What Is a Youth?

What Is a Youth?

A My-HiME fanfic by sbemail

Chapter 1: Ice and Desire

Started on July 19, 2010

Finished by July 19, 2010

The place Natsuki walked into was far from where she thought she was, and from where she was supposed to be. It almost seemed as though it was not part of this world, but instead its own world all by itself. Yet all it was was a boudoir; a bedroom. Though Natsuki had to admit it was the most elegant looking bedroom she had ever seen, and that included the bedroom of her wealthy ex-girlfriend Shizuru Fujino. The floor seemed to be carpeted with gold, and the walls were made of pure marble and were well-polished. Upon the glistening ceiling was a crystal chandelier, which appeared to absorb the sunlight that poured in from the clear glass windows covered with red-and-gold tapestry, and diffracted it all across the room, which looked big enough to be its own house, by the way.

At the front of the room was a marble fireplace, with roaring orange flames in it, guarded by a glass gate. In front of the hearth were several squashy armchairs and couches placed at various points in that sector of the room, with a beautiful love seat placed directly in front of it, which seemed perfect for an overly wealthy couple to make love on St. Valentine's Day in a cabin on the snow-capped Alps. On the right wall adjacent to the fireplace, was the doorway through which Natsuki somehow walked to enter into this world; an elegantly carved oak door with a golden handle. On the opposite side was a similarly carved door.

On the wall opposite the fireplace, underneath the window, was an enormous four-poster bed that looked as though it could hold five people. As Natsuki looked at the crimson satin sheets, shimmering comforter, and large pillows with crimson gold-trimmed pillowcases, she decided that the five people would most likely be engaging in a psychedelic orgy. On both sides of the bed were two oak nightstands, with a long oak trunk at the end, an oak dresser on the same wall as the door Natsuki walked through, and a large oak desk on the opposite wall, holding a flat-screen TV.

Natsuki walked up to the bed, and felt the sheets, deciding that if she got on the bed, it would be very easy for her to fall asleep. She than looked out the window, and saw that she was, indeed, in some type of snow-peaked mountain range, and that early morning. But just as she made this observation, the door opposite the one she entered through opened, revealing a young girl, probably about 10 years old, with shoulder-length golden hair, pulled back into several long spikes, and sparkling blue eyes. This girl wore a skin-tight white silk dress, that only reached down to her petite knees. She was also barefoot, and wore an impish smile on her face.

"Alyssa-chan?" Natsuki said, both relieved and confused to see Alyssa Kuga, her younger sister, in a place like this. And wearing clothes like that, to be sure! "What are you doing here? What are you wearing!"

"Hello, Onee-chan," she said, sidestepping Natsuki's question. "What do you think of our room?" she asked, moving her arms in a sweeping motion to indicate the grandeur of the bedroom.

This question confused Natsuki even more. 'Our room?' "What do you mean? What is this place?"

"Oh, just a little place where I thought we could spend some time with each other, in private." She put a strange emphasis on the word 'private,' as she sauntered over to where Natsuki was standing.

"I-I-It's really nice, Alyssa-chan, but," Natsuki responded, nervous with the way her sister was acting, "Don't you think it's a bit much?"

Alyssa playfully raised her eyebrow, as she stopped right in front of Natsuki, uncomfortably close to her in Natsuki's opinion, and took hold of Natsuki's hand, interlocking their fingers. "Whatever do you mean, On-ee-cha-n?" She coyly drew out the syllables, just adding onto Natsuki's discomfort.

Natsuki stumbled over her words, before coming out with, "Well, um... this place; it's a little more... made for couples, I think."

Alyssa playfully walked to sit on the edge of the bed, and tugged on Natsuki's arm to join her. Natsuki's cheeks flamed up as she saw how Alyssa's dress rode shamelessly up her legs when she sat down. Natsuki walked where Alyssa was, but didn't sit down with her. "But, aren't we a couple? We are two people after all, isn't that the definition of a 'couple'?" Her voice never lost its teasing tone.

"N-Not that kind of couple!" She said, frustrated.

Finally, Alyssa managed to pull Natsuki into a sitting position on the bed with her. "You seem a little tense, Onee-chan. Would like a back-rub?"

"No thanks, I'm fine," Natsuki said tensely.

"Are you sure? You're acting kinda funny," she said, with a face of mock-innocence.

"I-I'm acting funny! What about you?"

"What about me?"

