Raj

“You can leave the office. No more explanation will be given”. My eyes were pleading for one more chance but I knew that he was really serious this time. I had not made any sale in two months, blame it on the complexity of the new product or on my incapability. Sampath continued, “Rahim, The new management is very strict about non-performers. I talked for you but nothing could be done”. Talked for me? He would have recommended my name for dismissal. It’s my sister’s marriage in two months and I was about to ask for a loan in the office even though there were minimal chances for the loan request being accepted. I felt my purse and I remembered returning Afzal’s money in office. He should be very happy with the news as he wouldn’t have to lend me any money now.

          I really wished that some bus conductor would give me a free ride to home but then I thought that there was no hurry to go home. I wasn’t sure how the family is going to react on this news. I looked at the tower clock. It wasn’t ticking and I hoped the same with my life too. I was looking at people’s faces as I was walking down the road. Some happy, confused, enraged, miffed and surely they must be having their stories to say. A prostitute with a cheap perfume crossed me not even bothering to look at me. It’s surprising that they catch the desperation vibe. Two blocks later, stood my school. It looked different and the nearby sweet shop was replaced by a closed pawn shop. Ten years is a long time. School life was not very great but much better than my present condition. I was neither a geek nor popular. There was pretty usualness in me which I abhorred a lot. Girls found me disinteresting and stayed away.

          They say life gives you some sweet surprises and it was my turn to accept it. Ruqaiya joined in our school when I was moving into higher secondary grade. She was really different from other girls. Naturally beautiful, she wouldn’t bother to look pretty. There was deep innocence in her eyes but she would talk like a mature person. I chose to stay away from her as I knew that the other girls would have given her a detailed report about every guy in the class and my grades looked worse than those popular ones. I don’t even remember the incident of how we got acquainted but I still cherish all those sweet memories. I was thankful to her for making me realize that woman is not an alien but a very part of a man’s life. As I got close to her, I wondered at the special dimensions of a girl’s life which looked different than my middle aged mother and 10 yr old sister. I was shy to ask her why she preferred my company than those super talented dudes of school. Some jealous boys murmured that she was friendly with me as I was a Muslim like her. I didn’t bothered to think about the details and was just living the moment. I was failing in subsequent exams but no one was there to notice that and even I didn’t give a thought about it. I really wished those two years have 5000 days in them and I don’t have to leave Ruqaiya at all. Every story has an ending, be it good or bad.

        Rajkamal or the super cool Raj joined our school after two months with some influence. Within few weeks, he was quite popular in the school. Guitarist, dancer, singer, first ranker and with a real cool attitude, He had all those readymade ingredients enough to make him the favorite. I was relieved when I heard that he wasn’t interested in Ruqaiya. Days passed by real fast. One thing I forgot to notice that she was really interested in him. She told me that she felt a crush on Raj and wanted me to speak for her. Even god helps dudes. I denied her request and she left the place without saying a word. I didn’t attend the school for two weeks and started wandering bunking school. When I returned, Ruqaiya was furious.”Where the hell were you idiot? I was thinking all sorts of things. Won’t you inform me?”  I really needed that care for the moment but lacked words as usual. Why wasn’t I born dumb god? At least I don’t have to express myself with right words.

    “Thambii, I missed my bus, please lend me 10 rupees” a stranger broke my memories. 10 rupees looked a big amount to me that moment and I walked past ignoring him. I realized that I have walked a real long distance. The road really looked alone like it missed humans. Ruqaiya. I didn’t have any work to do rather than walking and thinking about her. We met after our higher secondary board exams results. She got marks above thousand and was trying for some medical seat. I was not sure about my future but lied to her that I have applied for visual communications course. We stood silent for some time and she finally broke the silence. “Raj proposed to me. I said I need time to think but he is desperately asking for an answer”. I said her to accept it. She gave a look which meant that she will think about it. She has already thought about it. Raj looked a hero to her but a certain villain to me. I made a thought never to see both of them again in my life.

    10 years passed. 6 jobs, 3 breakups. Life was different but not interesting. Ruqaiya must have lost her name after getting married to Raj but I didn’t hear about either of them all these days. Last thing I heard about them was they were pretty much together even after their graduation. This time, a heavy sound broke my memories with the noise of screeching of brakes and skidding of tires. A brand new sedan was rammed into a tree and I saw a man struggling to get out of the car with flush of blood over the steering. I ran towards the car and made all my efforts to bring him out. He was a plump person and I struggled a lot to get him out. He was gasping for breath and the street lights showed his face similar to RAJ. It’s Raj. Same eyes, He hasn’t changed except that extra fat across his belly. I must save him. I didn’t see any vehicle at all and my mobile phone ran out of battery. I was helpless for a moment but then I searched his pocket for mobile phone and got a latest one. Whom should I call? Police or ambulance. My hands were shaking. It’s a strange feeling to see someone struggling for life. Shit what’s the number? I felt my heart beating faster and eyes hooked upon dying Raj.

  “Ya is it ambulance? It’s an accident at….” I was finding difficult to deliver words and disconnected the phone. I looked again at Raj. He was still struggling for breath. Sorry Raj, I cannot do it. I took his valet and found some heavy cash and filled it in my pocket. It seemed to me that his eyes were searching for some real angel to help him out of this situation. This money would at least help for a month. The gold chain would also help. I started literally running away from the place hoping that someone would help him. I gave him a last look turning back and it appeared that he had died.

    My sister’s marriage got over in a much simpler manner and my family came to know about my dismissal. My uncle found me a job in his friend’s textile showroom. 6 months passed and they started to talk about my marriage. My family was bargaining with marriage assemblers for some good dowry. Strange isn’t it?  Marriages are a complete reversal to prostitution. Here the girl pays to get laid. 

  Sampath called me.”Rahim , can you meet me tomorrow?” . I reluctantly said yes and visited the office the next day. Sampath behaved as if he was waiting for me. He took me to the manager’s cabin and I saw the ghost of Raj sitting on the chair. It’s not ghost. Its 11’o clock in the morning. “Would you please excuse us, Sampath?” said Raj and was waiting for him to leave. I tried hard not to show my shock. “Rahim, It’s a long time buddy, I saw your name in the recent list of fired employees and thought of meeting you up. Listen, if you anytime feel like coming back to the company, just give me a call. Take my card.” I felt my body shivering but took the card from him. He ordered juice for both of us. I didn’t ask him if he has married Ruqaiya. I was waiting desperately for the meeting to end. We shook hands and I left the office and hurried down the road.

  I tore Raj’s business card and remembered my previous phrase. Even god helps dudes.