marriages, and the like throughout their existence, and through these records they are able to trace
lineages beyond that of even some government agencies.

But what does Baptism by Proxy actually DO? The Church of Latter Day saints believes that it is
their right, no, their duty as “children of God” to perform a rite that allows the post-mortem baptism of
a soul, so that this soul may pass on into the afterlife properly. A baptism is a holy ritual that “cleanses”
the soul to make it pure enough to allow the “Holy Ghost,” a form of the Christian God, into their body
to push them in the right direction for the rest of their lives. Without this baptism, and the confirmation
of the person’s worship of Jehovah (the Christian God’s proper name), the person will inevitably float
along purgatory, presumably for all time.

But let us inquire into the Biblical reasoning behind this practice. The Apostle Paul mentions
baptism for the dead in his first letter to the Corinthians. Critics of Mormon theology use the same
chapter to point out that the practice is not in keeping with Biblical teaching. (1st Corinthians, Chapter
15) According to the Mormons, everyone who has ever existed “will hear the gospel, whether in this
world or the next.” One must understand the Afterlife Theorem of the Church of Latter Day Saints for a
full knowledge of what this entails, but in short it means that even if one is born far, far away from any
functioning Church of Latter Day Saints, or is even a member of a different religion, they will still be
“granted” the opportunity to convert. According to the Mormons.

A fine belief, in theory, so how could anyone possibly birth an issue with the practice, if said
practice only applies to those of the faith? The problem is that the Mormons extend their well-meaning
practice to those who have vehemently declared that they wish to take no part of it! In the eyes of the
non-religious, there is no harm, no foul in baptism of one who has been dead hundreds of years,
perhaps. But to the religious, and those opposed to religion, it is a slap in the face to have another
church of completely different belief systems to drop the hammer and baptize anyone they so choose.

Other Christian churches are directly opposed to the practice itself, thinking Baptism by Proxy to
be a perversion of the verses that the Church of Latter Day Saints wields as a sword to cut down the
criticism of the aforementioned opposition. Corinthians 15: 29 has been known to the Christian
community as one of the most difficult verses in their text, both to translate and to interpret from
translation.

Furthermore, it is surrounded by verses that speak of the direct resurrection of Jesus Christ
from the dead to live once more among the flesh. In various interpretation texts around the world,
countless explanations of I Corinthians 15: 29 treat either "dead" and/or "baptized" as figurative or
spiritual. In other words, it could possibly be alluding to the zombie-like resurrection of the fleshy body,
the baptism of a soul long since dead, or ever “Baptism by Substitution,” a completely different yet
oddly similar practice? It could be any one of these, or perhaps none of them at all. Different
translations of the same text could lead to an infinitesimal amount of possibilities.

But the translation and interpretation, as seen by the Church of Latter Day Saints, must be
scrutinized. And when scrutinized, there are many flaws to be presented. Why is it so important? Does
this mean that anyone who could not read, or hear has no other choice but to be baptized by another?
Someone who did not live in an area with a Church of Latter-Day Saints, or someone born before the
Church has no other choice? It has been said before that if a person does not hear of it in the physical
realm, they will hear of it in the other world, so why is it necessary?

Furthermore, the Mormons believe that even if a Baptism by Proxy is performed on behalf of
someone that they get some sort of World of Warcraft like decision, such as “James Smith of the Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is trying to Baptize you. Do you wish to proceed?” Perhaps that puts into perspective how ridiculous this thought sounds. As faux pas as relating a video game to a religion is, it serves to drive home the point that it is in my belief that it is incredibly redundant, according to the laws of the afterlife as told by the church.

But one thing we must always remember is that life without meaning is not life, and by
rejecting purpose from one’s life it is essentially death. Religion, in theory, can be treated as another
form of the conundrum presented by Corinthians 15: 29; it is a resurrection of the spirit, to some
peoples—nay, the very definition of a Baptism is the rebirth of the spirit whole and anew, as if
never once touched by the sins of mankind. The Lockeian Tabula Rasa. A practice should not be judged
by it’s redundancy check configurations, as one would do to a machine. No, the human element bends
and turns and twists as he deems necessary.

Ergo, one must look at the practice as a function of human relations, specifically, not how it
relates to other human religious belief systems, but into how it relates to the human condition as a
whole. An Amish woman may tsk at you for your use of electricity in your daily life, but she would
most likely, and happily, thank you for not marauding her simple, 2nd-world village with your modern
nuclear warheads and such.

That is to say, that like most other practices within most religions, one must peer beyond the
veil and witness what the practice brings to one’s life. Children rejoice knowing that their late uncles
have found true happiness through the child’s own selfless action. Mothers and Fathers can say
goodbye to their tragically lost children after an accident. This is a practice of hope and peace, one that
ordinarily would have no flesh and blood effect on other peoples.

Ordinarily.

Sadly, the Church of Latter Day Saints is constantly under fire, for multiple reasons, and often
times they are seen as the most publically loathed religion(s) on the planet. The other numerous
denominations of the Christian Faith seem to criticize the Mormon sect more than they do La Veyan
Satanism, or even Wiccan. I personally believe it is because at least the Satanists are capable of keeping to themselves and their own kind, whereas certain unscrupulous members of the Mormon church
cannot help but to violate an agreement made in 1995 between the Jewish and the Mormons.

The fact is, the Mormons have Proxy Baptized millions, and millions of people, from each
other the Founding Fathers, to thousands of deceased Jews, most of which met their end in the tragedy
of World War II. The problem? Most of the Founding Fathers were deist, or non-religious. And of
course the aforementioned Jewish peoples are being hit over the head by the Christians even now; a
fate that has been deemed inescapable, even in death, by the rogue (or “misunderstanding yet well-
meaning”) Mormons who deliberately violate the agreement made.

And of course there is no punishment against this violation, other than a mean letter from the
family whom was done a mis-service in this manner. And that is assuming that the family is even
notified! It is my personal belief that the agreement be made solidified by the Law, and that a fine of
perhaps $5000 be assessed to any member of a (now) illegal Proxy Baptism. That way, the Baptisms
that are performed with permission are allowed to proceed, and those that are proven unprincipled
will be met with a force that no fifteen member family can stand against without budge; a hole in one’s
wallet.

Perhaps my even suggesting the notion will have the Mormons do unto me as the Catholics
did unto Luther, but my point remains that invoking one’s beliefs on another does nothing to promote
peace and harmony, but yet further obstructs it. I am sure the Almighty One has proactive
countermeasures against not one, but all forms of divine ignorance. Let your faith in him swell,
and continue to pray for the nonbelievers. Let the nonbelievers be in peace with you, as this is
all they ask of you.