Foiled

Written for the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge with a word limit of 300.

The prompts: This story must contain the words: allergies, vacation, picutre

Foiled

“Sir, is that a bazooka in your golf bag?”

Akmed thought quickly. In spite of his training, he found himself completely unprepared for the question.

“Please forgive to say. That is perhaps a 9-iron or maybe an inhaler for my asthma. My allergies, uh anguish most bad this time of week.”

At least his English was passable. Thank goodness for that.

The TSA agent eyed the bag suspiciously. Finally, “We’re going to have to wrap this in plastic before we let it go onto the plane, Mr. uh…”

“Cunningham. Ritchie Cunningham. That will be most good with me as I proceed to my hometown of Kansas where I always live.”

Akmed was beginning to sweat. The thoroughness of the typical TSA agent was world renown.

The agent decided to push a little harder.

“I see from your passport that you have just returned from Pakistan. What was the purpose of your trip?”

“Vacation. See, here is a picture of me at the beach.”

The TSA agent looked at it and said, “It looks like a guy running through the desert with an AK-47 over his head.”

“No sir. I assure you I was just collecting wood for a bonfire.”

“Okay, go on over to the TSA donut hut, uh, I mean the line for airport security.”

He could hardly believe it. He had outwitted America’s best line of defense, not counting the miles of fences with ladders draped over them.

At security things started to go wrong. First there was a group discussion about the x-ray of his bag. A scrum of agents finally used a Vulcan mind meld. Their now-combined intellect reached the conclusion that he was transporting an oversized tube of tooth paste.

TSA celebrated with a rousing, “Donuts for everyone,” as Akmed was led away in cuffs.

Word count 300