A Better Me

Last night, I dreamt of you. Well, it was more a dream about me but you were in it. I was in a coffee shop- not like a Starbucks but a local shop, where I knew all the regulars. Except this day, I walked in and I knew no one. Where was everyone? Rather than dwell on why I felt like a stranger in my own hometown, I walked to the counter and ordered my usual fat-free sugar-free vanilla chai latte. The boy behind the counter laughed, wrote "NO FUN LATTE" on my cup, and told me it was on the house.

I made my way to a small, round table for two against one of the large bay windows with my No Fun Latte. I glanced to my right and sneaked a peak at my reflection. I did a double take. I was beautiful! My hair was a deep chestnut, not the mousy brown I was used to seeing on a daily basis. My eyes were sparkling, my cheeks held a natural rosy glow, and my teeth were a dazzling white. I was perfect. I stood to examine the rest of me- it was just as perfect. I was thin, with long legs and a smaller waist. And it wasn't just my outsides. My soul felt complete- a peace dwelt in me and I was happier than I ever was before. I was perfection inside and out.

I was distracted by myself in the window reflection, so I didn't hear the door open.
"Hello there," you said.
I turned to see you standing on the opposite side of the table. You looked just like I remember. Handsome- with your russet brown hair a mess on top of your head. Your three-day scruff made you look older than you are.
"Hey Tyler," I smiled.
We both sat down. You looked at me like you were seeing me for the first time. I suppose it was- the first time you'd seen me like this anyway. Then you told me you loved me. That's when I knew I was dreaming.

The afternoon sun was streaming through the wall of bay windows, casting everyone in the coffee shop in a peachy glow. Everyone looked so beautiful- the best versions of themselves. The setting sun was warm on my golden skin and made it shimmer ever so slightly. It illuminated your green eyes, and I saw in them an honesty I'd never seen. You truly loved me. Adored me. It was the best feeling I'd felt since... I saw you last. You smiled sweetly at me and I knew it was because of the way I looked now. I was the best version of me.

But wait- there was something glinting in your eye. It was there when I smiled at you, there when we talked, there when we laughed at each other from across the table. You adored me not because of my appearance, but because of my heart. You saw my spirit before you saw my rosy cheeks and long, beautiful hair. What did you see that you hadn't seen in me before? A warm heart? A loving soul? Whatever it was, I did not possess it in when I was awake. You never looked at me like that. Not in the years that I'd known you. The sun cast the slightest shadow on my face, and I knew the dream was ending. I told you to wait for me here at the same time tomorrow.

I woke. For being such a beautiful dream, I never felt so empty. I looked to the left side of my bed to find it empty and cold. I am vowing to revisit that dream, but not in my sleep. I felt so beautiful, strong, wonderful. I promise you I will become a better me. One that you can adore and cherish. You will see my soul and I will be proud one day to bear my heart to you. I promise.
Maybe you could love a better me.