"All this!" Natsuki nearly yelled, waving her arms around the room, "Why are you doing all of this? Why are you acting like this? And, most importantly, why in the hell aren't you wearing any pants!"

Alyssa giggled at these questions, and answered them, saying, "Well, in short, I've been thinking a lot lately. Mostly bout my life. It may be a bit to early for me to say this, but I've decided that life is to short, and that if you're going to do something, you might as well do something that makes you happy." When she said this, she inconspicuously placed her and on Natsuki's knee, so that she didn't notice until Alyssa stopped talking. Immediately upon realizing this, Natsuki froze up even more, if possible.

"And..." she started, unsure of how to put this, "What exactly is something that would make you happy?"

Alyssa's coy grin got even wider, as she leaned in closer to her older sister. "I'm so glad you asked," she said with her mouth just millimeters from Natsuki's. The older girl gulped as her sister's warm breath was projected at her, and she couldn't help but notice it smelled of mint. Natsuki almost felt her body shut down when she realized Alyssa was leaning in ever so closer to Natsuki, and her blush only deepened. Alyssa, however, seemed completely unashamed of what she was doing, and kept on slowly leaning into her sister's warm body, until the last bit of distance was closed, and the two pairs of lips that had been so far apart were finally connected.

As soon as this happened, Natsuki found herself shooting upwards from a lying-down position on her own bed, which was significantly smaller than the four-poster bed she was in just moments ago. She also saw darkness flood her vision, in stark contrast from the naturally well-light bedroom, and realized this was because she was no longer in that gorgeous mountain-top boudoir, and was instead in her own dorm-room at Fukka Academy, in Fukka, Japan. Immediately following this realization was the realization that the events that had unfolded in the elegant bedroom were nothing more than a dream.

Natsuki's heart was racing, her palms were sweating, and her head was aching, as though she was just waking up from a nightmare, as opposed to a romantic fantasy. And for Natsuki, who had earned herself the nickname of Ice Princess at Fukka, it might as well have been a nightmare. She quickly raced her hand over to her bedside lamp to make sure she had truly waken up, and after fiddling with the chain for a brief second, pulled on it and saw light enter into the room. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the pigsty of a room she was familiar with and, still shaking and sweating, crawled out of bed. She climbed over the many piles of clothes on her floor—okay, maybe stumbled would be a more appropriate term—and just made it to the door, when a soft series of knocks wafted into the room through the other side of the door.

Natsuki nervously opened the door and saw the subject of her dream herself; Alyssa Kuga, looking slightly frightened and clutching onto a brown teddy bear. "O-Onee-chan?"

Upon the sight of the girl who had practically molested Natsuki in the latter's dream, her face immediately flushed, and she instinctively took a step back. Just a moment after the fact, she realized that she was acting stupid and, pushing past the memories of her dream, said, "Y-Yes, Alyssa-c-chan?"

The teenage-girl's reaction did not escape Alyssa's notice, and she felt even more frightened for her sister, "Are you okay? What was that scream that I heard?"

'Scream? Did I scream?' Natsuki had not realized that she had screamed when she had woken up. "Oh! Um, it was nothing. Just a bad dream. That's all."

Alyssa's eyes narrowed. She knew Natsuki better than anyone else in this world. Better than her closest friends, ex-girlfriend—who, admittedly, she had not spoken with since they broke up a few months back—and even their own parents. As such, she could tell very easily when something was bothering Natsuki. One of the most obvious signs was Natsuki acting frantic and worried. Normally, Natsuki held an air of coolness and confidence, which had earned her the admiration of many classmates, both boys and girls. "Are you sure that's all? You seem awful worried."

"Yes, I'm fine. Honest! I'd just like to be alone, if that's alright."

"Yeah," Alyssa said, her face falling. Natsuki attempting to distance herself from her sister confirmed Alyssa's fears that something was wrong. And what was worse, it made Alyssa a little worried that she was somehow to blame. Which, in a way, she was. "That's alright. G'night, Onee-chan."

Natsuki's response was aloof and distracted, "Yeah, 'night." She then shut the door in Alyssa's face.

Alyssa stared at the wooden door that nearly collided with her head, and her brow began to furrow; normally, when Natsuki bade her good night, she would kiss Alyssa on the forehead and say, "Goodnight, Okashi-chan." (Okashi-chan was Natsuki's pet name for her sister.) This seemingly uncaring response just made Alyssa worry even more.

