Tonight

My stomach rose to my throat. Your name appearing on my chat list.

Months had past since the last time we spoke. We never had that talk.

Saying hi with nervous hestitation; just to see wat you would do.

A reply like we were buds that saw each other everyday. Took me by surprise.

two eeks ago seeing each other in the flesh. Both too chicken to say something eye to eye. Now an open chat window, and a conversation to lead.

With a few moments paused, my fingers start to tap at the keys. "I'm ok. How are you."

Talking to me like I was never your girlfriend. I keep wondering if it will ever be acknowledge. Someone has to bring it up, I kept thinking. So I did.

"I should have spoken to you. We never talked. It is so bad."

Nothing. A change of subject.

Do I revert back.

No.

A to-and-throw of the latest news. New houses, jobs. Light hearted. Yet brief.

You say "hope to speak again soon" then a "cya". And before I can think of a salutation; "offline" appears. And that was our sonversation lead.

That was tonight.

The time before this that we spoke; of funny, I should say text... The time before this that text, we said we would be friends. We know this didn't pan out in that bar we saw each other in.

The time before that when the message I left said "know that it is over", you never left a word. It had been two weeks since we'd spoke; or seen one another.

It really lead me to believe you did not like me. I wondered to myself how I could be in a relationship with someone That did not like me. I thought I was falling in love. I do not know love yet.

But I do love the memory of our last intimate encounter. Calling me in your cute intoxicated voice. Persuading me to visit in the young hour of the morn. Our most passion-influenced moment of the brief two and a half months. But the third arguement had come just the weekend before. I knew in my heart it was done.

Nothing would ever let me regret you. One day I hope you grant me the gift of closure. But we are both immature, so I don't blame you.

I wrote this tonight. After a quick online chat with you. I can not edit it. I can not reread it, as my mind still races with thoughts of you.

I miss you as a friend. I will never miss being your partner. We both know it didn't work.

But I would sit beside you. I would gladly be in your arms.

This is tonight. These are my words. Thoughts on you, us, past, and any future we would let.

Tonight we typed. Tonight I type.