The Evil Spork

I was a sophomore and I was taking a stage combat course. It was offered as an Honors Option as part of the scholarship program in which I am currently enrolled. The people in the program has to write a script and direct the group in a stage combat play. I wrote the true story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

I bet you are thinking that it was really silly. Yes, it was, but I had finally had the idea one day during class because one of the members in the group kept saying that she wanted to do a fairy tale as our play.

We had the right amount of people in the group for that - a grandmother/narrator (me), Goldilocks (the girl that wanted to do a fairy tale), and the three bears (three guys).

Well, the bears were not literal bears, they were a gang called the bears. They were portrayed as really dumb like on the looney tunes cartoons. They kept getting into fights. They didn't make porridge. They made instant oatmeal and they still managed to mess it up.

We were going to have a spoon fight, but we decided agains that. One of the guys brought a black spork and they would start a fight by him flinging the oatmeal (pretend only) at the other bear.

Well, one time while we were taking a break from our rehearsing, they were goofing off, and the one guys said, "Beware, the evil spork!" It was really funny at the time. You had to be there to get it. We asked if it was evil because it was black and the answer was yes. White sporks are not evil. Black sporks are evil.

Now, whenever I have a black spork, I'll take it out and point it at people and say, "Beware, the evil spork" or something similar. I also threaten people with the evil spork.

My friend Milphey will sometimes say, "Oh no, not the evil spork, again!"

Now, the only question left is, "Why are sproks so funny?"