The Ballad of Alan Morris

The Ballad Of Alan Morris

I.

where did alan morris go?
before he could hardly walk
he raised his hand to the winter snow
and tended to livestock

he braved canadian winters
in the depths of saskatoon
with warmth at heart
from a roaring fart
he slept from dusk till noon

a farmers son, he ate a plenty
carried quite a carriage
drank and smoked and shot his gun
right through his first two marriage!

he played hockey, thursday night
kicked and elbowed, got in fights
but he got first star every night
cause the saskatooners love a fight!
yeah saskatooners love a fight,

rolling thunder in his laugh
he downed near 80 beers
he swore and spit and broke in half
each bottle, smashed, with cheers
and he drove home on a motorbike that shifted through 8 gears

where did alan morris go?
that man could hardly walk
he was incoherent, rambling, faded
did yah hear that fucker talk?
the police are going to catch him maybe,
or hell crash and wreck his lady,
that would drive the fucker crazy
and i sure dont like this Davey,
Yeah i sure dont,

Break of dawn at Daveys house
Have you heard the news? Oh boy!
Say Alan was drunk as a louse,
and hes still drunk this morning,
Running round town with a shotgun shouting
about life being boring
I think he's lost it, maybe he will pass out
without warning,
but i think its best we hide our asses till maybe thursday mornin'
I know i will, fuck...

So old alan morris killed a dozen that day
with a sawed off 20 in a biker way
he rode 30 past the limit on the 605
and wounded 48 pedestrians as he rode by,
13 dead men on the ground
In the blink of an eye

and thats why alan morris got the 3-0-FY

So where did alan morris go?
to heaven or your hell,
to sit amongst the rightous ones
or rot amongst the dead?
to burn in prison or be stranded,
wounded, tortured and commanded,
remember that people demand it
mans destruction man?
we planned it.

er, uh, alan planned it...
It wasnt me..

It was alan..

I swear, and,
The Ballad of Alan Morris! Is! Now!
closed.