Trying to decide what to make of all this, Alyssa walked back into her own room, the well-cleaned up floor being a direct contrast to her sister's messy room. The only part of her room that was not clean and organized was her bed, which she had frantically gotten out of when she heard her sister's screams. Alyssa walked over to her desk, which held a fairly new computer, several stacks of notebooks, and a pencil holder. There was also a mirror overlooking it, with several photos and pictures held onto it by tape. The photos were all of people closest to her, and the two people that recurred throughout the set the most were Natsuki, and Yayoi Oruta, her closest friend besides Natsuki. However, that was not who she was about to called as she picked up her cell phone. Instead, she was going to call Natsuki's closest friend besides her sister.

The phone rang briefly, until a tired sounding voice said, "Hello?" from the other end.

"Mai-san? It's Alyssa. I need your help."


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Immediately after shutting the door in her younger sister's cute face, Natsuki felt pangs of guilt in the pit of her stomach. She almost considered opening the door again and apologizing, but for reasons unbeknown to her, she couldn't bring herself to the act. Instead, she merely leaned against the door, facing away, and fell to the ground, burying her face in her knees.

'What the hell was that dream?' she thought. At first, she thought of the dream as a nightmare, and yet, when she replayed the dream in her mind, she realized that her memory of the dream was not bad at all. In fact, she realized with a deep crimson blush, it was actually pleasant. Especially the very last moment when their lips finally touched...

"What the hell am I thinking!" Upon this thought, she sprang back onto her feet and covered her mouth, not wanting to scream out again for fear that Alyssa would return. Instead, she just settled for an internal battle. 'Why in the hell are you having thoughts like this? She's your sister for crying out loud!'

And somewhere in the darkest parts of her consciousness, a voice laced with satin answered, "So what? What's wrong with acknowledging you have a cute sister? You've admitted that to yourself several times!"

'Yeah, sure, there's nothing wrong with admitting my sister's cute. She is after all, sure! But how is it okay that I'm being haunted with the fantasy of kissing my innocent younger sister; who, by the way, I've promised my parents to protect from bad people, like perverts that would want to make out with a freakin' ten-year old!'

"Oh, you're just being a drama queen! It's just an innocent little kiss! You've kissed her before several times!"

'On the forehead! Or the cheek! Never on the lips, like I want to- OH MY GOD, I'M ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT MAKING OUT WITH MY YOUNGER SISTER!'

The voice laughed, "It's not like this is anything new! Just admit it, you've always wondered what it was like to feel Alyssa's soft young lips on yours!"

'No! That's not true at all!'

"Liar! Just admit it! Admit it, and I swear I'll leave you alone!"

'Never!'

"Admit it!"

'No!'

"Do it!"

'Just leave me alone!'

"Not until you admit what you know to be true! You don't really think you can fight against me, can you? You've always been weak when fighting against your true feelings! You always give Mai a hard time for wearing her emotions on her sleeve, but you're truthfully just as bad as she is!"

'Shut up!'

"Just admit what you know in your heart to be true!"

'It's not true! It's not! The very thought of that is disgusting!'

"Liar! You know you enjoy the thought of making out with your sister! I bet it's even turning you on!"

At this remark, Natsuki's face blushed considerably. 'No! Never!'

"Don't lie to me. Your only lying to yourself!"

'Leave me alone!'

The voice started laughing at this, and did not stop, despite Natsuki's desperate pleas for it to leave her alone.

"GO AWAY!" She finally screamed, and when the voice stopped, Natsuki fell back onto her bed, exhausted. She then came to a realization that absolutely terrified her, but one that she knew she could no longer deny.

"Oh my gosh..." she said, horrified. "I'm in love with my sister!"


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The next day...

"Hello, and welcome to the Linden Baum! Oh, hey Alyssa-chan!" When Akane Higurashi first saw the glass double doors part, she put on her professional face, but relaxed it when she saw her younger classmate. "What brings you hear?"

"Hey Higurashi-san, I just came here to meet up with Mai-san," the young girl replied.

"In that case, let me show you to your table; she already arrived just minutes ago."

'Mai Tokiha, on time as usual,' Alyssa thought when she saw Mai sitting down already, her shoulder-length orange hair bouncing up and down as she nodded to whatever was being said by the waitress she was conversing with. When she saw Alyssa, whom she had invited to come here with her during there telephone conversation the night previous, she waved her over and invited her to sit on the opposite booth.

Upon sitting down, Alyssa saw that the waitress Mai was talking to was Arika Yumemiya, a middle-school girl who was good friends with Mai, though Alyssa herself had not gotten to know her that well, finding her enthusiasm and folksy personality rather annoying. How Mai and Nina (Arika's best friend and roommate) managed to put up with her, Alyssa would never understand.

"Hello, Alyssa-chan, how are you today?" Arika said, rather quickly.

"I'm fine."

"That's good, that's good. I was just talking with Mai-sempai about the buses here in Fukka, and how filthy they are. Did you take a bus here?"

"No, I rode my bike," she said simply, wondering when she was going to take their orders.

"Lucky you! I have to take a bus here every work day, and they are disgusting! Sometimes it makes me feel like I would just prefer to walk, d'you know what I mean?"

"Er..." Alyssa was at a loss for what to say; Arika had said all this very fast, and Alyssa only managed to catch a few words. Mai could sense that she was getting irritated, however, and quickly changed the subject.

"Anyways, I think I'd like to order now, Arika-chan."

"Oh, okay! So what would you two like?"

The two girls placed there orders, and Arika left, much to Alyssa's relief. "Good lord, I feel like I need an aspirin just talking to that girl!"

"Oh stop it," Mai said with chagrin, "She's a good person, just a little energetic is all."

Alyssa scoffed, "Oh please! Strap some wings on her back and tape a snout to her face and you've got yourself a hummingbird!"

"You may think of her traits as being annoying, but they just mean she's a good and quick worker-" Mai was then cut off by a crashing sound which, when the two girls turned to look at the source, revealed itself to be the sound of Arika (who was now lying on the ground) dropping several dirty dishes that had been left behind by the previous customers.

Alyssa turned back to face Mai and mockingly said, "Look out Rockefeller, we've got your new Employee of the Month."

Indignantly, Mai said, "I said she was quick, I didn't say she wasn't clumsy. Anyways, what was it you wanted to talk with me about?"

Glad the subject was changed, Alyssa said, "Well... I'm not entirely sure what it is, but there's something wrong with Onee-chan."

"Natsuki? What do you mean, there's something wrong with her?"

"I don't really know, but last night I woke up to the sound of her screaming in her bedroom, and when I went to her room to make sure she was okay, she was all pale and sweaty. She also looked scared out of her mind, like I was going to try and eat her, or something. And when she assured me everything, I wished her good night, and instead of responding in the usual way she just brushed it off and shut the door in my face! And the strangest thing is that whatever it was that was bothering her, she didn't seem to want to tell me. There was never anything she was uncomfortable about telling me, even when she found out she had a crush on Shizuru!"

Mai processed all that Alyssa said, and responded, "Maybe she just didn't want to worry you. I mean, no offense, but you do have a tendency to overreact when it comes to your sister."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, for instance, d'you remember the first time she went out on a date with Shizuru, and didn't return until early in the morning?"

"How did I overreact?"

"You tried to tape your eyes open so that you would be awake when she returned," Mai dully pointed out.

"I was worried!"

"My point exactly."

The two girls sat in silence for a minute, until Alyssa finally pointed out, "Well, to be fair, Natsuki has always been overprotective of me too!"

"That's true," Mai conceded. "In fact, I remember the one winter when you slipped on a patch of ice and hit your head and passed out. Natsuki refused to leave the hospital until you woke up, and ended up having to spend the night there."

It was at that time that Arika returned with the food. "I'm back! I brought an extra basket of fries in case you wanted some!"

Mai smiled at her, "You didn't have to do that."

Arika's face flared up at this, "I know, I just felt like it s'all. Anyways, enjoy your food, and I'll be back in a little bit with the bill."

As Alyssa watched the excitable waitress walk away, she noted, "She has a crush on you, you know."

Mai thoughtfully chewed into her food, and responded, "That's possible, but I think it's more that she just looks up to me as someone with seniority, though I'll admit she does admire me quite a bit more than she does anyone else. Besides, she's already in love with someone."

Alyssa's eyes shot up, "Really! Who!"

Mai snorted, "I'm not going to tell you!"

"Why not?"

"Because, it was something Arika told me in confidence. The only other person she's told is the mystery woman herself."

"I see..." Alyssa said, then quickly returned to the original subject. "But you know, I remember that night when I was in the hospital. I woke up late in the night and saw Natsuki sleeping with her face buried in her arms, kneeling next to the bed. I had no idea she was so worried about me then."

Mai laughed to herself; sometimes it amazed her how oblivious Alyssa could be to the depth with which her sister loves her.

TBC


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